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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Condolences to you and your family Silver Flute. I've been to many funerals. I think there are a few questions worth asking:
    -what made your dad laugh? Is there a way to incorporate this in his special day (because this is his special day)
    -what was his favourite colour? Can everyone wear it or have the flowers or other special things in this colour?
    -did he have a favourite song? Do you think he would have liked it played or would he prefer to funk it up a bit and have everyone sing it?
    -did he have a favourite food or pub? Would it be a good idea to incorporate this into his wake?
    -did he have a passion for a particular charity so instead of flowers people could have the option to give to the charity?
    -was he a passionate sports team follower? Would he like their flag draped over his coffin?
    Lots of ideas but you know him well so think like him. As his physical bodies last day on earth, what would represent his life form the best?

    Hugs. I imagine this is a difficult time.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Sydney South
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh silver flute I'm so sorry for such terrible news.

    I think that poem is beautiful and PowerPoint presentations with photos of his life are always a beautiful touch.

    I have always liked the little folksy song 'happy trails' which I heard at a funeral once and for some reason always wanted it as it's a happy song but when you look at the words can be a little about loss as well... Also the acoustic version of somewhere over the rainbow...

    Lyrics for happy trails

    Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
    Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
    Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
    Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
    Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again.

    Some trails are happy ones,
    Others are blue.
    It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
    Here's a happy one for you.

    Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
    Happy trails to you, keep smilin' until then.
    Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
    Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

    Happy trails to you, 'till we meet again..

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    100 Posts in a week
    I'm so sorry, I know this pain very well. I had my Mums funeral not even a week ago..
    We kept it light, we had a photo montage type thing with 'Can't Smile Without You' and 'The Wonder of You' playing, which made me bawl, but she loved those songs and they featured n our home/holiday movies..

    My brother did the eulogy, he read things out for me and my sisters that were too upset to do it, and my niece and nephew read out their thoughts too..

    Our celebrant was awesome, made jokes about Mums reality TV addiction, but sensitive at the same time.

    We had an Andre Rieu song playing as we laid floral tributes on her coffin, it was a short but lovely service.

    The funeral home will be able to do pretty much everything, booklets can be arranged too..

    Sending huge hugs, it's so hard losing a parent, especially suddenly.. xoxoxox

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    100 Posts in a week
    Condolences silver flute. Losing a loved one is very difficult. I have seen it many times through work. When my grandparents died, some of the things we did were the following:

    - had a video made filled with photos of his childhood, adulthood, with all his kids and all his grandkids. The video was played at his service to the tune of "click go the shears" (he was a sheep farmer) and each of his kids got a copy of the video. My young cousins like putting on "pop's movie" from time to time as a way to remember him.

    - at the service rather than rose petals to place on his coffin, my uncle bought clippings of Saltbush and a sheep fleece to use on his coffin. Those and Rosemary provided by the funeral home were cremated with him. Special significance for him and the family.

    - at the end of the service, each of the guests was provided with a packet of seeds. ('Scuse the needle (work hazard) it's covering his details for privacy reasons). ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1411822108.584337.jpg The idea was we could plant a garden to help remember him by, given he was an outdoorsy fellow before he got old.

    I guess the key is to find things that made your dad who he was and incorporate that into the day. The main memory my sister, me and my cousins had of our Nanna was playing monopoly, so my cousin placed a "Mayfair" property card on her coffin. (The bugger didn't tell anyone so of course that's when we all lost it when we saw it).

    ETA: songs we used if you're interested.
    - If these lips could only speak (Foster & Allen)
    - Click go the shears
    - The Carnival is Over (The Seekers)
    - I'll never find another you (The Seekers)
    Last edited by M'LadyEm; 27-09-2014 at 21:59.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Morphett vale
    Condolences to you and the families of those who have recently lost someone. My siblings and I had to organise my mothers funeral last month also. The funeral home were fantastic, we had a beautiful church service and a viewing for people to say their goodbyes and we put things she loved in with her for her travels. Mum always had teddies to sleep with so we put the one bought for her last. We come from a rural area and the one thing I love about country funerals is that the pull bearers walk her to the herse and then walk beside the herse for a couple of blocks. I think it is an amazing tribute of respect. The cars also follow to the cemetery in a long line with headlights on. Im sure that what ever you choose it will be fantastic. Between myself and my siblings whilst we were organising all the stuff you never really want to organise, what we realised was, as long as mum had those who loved her there to say goodbye she wouldn't worry about all the bells and whistles.

  6. #16
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    In the messy house, Brisbane
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Some things that from funerals I have been to:
    Everybody writing a word on a piece of paper for what the person meant and putting it on a canvas
    Having the service in the garden instead of the chapel
    Passing packets of tim tams around for people to have one.
    Played "Have another beer with Duncan" by Slim Dusty as the refrain (a couple of people tut-tutted at this, but those people clearly didn't really know my uncle)
    Even though these things may not be relevant to your Dad I just wanted to point out that it is ok to be unconventional. Whem MIL passed a few months ago, we had a celebrant do the service and she was excellent at asking the right questions of us and getting right to the heart of MIL and putting the service together around that information. Talk to the funeral directors, they will recommend a good celebrant.

    Did your Dad create an pieces on his woodwork that you could incorporate in the funeral? Like a bowl or vase for flowers, or a frame or carving or something you can put with a guest/signing book? Do you know anyone who plays classical guitar who could play a favourite piece? Also, if you can, put on a decent wake for people to come to after. At the wake the mood is a bit less sombre and people can open up share. My Dad died in summer and it was hot on the day of his funeral. Dad loved a beer so at the wake there was a lot of beer consumed and it was nice and right for Dad.

    Will you be writing a eulogy or will someone else do it? That is your real opportunity to share the essence of your Dad.


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