Yesterday evening my mother and I made the decision to turn off my father's life support. Watching him pass is the most distressing thing I have ever witnessed, and I am alternately numb and broken. He went from healthy to dying in a matter of hours and the shock of it all is unbelievable.
Anyway, we have booked the funeral for Thursday and most of the planning is falling to me. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to make his funeral a celebration of his life and not a "standard" funeral. Dad was an atheist, so it will be a secular ceremony. He loved gardening, classical guitar, travel, woodworking and cooking if that helps.
I was also wondering if people could help with suggestions for a reading/verse. I was kind of thinking about thishttp://www.bartelby.com/101/599.html, but not sure if its appropriate. ( if the link doesn't work the poem is "we'll go no more a-roving" by Byron.) If anyone has anything they like better i would love your suggestions!
Many thanks for anyone's help...I haven't been to many funerals and my brain isn't working very well.
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27-09-2014 20:37 #1Senior Member
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- Dec 2013
Ideas for a funeral...help please.
Last edited by Silver flute; 27-09-2014 at 20:40.
27-09-2014 20:40 #2
I don't have any ideas, except that I think a celebration of your father's life sounds like a beautiful idea. I didn't want to read and run. I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. Much strength to you...
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27-09-2014 20:41 #3
Oh my, silver flute. I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. I don't have any ideas (haven't been to many funerals either) but maybe the funeral home has some celebrations of life type suggestions? My thoughts are with you and your family xx
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Last edited by My Beloved Ones; 27-09-2014 at 20:46.
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27-09-2014 20:53 #4
Silverflute, my condolences - I've been to too many funerals and I'd love to help you if I can.
You will be paying the funeral home for their services, use them as much as possible.
Photos are the best - a powerpoint presentation is always wonderful, and you could accompany this with classical guitar music. I live in Perth, I'm happy to help scan photos and help with the presentation if practical?
Did he have favourite plants that has flowers? Sometimes people go up to his casket and place a little flower on top to say goodbye, would his favourite be appropriate?
I love the Bryon poem. Did he have any other bands or artists he loved? Nothing is really too out there - I've heard "a crazy little thing called love" and others. Advance Australia Fair?
You could ask other friends or relatives to say a few words?
Start writing down all of your memories, this can be used for the funeral and a great reminder for you down the track of the things that you love about him.
Best wishes to you - grieving is a hard thing to do and takes time and many tears. Be kind to yourself.
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27-09-2014 20:56 #5
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away silver flute. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now. Huge hugs xx
Some ideas I had for his service/wake were: a classical guitarist at the service to play some of his favourite songs. Planting a tree in his honour. Asking those that attend to make their favourite dish/sweet to share at the wake.
Sorry if they're silly ideas - I haven't had to organise a funeral before. I know at my nanas funeral we all made something to eat at the wake and it was such a celebration. She loved cooking and I felt her with us, enjoying the special food we had made.
27-09-2014 20:59 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
So sorry you have lost your precious Dad. I really like photo montages at a funeral. They can be great to reflect and also have a bit of a laugh. And you can show things about him that some people may not have seen before. All the best in this tough time
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27-09-2014 21:00 #7
The poem is lovely too xx
27-09-2014 21:04 #8
I'm so sorry for your loss Sending you virtual hugs.
I have been to a couple of 'celebrations of life'. The things that made them more of a celebration were having family or friends recount a funny or sweet memory of the person, playing their favorite song/s (for my great uncle this was the chicken dance song - it made everyone laugh), and asking the guests to wear colour instead of black.
I think the poem you have chosen is lovely. Would it be possible to have someone play one of his favorite songs on classical guitar there, perhaps while showing a photo slide show or videos of some happy times? Do you have any items that he made with his woodworking, something he was particularly proud of making, that you could take along?
I'm sure you will do him proud x
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27-09-2014 21:08 #9Senior Member
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- Dec 2013
Thank you so much everyone. There are some really beautiful ideas in there and I will definitely be incorporating a lot of them.
Thanks for the virtual hugs too ...they are very, very much appreciated! @Hulahoop, you are so lovely to offer to help, but I'm in Melbourne. Really blown away by your kindness though. Thanks so much.
27-09-2014 21:19 #10
We organised my mother's funeral a couple of weeks ago.
As pp said, funeral home will help with organising.
We had a PowerPoint photo presentation. We gave the funeral home a USB stick with photos and a song. They engaged a company they use, to put it together.
People remarked that mum's funeral was a celebration of life and not dark.
We chose "turn, turn, turn", by the seekers. Appropriate song, and mum loves the seekers.
Think about your eulogy as well.
We kept it light and focused on happier times.
This is a tough time. Be easy on yourself. Remember to take time to reflect on your dad's life.
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