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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mom0120 View Post
    Thanks =). We are Christian, He has a lot of friends in the youth group but he hasn't gone back to church since all of this happend.
    Can possibly see why... He would most likely be questioning why bad things happen and the immense unfairness of it all. The last thing he would need to hear would be a well meaning church goer telling him that it is 'the will' of a deity.... Or feeling crowded by too many intrusive "So how are you" greetings.

    His behaviour re: drinking and promiscuity does suggest that he is trying to escape the grief and pain that would be haunting him. It is also possible that his peers in this setting don't try and discuss any topics of emotional depth, rather just 'have a good time'. The main hazard I would nominate would be him using alcohol (which is a depressant) to self medicate his depression and trauma.

    The positives (yes there are positives in this!!) is that by going out and interracting with others, he is increasing his protective factors by managing his social isolation. Also, as much as the promiscuity would be at odds with your family's religious beliefs, it is a means of him releasing endorphins, activating seratonin and dopamine which all relates to him being able to 'feel good'.

    Has Zoloft been working for him? Is he regularly taking the correct dosage? (Not for you to answer but more as something to discuss with his practitioners).

    If he is getting up, going out, being around people and able to give his mind 'time out' from the trauma, then that is a good thing. When he isolates himself and is socially withdrawn is the time to get very worried.

    Hope it all works out for you, no doubt it is a long road ahead for all of you with him.

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  3. #12
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    All I care about is him protecting himself with regards to the sex. I don't know if he is taking the right dosage regularly have an appointment for this afternoon so we will see how it goes. One of the girls he has been sleeping with lives down the street and she stopped me today and said there were cuts on his abdomen. Not sure if he is self harming or from the wreck. He has a lot of scars on his back and leg from surgery after the wreck.

  4. #13
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    Doctor is adding Xanax to the mix now.

  5. #14
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    Is he seeing a psychologist too? There are great psychologists out there specialist in adolescents. They might help him work work through his grief in other ways. This help would be in addition to the medications given by the psychiatrist. And your son needs to want it, of course

  6. #15
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    He is just seeing the therapist and the psychiatrist.

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  8. #16
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    Hi Mom0120.
    A couple of things came to mind when I read your post as your son has a few similarities to my ex's son who is the same age and had (still has) self-destructive behavior.

    One thing my ex and I thought of was to plan a 1-2 month overseas trip in association with a charity and do charity work with ex's DS to get his focus off himself and into contributing to the lives of others. We both agreed it was a great idea, but we actually split before the trip was realised.
    That might not be an option due to your son's back pain and school commitments, although the school might be willing to make an allowance or give special consideration in this instance.

    A second idea is a STRONG recommendation from me to take your son to an Anthony Robbins workshop. That might sound weird but hear me out! I have been to 2 of these and they are outstanding!! We are so focussed on ourselves, Tony has an amazing way of shaking us out if our self-indulgent fog and has even coached people out of depression during these workshops. He makes us understand what motivates people and what drives them to do what they do. You will never look at yourself or others the same way again. You will never look at your son the same way again. People of all ages go. I have seen teenagers there.
    And Tony does these workshops numerous times every year in many different countries and there are always discounted tickets as the workshop dates are approaching. I have even seen super-discounted tickets on Groupon/deal websites (75% off).
    If you can afford it, book it!
    PM me if you want to chat about this

    Good luck x

  9. #17
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    Hi OP
    What an awful situation for your family to be going through. As someone else said there is no easy road for this but with the right treatment there is good outcomes.
    It sounds like your son is suffering from PTSD. The destructive behaviours may be a result of traumatic and intrusive thoughts that are 'caught' in his memory systems.
    Essentially until the traumatic memories are processed your son may continue on this path.

    It is good to here that he has a psychiatrist and therapist that are managing his mental health - hopefully the therapist is using trauma- focused therapy to assist your son. Please have a look at the Australian Centre for Post Traumatic Mental health website or Headspace website. They have some great resources for parents and carers of young people going through similar issues.
    (I am a professional who has worked in this field before)

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  11. #18
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    Going overseas with the way his back and neck are right now isn't going to happen. His psychiatrist thinks he has PTSD as well as depression. He got home from school and his appointment and just went to his room and has been sleeping.

  12. #19
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    Hi Mom0120,

    Just read your posts. I feel you have done the right thing as your son is seeing a therapist and the psychiatrist. I will pray for your son. Sometimes miracles too happen. Pray and trust in God.

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  14. #20
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    It is enormously worrying to feel you must be vigilant all the time regarding a relative who is experiencing psychiatric illness on top of what sounds like physical ailments. It wears you down somewhat and I hope you are doing little things for yourself to 'care for the carer' as it were. It can be quite frustrating and distressing at times to deal with depression in a close family member, so remember that taking care of your own emotional feelings around this stuff is really important too. It's ok to take time out for yourself from this to - remember to be kind to yourself so that you don't burn out from the stress of everything.

    Talk to a counsellor yourself if you feel distressed. Your child nearly died, after all.

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