I'd give a call to PANDA. They specialize in pre and post natal depression and are really good for a chat.
They are mums that answer the phone so they know about all the conflicting feelings etc.
I called them a few times when I has my first baby and they were amazing, very supportive. Can't recommend them enough.
It's a free call too.
1300 726 306
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25-09-2014 07:57 #11
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25-09-2014 08:05 #12
I can relate to your post. I felt similar after DD was born - I was crying a lot and just not coping. I was terrified that someone would try to kidnap DD for some reason. I was scared to leave her in the front room in case someone came in the front door and took her. Totally irrational but I couldn't shake it. I also regularly forgot to eat and was physically shattered. She was a very unsettled baby which didn't help.
I also wanted to reassure you that it's ok not to feel that surge of love for your baby. It will come in time. When they're so little and you're so overwhelmed, its understandable to feel the way you do.
Definitely talk to the nurse today and also try to see your GP. You can get a mental health care plan which gives you up to 10 sessions with a psychologist on Medicare. I have a great psych and she made a huge difference for me.
Last edited by Cue; 25-09-2014 at 08:08.
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25-09-2014 09:53 #13
@firsttimemum34 hugs! It's such hard work isn't it?! The constant waking through the night, feeling like a zombie the next day but still having to soldier on.
I would definitely talk to your GP and get some advice. Unfortunately the lack of sleep probably will be a reality for awhile so you'll need to get some strategies for coping physically and emotionally. I struggled with anxiety during pregnancy too and sought help. Three weeks in looking after a new bub, I'm glad I did because I really think that's helping me cope better now - although there are still tears of exhaustion and frustration, I can work through it. It's definitely worth getting a mental health plan sooner rather than later so that you can feel better.
Thinking of you!
Last edited by Cat74; 25-09-2014 at 10:10.
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25-09-2014 09:56 #14
Oh gosh you poor thing. I agree with all the other posters that talking to a dr is a great idea. If something is going on then is best to get help to manage it early.
25-09-2014 13:38 #15
I did to mean to press post yet....
I was also going to say that although seeing a doctor sounds appropriate for you it is also important to remind ourselves that becoming a mummy is a very difficult, overwhelming, intense and emotional time. To feel all these things is normal. We really need so much support during this time and our modern society really doesn't provide it for many women. Have you heard of postnatal doulas? If your finances allow it might be a great service for you. They provide physical and emotional support in the postnatal period (usual up until about 12 weeks). I mostly only know of ones in WA but they are online too or I'm sure google could find some in other states. Let me know if you want me to look more into it for you.
Good luck and I hope today is a good day for you. X
25-09-2014 13:42 #16
I'd really speak to panda before talking to your GP.
They are specialized in post natal depression and can help you figure out whether what you are experiencing is normal.
I was wondering this exact same as you OP. And all it took was for someone to say, yes we understand how tough this is, and give me a few coping strategies to feel better.
I'm not saying this would be your case but I can't recommend them enough.
PANDA can also tell you which GP or psychologist in your area has an interest/special training in PND
25-09-2014 14:10 #17
The overwhelming anxiety still crops up occasionally, honestly I just try not to think about bad stuff and try and distract myself before my imagination runs off and suddenly I'm crying at the thought of something happening to DP or DS. Oh and I avoid the news at all costs! But I know being able to stop the chain of negative thoughts and think rationally (because I know that DP probably isn't going to be in an accident on his way home) is a lot harder to do when you're full of hormones and sleep deprived. I hope you get some rest soon, and like others have said - there's heaps of support out there!
25-09-2014 14:18 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I think you've been given some great advice and I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your feelings. I had PND and felt very detached from my DD after she was born. I was utterly shocked by the birth and afterwards didn't feel any rush of love or anything really and thought I must be defective or something. I wish I'd spoken to someone earlier but I was too embarrassed so I really encourage you to reach out to PANDA, your GP or your CHN
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25-09-2014 21:36 #19
Thank you so much - to all of you who took the time to post.
It's a relief to know that others have felt these same thoughts and feelings and have survived and gotten past them.
I've been trying the "fake it until you make it" route - especially around others. I hug, cuddle and kiss DS and marvel at his cuteness (he really is a cute baby) in front of others but I just don't feel it. Sometimes at home I do but it's fleeting.
The MCHN came today but she's not the one I'm going to be seeing again. She was a fill in because they were too busy. We talked briefly about depression and the blues and it was ok but she basically said it was too soon to tell what it was. My next appointment is in just over a week. I'll see what the regular MCHN is like.
I lost it today trying to put make up on to go to an appointment to have my photo taken for work and then again later at the in laws . Complete over reactions to quite small things but I contained the tears quicker than yesterday.
I really appreciate the practical suggestions everyone offered including the Dr, MCHN, PANDA, etc because I'm a "do'er". If i have a plan, or an action I can take I feel better. Makes me feel less helpless and less useless.
I also really liked the 3 good nights sleep idea. If we sleep tonight, we will have had 3 and maybe tomorrow I'll have a better sense of where I'm at.
I know all this isn't helped by a possible UTI and potential thrush on my breasts - did anyone else NOT know about thrush on breasts or that the breasts would burn, have sharp stabbing pains going through them? But Dr gave me antibiotics today so hopefully whatever is going on will get fixed... I realise that won't fix thrush and might make it worse but at least UTI will go away...
Thank you to everyone who empathised and shared their "that was me" stories. This is the stuff no one tells you before pregnancy and it came as a shock that the romantic imagery I formed in my head really looks nothing like the reality I've found.
26-09-2014 20:59 #20
Today we went out for coffee with DS.
Happily sitting in Gloria Jeans and a huge wave of anxiety swept over me. I just felt all if a sudden, that something bad was going to happen to DS. I don't know what but I just felt it. Burst into tears and had to go home.
DP amazing as usual. Reassuring and supportive. I just hope it doesn't wear thin soon.
He told me that last night I woke up and yelled to him that is dropped DS and couldn't find him. DP got out of bed and of course DS was in his bassinet. I hadn't dropped him at all. God only knows what that was about.
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