I've had depression for 10 years.
I was on meds up until 6 months ago.
I've hit rock bottom this past month and I've got a thread I started about how's it been, I just progressively got worse.
Pretty much suffering the worst anxiety and depression I've ever had in my life. It's been debilitating and I never knew it could make you this physically ill.
Nightmares, constantly vomiting from anxiety, I've had passing thoughts of ending my life, headaches, panic attacks, body aches, you name it I've had it, it's just been the most hellish experience of my life.
DH has been off work for a week because I just can't live, I just can't cope.
I went to the dr on Wednesday, horrible experience.
I got in contact with my old dr (who is not close any more due to us moving, we live rural now and seeing a different dr wasn't really an option) and she has organized via phone everything the dr I seen on Wednesday should have.
I started anti-depressants yesterday, I'm having all the effects from when you first start them, but I'm feeling a little better, its mainly just nausea and headaches a bit of tiredness, I had anxiety attacks over starting them as I knew it would be like this. But I need them. I know I will get better, and some of my symptoms of depression and anxiety have subsided, it's such a nice feeling that the side effects are almost welcomed.
I have a counseling appointment soon that has been set up via a health care plan so the first 12 sessions are free, I still feel like My life is in tatters, but I can see now that things will slowly get better now.
I just keep telling myself I'm on a journey and this is the unsteady beginning to feeling happy.
Sorry, I'm most likely not of any help as I'm still sick with all this right now, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel now, but I still don't know when I will get there, but I have some hope today that I didn't have yesterday.
I just wanted to say, yes, the meds are pretty yuck to get on, but they can be such a great help!
My life would have ended 10 years ago if I never went on them.
Also what these past few days have taught me is a good doctor dose the world of good.
In regards to going off the meds, I've found depression and anxiety a much worse experience that what starting/ending meds is.
I was on Lovan to start with, I was on that for 6 years, but I wanted to try something different, coming off that was fine, a few headaches but nothing bad, I then went on pristiq which didn't work to well for me, coming off that was a little harder, headaches for about 2-3 days and just feeling a bit blah, it didn't effect my day to day activities though.
Then I went on Cymbalta which was excellent and I was happy on that, I felt normal and rational.
Cymbalta is said to be one of the hardest to come off.
After a few years of being on it I started feeling like I didn't need them any more, so I worked with my dr to come off them.
They were the hardest to come off, I had flu like symptoms for 3-4 days, but I got there.
Then I was fine. I was fine for 6 months until a series of stressful events happened and I just couldn't cope and my anxiety and depression came back with a vengeance.
Which brings me to now.
So yeah, they can be hard to come off, but it can be done and you will cross that bridge when you come to it.
You will only come off them when you feel better, so you will have a healthy mind set of "I can do this!" And not plagued by the negative thoughts that come with anxiety and depression.
You won't feel like you do right now when the time comes to go off meds.
For me I'm never going off them again.
I'm just so unstable right now I don't want to ever risk being like this again.
There is also LOTS of anti-deptessants, so if one doesn't work for you, then it's ok because there is other options.
Sorry I don't have any advise, I just wanted to let you know your not alone, and perhaps answer some of the questions of going on and off the meds.
Be kind to yourself
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17-10-2014 13:24 #11
Last edited by Liddybugs; 17-10-2014 at 13:28.
18-10-2014 09:07 #12
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18-10-2014 10:28 #13Senior Member
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I really applaud you for reaching out. It’s so hard to be open and honest, I wish you much success with your treatment.
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18-10-2014 10:35 #14
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18-10-2014 11:22 #15Senior Member
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- Aug 2014
- New Zealand
Just read your post. A big for you as you are receiving support from the mental health team. I can assure you if you are correctly assessed you are on the road to coping with your anxiety. I had PND after my eldest son was born and I was so unwell. But I asked for help and today although I am on meds I am heaps better. So do not worry you will get better since you have decided for therapy.
Last edited by Rammie; 20-10-2014 at 17:48.
22-10-2014 18:53 #16
22-10-2014 18:55 #17
22-10-2014 18:57 #18
22-10-2014 19:11 #19
I've been on 50mg of Zoloft for a week now and am feeling pretty crummy but I keep telling myself It's for a good cause. I've lost my appetite and feel sick a lot, I've been really dizzy and quite irritable. I also feel really out of it and my concentration levels have been a bit blah. My anxiety is also at an all time high so hoping that this is just the worst of it.
I've gone to the gp and gotten a mental health care plan so will be seeing a psychologist some time soon. I scored 19 on the pnd test she gave me which was higher than the one I did at my mchn appointment a few weeks before The perinatal health team have also referred me to two organizations who will work with me in getting out of the house and into playgroups. They will also work with me in terms of life and parenting goals and help me achieve what I want to. I haven't spoken with them yet but they offer a lot of services so hopefully I hear back soon. My mchn also has a back up organization as well. The perinatal mental health team call me every week just for a chat and to see how I'm going which has been nice.
I'm so glad I've started the ball rolling on getting help. At the moment I'm so overwhelmed by the help I have and will receive Its actually made me a little anxious. I've gone from ignoring my health to having all these people who want to help me which is a good thing but I'm still getting used to the idea of it all and trying to let go of all the pressure I put on myself to do it all.
I'm sad that I can't just be happy and that I can't just cope but I have to remember I have a 3 year old, a 15 month old and a newborn so of course Its going to be hard to cope and it doesn't make me a failure. Heck I deeply struggled with one so I don't know why I expect so much of myself and why I put so much pressure on myself to do it without any help.
So basically I feel a little bit worse than I did last week but at least there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.
Thanks again for all your support and kind words, it really helps me get through xoxo
Last edited by Purple Lily; 22-10-2014 at 19:29.
22-10-2014 19:38 #20
Hi Purple Lily ,
I'm on paroxetine for anxiety and it took me 1-2 weeks to get over that nausea's feeling and have an appetite again so hang in there with that! It will go away I promise. I also felt a bit worse before I felt better, I was told it takes 2 weeks to build up the a therapeutic level which it did for me (probably just over two) so again just hang in there if you can. As you probably already know, don't just stop taking them because of these things
Do you have any techniques for coping with your anxiety whilst you get through this settle period?
Please don't feel like a failure, I had a terrible time after my fourth and felt completely overwhelmed all the time. It was the anxiety/PND though, once I was better I have not had that extremely overwhelmed feeling again, I mean sure I've felt like I had a lot to do or what not but nothing like before. Before I just couldn't see how I was ever going to get through, I couldn't imagine that life was ever going to get any easier (which of course it did). Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone feeling like you do, I'm glad there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you now though
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