I am hoping that the collective wisdom and experience here might be able to help me. My husband has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and has been on 20mg Lovan for about 4 months now and seeing a psychologist every 4 weeks or so. Things had improved for him - he was much less snappy, much more even in his moods. In the last couple of weeks he's stopped taking his meds regularly - will go 2-3 days without them and then get in a total rage when I gently point it out. He hates the stigma about taking the meds (even though he's told nobody about it) and feels like I'm telling him he's a nutcase when I try to remind him to take them. He's become so aggro towards me that I very nearly left the house last night. Not physically, but just arguing that black is blue, yelling and being totally defensive and over the top in his reactions. I don't know what to do. I suppose I'm looking for some insight into his feeling that the meds are somehow an indication that he is a lesser person, or that he feels like I think he's a nutcase. To be honest he really did behave like a nutcase last night and I'm really at a loss. He's gone to work without taking his meds again this morning. I suspect he took two yesterday and that freaks me out too. He's quite unstable
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23-09-2014 07:56 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Depression and meds
23-09-2014 08:03 #2
I don't have much advice to give but I know from personal experience it could be the particular medication he is on making him feel a little more unstable. Some meds work great for some people, some people need to work a little harder to find one to suit them. Is it possible you could just instead ask him how he is feeling about taking them and if he is feeling they are actually helping him or not? It might be a good idea for him to talk to his doctor if he isn't feeling things are going well, they will be able to work together to try and find what works best.
23-09-2014 08:18 #3
I have to agree with Best Things.
I've been on Lovan, I was on it for 5 years. it's a very easy medication to go on and off again, I would forget to take a tablet, then feel I was "fine" so just stopped taking them, then a few days later I found that I needed them again.
I was on 3x 20mg Lovan tablets a day.
And yes I would have rages when I came off them.
I ended up switching to a different one (cymbalta) and no way could I miss a tablet! I would get horrible headaches if I was a few hours late so I always remembered to take it at the same time every day (right before bed had always been better for me as I sleep through a lot of the initial side effects)
When I switched I also found the new tablets didn't make me feel numb, I could still feel. And that in it's self made me want to keep taking them.
They actually made me feel like a real person, I found Lovan made me feel nothing! And it was nice to stop taking them for a few days just to feel, even if it was a depressed feeling, it was better then being numb.
There was never a time on Lovan that I was consistent with taking it, it was actually a pretty horrible time for me.
It's the only anti depressant that I've been on that I would stop taking, spiral out of control and have to start on them again a few days later.
Not all antidepressants are the same, different ones work with the body in different ways to help with depression and anxiety.
23-09-2014 10:27 #4
I haven't been on Lovan but know from taking other meds in the past that it really is an everyday thing, otherwise there's no point in taking them. They do set you off kilter if not taken regularly.
I agree with PPs that he should talk to his dr about trying a different med. Or if he doesn't want to take meds then explore some strategies for coping with his anxiety and depression. Look up things like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) - two types of therapy that arm you with specific techniques to get through it, and ultimately manage on an ongoing basis.
These would take a much greater commitment on his part than once a month dr visits but are honestly so worth the effort.
Might also be worth suggesting books like The Happiness Trap and When Panic Attacks - I've found these to be really helpful in terms of managing my anxiety.
Hope this helps!
23-09-2014 11:27 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Thanks so much for the comments everyone. He's not interested in exploring other medications and only takes the lovan (sometimes) with a grudging attitude. He says he doesn't think it has made any difference, but I've certainly seen a difference since he started taking it erratically. I feel like I can't say anything to him without him taking offence. It's not much fun being with him and for the first time I've actually been thinking about an exit strategy. If we didn't have DS I'd probably have left last night
He doesn't think he has depression and refuses to admit that it is causing us so much grief. He says his issues are all because I always get my way in everything, playing a massive victim, but realistically he gets heaps of things his way but can't see it through his fog in his brain. It's like the world is out to get him, nothing is fair etc, and he's like a wild animal when he gets aggro. I was quite frightened by him last night, just at how out of control he really was in his rage and self pity.
23-09-2014 15:32 #6
Would your DH be open to exploring the natural supplement/vitamin route?
My DH has a history of depression and anxiety. We found out (about 6 weeks ago) that he has Pyrrole - a hereditary deficiency in Zinc, Magnesium and B6. His body just expels these minerals. (Apparently 10% of the population have it and pretty much all of them suffer depression.) They are required for the production of "happy hormones" and other body functions ie mind, gut etc. He had a special urine test which shows whether he has it (and it came back positive). Our DD also had the test (being hereditary) and her count was extremely high (and she is only 9yo). In the urine test the sample bottle has a special powder in it. It then has to be wrapped in foil (to stop sunlight getting to it), then frozen until collection. If this is not done, it taints the sample and can bring back a false negative.
They have been on really really high doses of zinc, mag and B6 (with a couple of other vitamins). The Dr writes the prescription and it gets made up at a compounding chemist. My DH suffered a major depression/break down in July. He last had a full breakdown about 7 years ago. Since we found out what he had and has been receiving treatment, he has greatly improved and talking about returning to work in the next couple of weeks (he has been unable to work since early June). From not being able to function to being back to his old happy, joking self. He now has the ability to think again. He is also on a natural supplement (antidepressant?) called SAMe. We buy it from USA from iherb.com because it is much cheaper (and postage is only like $5). We've been told the "Doctor's Best" brand is the best.
My DD now has a clearer brain for school. In the last 3 weeks of being on the supplements, her ability at school has improved (she is tackling much harder work). She said the schoolwork is now easy. While she has a lot of friends, she would only play with 1 at a time because she found the groups/noise too overwhelming. She is now playing with 4-5 girls at a time and has entered the school talent contest (which she would never have done before). Her teacher sent us a wonderful email on the changes she has noticed in the last couple of weeks.
Maybe you could sell it to him as getting a special vitamin test to see if he has this deficiency. If it's positive, then he won't feel the "anti-depressant" stigma but see it as a vitamin replenishment.
I don't know where you are, but we're seeing a wonderful Dr in Mullumbimby (near the NSW/Qld border) who knows LOTS about it. If you're interested in finding out more, I could check with him whether he knows of any Drs in your area. It's worth a try.
Finally, good luck! I know how difficult it is living with someone who has depression/anxiety and how difficult it is. How you have to watch every word you say and how you say it. I know how it feels to be blamed for everything. I hope you have support to help you. My best wishes to you and your family.
Last edited by Life is Good; 23-09-2014 at 15:36.
23-09-2014 15:54 #7
Last edited by Sairz; 12-10-2014 at 06:31.
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