And does it work for you? There are so many styles of discipline I'm not sure I'm using the right one. DS just turned 3 and it's like a demon has taken over his little body. He is throwing things, knocking over furniture, throwing huge tantrums and it only takes the tiniest thing to set him off. 123 magic is having no effect at the moment.
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22-09-2014 16:39 #1
Time in, time out, positive paranting...what do you do
23-09-2014 06:20 #2
23-09-2014 06:52 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
23-09-2014 06:54 #4
Following. My 2.5 year old has become very challenging and I need some ideas
23-09-2014 06:59 #5
Every child has a 'currency'. For my ds time out didn't work but for dd it works great- she is broken hearted if she has to sit on a cushion in the lounge for 2 minutes. 123 magic did nothing for dd but worked for ds. Ds now has his ipad time reduced if he doesn't do what I ask of him. Both kids have to help me clean up if they make a mess which they don't like doing so they limit the mess making. In saying that, dd sometimes reminds me of that Tassie Devil on tv that is like a whirlwind so I get your frustration!
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23-09-2014 07:05 #6
My DS's behaviour was just awful not long after he turned 3. So many tantrums and meltdowns. A lot of other parents have reported the same difficulties with 3 year olds and I've heard that little boys get a surge of testosterone around that age which can throw out their behaviour. Not sure if it's true, but it seemed like that was what happened with DS.
We used, and still use the time out method. If he hasn't calmed down after a couple of minutes he gets returned to time out (his room). Sometimes he'll be returned 2 or 3 times before he settles down.
Hopefully it's just that crappy threenager phase he's going through and it passes soon!
23-09-2014 07:07 #7
I definitely think consistency is most important thing with behaviour management. I've done PPP course for my job but it was years ago and I've forgotten it all now.
We use time out for my 2;8 toddler DS. He's a clever cookie though and. We do have some rules. I say "what are the rules?" And he knows them so he knows what he should be doing and not doing. I would love to learn this 1-2-3 magic. Especially the emotion coaching stuff. I'm trying to also let the small things go.
But I hear you the last few weeks he's turned into me destructo throwing stuff around banging stuff - so unlike him. I'm putting it down to new baby (5weeks) and not enough attention. I say to him now do you want some attention? I ask a lot "what do you want?" Most times he can tell me. It's harder when they can't express themselves.
23-09-2014 07:08 #8
23-09-2014 07:13 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
All 3 of mine needed different approaches.
I didn't use a 'style' or 'program', I just did my own thing.
My first needed time out, but he was a quiet boy who would sit on the time out chair until I said so. Stayed there for how many minutes he was age. Came back, explained what he did wrong and what he should've done instead.
My second, there was no WAY she was going to do that lol. With her I would use distraction leading up the a possible tantrum (still use distraction on her a lot as she is so strong willed). But once she got to full blown meltdown mode, the only thing that would work was me ignoring her and letting it run it's course. Sometimes this would take 1-2 hours. If I could tolerate it I'd let her tantrum where we were, because ANY attention from me would make it worse, if we were at home and she was increasing in volume and throwing herself around-ness, I would simply pick her up no talking, and plonk her on her bed and shut the door. Then she could scream her little heart out and kick the walls etc without it bothering me.
My third, he was wonderful. Not much needed for him, I mostly used positive reinforcement for him because a) he was a good boy so had lots of good things to comment on, and b) he was/is a mummies boy so really wants to please me. Even now he is a bit older I am using a reward chart with him to focus on conflict resolution with his siblings; he loves coming to tell me when he's used his words, he loves doing the right thing (when he remembers lol).
23-09-2014 07:27 #10
Different things worked for my two. With my first we used time in until she was about 5, and then time out and it worked a treat. We also used 1,2,3 Magic.
We tried this approach with DS thinking we knew what we were doing and would find it easy, having had success with DD, but nope, different child completely and we realised we had to start all over again with discipline.
For DS reward charts have worked well. If he throws a tantrum over something we're also consistent about not giving it to him. He must calm down and talk to us calmly to ask for something. And distraction and redirection is gold. With DS, if he starts acting up (not tantrum, just silly or naughty behaviour) then its because he's bored or has excess energy and going for a long bike ride will turn him back into Mr Lovely again.
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