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  1. #11
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Just some random ideas:
    Leave the door open a bit/a lot
    Music
    Talking book playing softly or a recording of you or your DH reading a book to her
    Spray some special protecting spray around the room before you leave her (DD had a little bottle of Monsters B Gone, which smelled a lot like tea tree oil and lavender in water )
    A special item to make her brave like a bear or even a medal or dream catcher to hang over her bed.

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    Dd2 has started waking multiple times a night because she was scared, and got to a point she would scream at bed time because she was too afraid to sleep. Even coming into my bed which normally is her comfort place after a bad dream didnt work.

    I found a necklace of mine, and put it on the head of her bed. I told her it would keep the bad dreams away and keep her safe while she slept. And so far its worked! As long as she has the necklace, she isnt afraid to go to sleep and hasn't been waking her up. Could you maybe give her something 'special' of yours and tell her it will keep what ever is scaring her away?

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    I really, really don't mean this to come across as having a go at anyone's advice but I'm just curious because I know I may be dealing with this issue myself soon! Just in terms of sprays and teddies etc to make the monsters go away or offer protection, does that not play into the idea that there is something there to be scared of?

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    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    I really, really don't mean this to come across as having a go at anyone's advice but I'm just curious because I know I may be dealing with this issue myself soon! Just in terms of sprays and teddies etc to make the monsters go away or offer protection, does that not play into the idea that there is something there to be scared of?
    I had this view so always told DS2 straight away there was no monsters. They are just in stories and movies, not real.

    I did let him have a night light and an extra hug when he was scared. I also showed him how shadows work and that it was the same room whether the light was on or off. It didn't last long for him.

    "Insert witty signature here"

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    I really, really don't mean this to come across as having a go at anyone's advice but I'm just curious because I know I may be dealing with this issue myself soon! Just in terms of sprays and teddies etc to make the monsters go away or offer protection, does that not play into the idea that there is something there to be scared of?
    From what I understand, it is more valuable for the child to feel that their concerns have been heard and the parent carer has taken steps to prevent/protect rather than be dismissive of their concerns. I have heard many people say that they spent a long time saying "no no there are no monsters" but the minute they acknowledged it, the kids felt better. But naturally we didn't say to DD "yes there are monsters" we just acknowledged that she has expressed a fear and offered a solution. It worked with my DD.
    Last edited by SpecialPatrolGroup; 21-09-2014 at 22:04.

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    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    I really, really don't mean this to come across as having a go at anyone's advice but I'm just curious because I know I may be dealing with this issue myself soon! Just in terms of sprays and teddies etc to make the monsters go away or offer protection, does that not play into the idea that there is something there to be scared of?
    Can only speak for myself here, but when I give dd2 a 'protection' thing like my necklace, I do explain to her that whatever is making her scared/giving her bad dreams isnt real, its her imagination and I try to explain the difference between real life and imagination. But sometimes no matter what we do or say, these fears are still real to the child and they need an extra bit of comfort or 'protection'. Im not validating to my child yes there is a monster under your bed or yes there's a reason to be scared of the dark. Im telling my daughter that I understand her FEAR is real, and until that fear passes, I will do what I can to help make her more comfortable.

    Like I said, im only speaking for myself here.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    Can only speak for myself here, but when I give dd2 a 'protection' thing like my necklace, I do explain to her that whatever is making her scared/giving her bad dreams isnt real, its her imagination and I try to explain the difference between real life and imagination. But sometimes no matter what we do or say, these fears are still real to the child and they need an extra bit of comfort or 'protection'. Im not validating to my child yes there is a monster under your bed or yes there's a reason to be scared of the dark. Im telling my daughter that I understand her FEAR is real, and until that fear passes, I will do what I can to help make her more comfortable.

    Like I said, im only speaking for myself here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    I really, really don't mean this to come across as having a go at anyone's advice but I'm just curious because I know I may be dealing with this issue myself soon! Just in terms of sprays and teddies etc to make the monsters go away or offer protection, does that not play into the idea that there is something there to be scared of?
    That's a good point that I didn't think much about. For me personally (as a kid who stayed up til all hours for years because I was terrified someone would come into my room & kill me while I was asleep), my suggestion of a 'protector' toy or character was more of adding another prescence to the room, whereby the child would not feel as though they were sleeping alone. I know that helped me a great deal, just the companionship rather than a warrior, if that makes sense.

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    Hey I'm nearly in my 30's and still have a protection thing incase someone breaks into the house- a cricket bat under the bed.
    It's a valid point, but on the other hand adults also have things that play into the idea of bad stuff. Think of it like taking out insurance, you don't want to use it but it's there if need be.

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    Default DD refusing to sleep because she is 'scared'

    Random idea/thought but...I was terrified - like borderline hysterical - at night for years and years. It was at its worst when mum went to bed and the house fell silent. Even now I find the noise of others so comforting and makes me feel safe.

    So, would something like being a little less noisy in the evening or leaving a tv on in the lounge so she thinks someone is still up help? Poor little poppet, that night time fear of nothing is so awful :-(


 

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