White noise really helped with DS. I used an old radio off station. Definitely a dim room. Also a rhythmic patting with a cupped hand on his chest.
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19-09-2014 21:32 #11
19-09-2014 21:58 #12
There are some great tips here and hopefully one works for you. My DD was the same early on. It sounds like he is sleeping ok overnight but just not great during the day, which was us!
What worked for me was getting off to a good start in the morning. Babies of that age really should only be awake for 1 hr max including eating. I would feed one boob, change her, feed other boob, burp her and then wrap her to start settling back to sleep. I limited noise like TV and kept it dark as possible. I also didn't talk to her or do a lot of eye contact as babies find this pretty intense. I would whisper "shhh, shhh" and stuff like that, but no "who is so beautiful, aren't you clever, clap hands" kinda thing.
She had bad wind so I would hold her upright in my arms to settle. Also, not putting her down as soon as she goes to sleep in my arms. Waiting until eyes stop flickering and breathing slows - this meant she was out of the REM sleep and into a deeper sleep. Can take 10-15 mins for very over tired babies.
For us, afternoons were the worst cause it all was getting too much for everyone at that point! I would go get into bed with her and just let her feed until she fell asleep and I would sleep too so i didn't disturb her trying to get up. For a baby who was struggling to do 10 mins asleep, she once slept for 3 hrs like that!!
I also found using a dummy helped, and we also used Infant Friends drops which really seemed to help with the wind / general unsettled-ness.
The good news is it gets better! We are at the 4.5 mth mark now and she still has the occasional nightmare day but we are SOOO much better than we were. Really about 10 weeks was a major turning point for us. No long to go xxx
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19-09-2014 22:03 #13
I have recently learnt that attending to bub when they start to stir/grumble actually interrupts their natural sleep pattern and causes them to wake up when they are actually in a stage of sleep. Google stages of sleep - babies actually spend a bit of time in active sleep and may wriggle, grunt (this is what DS does!), whimper/cry out, and open their eyes. If you leave them they move into quiet sleep.
I was doing the same thing, constantly responding to his noises, picking him up, trying to get him off to sleep on the breast... I'm now only feeding when I see hunger cues and letting him go through the sleep stages and he's sleeping for 2hrs three times a day!! He's 8wks.
20-09-2014 08:59 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
"If you pick up such a baby, look at him and talk to him, he will often start straining, crying and arching as his nervous system overloads with your input on his senses. With such as him, you can either pick up, or you can look at him, or you can speak to him. You just can’t do all of them at once."
I wonder why this isn't told to new parents when bub is born?
24-09-2014 13:21 #15
I've been meaning to come back and update but haven't had a chance. Thanks so much for all your advice, it's been really helpful.
His day sleeps are improving! Yay! @RedCreamingSoda you're right - I was confusing him. He didn't have any consistent cues or sleep associations because I kept mixing it up on him.
I was so caught up in trying to make sure he could be flexible and sleep in the pram if we were out, and if there was a bit of background noise that I was chopping and changing what I was doing to settle him and where I put him and he just didn't know what was going on.
I still want him to be flexible with his sleeps but what's more important is that he sleeps NOW!
Now we do:
Feed, nappy change, offer boob again (generally refuses) and then I swaddle him in a love to dream wrap. I've worked out he prefers arms up which has made a difference as well. I will hold him and pat his butt and shhhh until he's yawning and resting his head on me, and I put him down when he's almost but not quite asleep. I stroke down his nose and shhh once or twice until his eyes are closed again and leave him. I generally have to go back and repeat the butt patting and shhh two or three times and he nods off.
When he wakes we do tummy time, have a bit of time in the bouncer or have a cuddle. Then repeat.
He will have his first sleep of the day in the ring sling, so we do all of the routine except the swaddle because he's basically swaddled onto me in the sling.
Then the next one has been in the pram the last few times. I get everything ready, feed him and put him down the same way into the pram bassinet and we go for a walk with the dog and he nods off.
Then he goes into the proper bassinet for another sleep around 1pm. Then he's up for most of the afternoon unfortunately and goes to bed around 7.
He's so so so much happier in general!
24-09-2014 13:38 #16
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