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  1. #1
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    Default What do you do when another kid hurts your child?

    I had DS at one of those shopping centre play areas today and another little girl was picking on him. DS is 15 months and I would guess this child would be 3-4. She kept blocking him from climbing/going where he wanted to and stepped in front of him when he was trying to play with toys etc.
    He's too little to know she was being mean and he wasn't upset so I left it. But then he tried to climb up this ramp behind her and she deliberately and quite forcefully kicked him in the face. I was so shocked. She had this horrible vindictive look on her face and I just couldn't believe such a young kid would do something so nasty on purpose, for no reason. I really didn't know what to do and it took a great deal of self control not to lose my s***.
    All I said was "What did you do that for?" which she ignored and just went off and kept playing. I looked around trying to see if her mother was going to do anything but it didn't look like anyone was even watching her. I figured out who her mum was right as we were leaving but I didn't say anything because we were leaving anyway. Fortunately DS wasn't really hurt (I had been expecting to see blood).

    Would you have said something to the mother? I kind of wish I did because I really felt like she should have been watching her kid (after I removed my son she continued to pick on other little ones instead). But on the other hand we were leaving anyway and I doubt she would have really cared.

    (Sorry it's so long).

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    Happyma (18-09-2014)

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    Yes I would have said something. And I'm sorry your little boy was hurt.

    My son is 2.5 and has recently started pushing. Not in a vindictive way, but if he is playing with something he will shove another child out of the way. I watch him like a hawk at playcentres etc. and yes, if he behaved like that little girl I would want to know.

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    DarcyJ (18-09-2014)

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    I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from saying something to the mother. But then I'd probably regret it later because I'd get so worked up about it.

    So it's probably one of those things, if you said something you wish you didn't, and if you didn't you think you should.

    It infuriates me when kids are like that and the parents aren't paying attention. One off thing I can understand, but if they are playing up over an extended period of time then they really should notice. Especially at only 3-4 yrs old, you can't exactly leave them to their own devices and go off and do your shopping.

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    Your poor DS. I don't have kids yet, but I am quite confident that in this situation I would have said to the mother "your daughter kicked my son in the face before. He's ok, but I thought you would want to know what she did".

    What made you think she wouldn't have cared? I know there are some parents out there who wouldn't accept their princess could have done something wrong, but she may not have been one of them. When I do have children, I'd be mortified to think my child did that to someone and I wasn't told so I could deal with it.

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    DarcyJ (18-09-2014)

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    I would have said something to the offending child - not yelling or anything but I would've had my that's not cool face on.

    I've given up saying anything to parents if I don't know them because in the three instances that I've approached a parent for pretty harsh attacks (a bite to the face, a well aimed kick to the head and repeated pushing and shoving) I was ignored, told "oh I'm sure it was an accident" and to eff off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    Your poor DS. I don't have kids yet, but I am quite confident that in this situation I would have said to the mother "your daughter kicked my son in the face before. He's ok, but I thought you would want to know what she did".

    What made you think she wouldn't have cared? I know there are some parents out there who wouldn't accept their princess could have done something wrong, but she may not have been one of them. When I do have children, I'd be mortified to think my child did that to someone and I wasn't told so I could deal with it.
    The main reason why I think she wouldn't have cared was because she was sitting miles away at a cafe drinking a coffee and chatting with another woman and paying absolutely no attention. I figure if she cared about her child's behaviour she would have been more present.
    Also the way the kid immediately moved onto someone else's child (also much younger than her) makes me think it wasn't just a one off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    The main reason why I think she wouldn't have cared was because she was sitting miles away at a cafe drinking a coffee and chatting with another woman and paying absolutely no attention. I figure if she cared about her child's behaviour she would have been more present.
    Also the way the kid immediately moved onto someone else's child (also much younger than her) makes me think it wasn't just a one off.
    Ah, yes, that does make sense, I think you probably drew the correct conclusion there!

    I just had a conversation with another one of my friends, who is TTC#1 too, regarding what our worst fears about having children were. We both concluded it was "other parents" (and our ability to keep our temper in check in situations just like these!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I would have said something to the offending child - not yelling or anything but I would've had my that's not cool face on.

    This.
    If I see another kid (especially older) purposely hurting one of my kids, I say something to the child in stern but calm voice. Not angry, not raising my voice or anything like that... but they know im not happy. My kids call it the scary voice and dd1 reckons she likes it better when I yell if it continues then I might gently let the other parent know.


    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I would have said to the girl "don't hit,, it's not very nice." Then I would have said something to the mum like "hey there. I know kids this age are still learning, I thought I would let you know, for your own use, that your little one was a bit rough in there, kicking my little one. "

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    DarcyJ (18-09-2014)

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    @DarcyJ omg you have had the same day as me!!
    I took dd who is 19 months to a playcentre in the middle of shopping centre today and not once but twice she was pushed. First time the boy who wouldve been 3ish slammed her so hard into the equipment I thought her tooth went through her lip... and same thing mother completely ignored while I nearly lost my ****!!!!!
    If that wasnt enough I took her back after lunch to have a play while it was abit quieter but nope made no difference another boy kept following her and pulling her off anything she wanted to play with until he finally pushed her and she hit her head, tears started immediately and I just didnt know how to control my emotions! This time the mother saw and did try to come up to me and ask if her son did it even though she kept ignoring the other attempts. I just grabbed my dd and said "forget it" I was so close to snapping!
    Anyway sorry to turn it into me though im interested to hear what others would do.
    Im sorry this happened to your ds today too op

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