Hi ladies! I go to all my BT and scans on my own but DH came to EPU and transfer for our first cycle last month. He looked so awkward during transfer - a little overwhelmed I think poor love! Plus I know all the staff from all the BTs and scans but he doesn't know them. Must be weird to be a bystander in the process of making your child - as the one going through it we are always involved but partners are a bit removed from it all.
I will probably go alone for FET next time but I don't really mind attending appts on my own as long as I get tlc afterward! Hehe
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12-09-2014 19:03 #11
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15-09-2014 17:59 #12
Mummymaybe - I am a nurse also. IVF is a very specialised area, so even though you may be medically trained it isn't really something you generally deal with
I have had 4 transfers now and he has been to 3 of those. I've had 2 EPU and he has come to both. General scans, blood tests etc he has not come for.
I wonder sometimes if partners feel useless because they are not as actively involved as if a child was conceived naturally?
15-09-2014 20:26 #13
I've done a fair few appts solo. Including traveling interstate for a FET. I've done 4 stim cycles now and am pretty happy just having DH around for EPU. oh and I'd never trust him to inject me
15-09-2014 20:52 #14
Throughout my IVF journey (and this is my 3rd IVF pregnancy), my hubby rarely came to appointments, only the initial consult with the FS, egg pick up and transfer. The appointments with the nurses I just went on my own as there was no need for him to come as he was busy enough with work and traffic is a nightmare for him peak hour as he leaves home in the dark. The one thing I was grateful for was he measured all my injections / trigger etc (as I had no idea) but I did the needle insertion. We never really talked about IVF much either as I just found the whole thing depressing. Have a chat to your DH how you are feeling so he understands. If anything it could be a simple misunderstanding and him being caught up with work that he doesn't realise you need more support.
15-09-2014 21:34 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
My DH was 100% committed but unfortunately due to a new job couldn't be there for transfer. I never doubted his commitment at all as we already had a child and had had 2 ectopic pregnancies and emergency surgeries.
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16-09-2014 04:21 #16
I think it's unrealistic and unnecessary for partners to come to every blood test and ultrasound. EPU is necessary and probably taking the day off if you have another LO. The last ET DH didn't come because of work and after many you realise it's not necessary either if they really can't, especially when most of the time it doesn't work. Don't let IVF make things complicated, you might feel alone but it's just getting the job done and work is more important than them hanging around especially if they have their own business which helps pays for IVF. I do all the injections on my own it's not hard. My DH is also 100% committed.
Last edited by Rachael3; 16-09-2014 at 04:25.
16-09-2014 05:22 #17
DH came to the initial appointments, pickup , and ET but aside from that no involvement. We live too far from the centre plus I was going to all of the scans/tests in the wee hours before then proceeding on to my workplace so it wouldn't have been practical. DH also runs his own business, so every time he went with me it was more money we were losing on top of the huge costs we were paying to actually undergo IVF.
Things that helped me not feel so alone included a quick phone call immediately after each test/scan just to check in and update, also a chat with each other at home about the latest appointment as if usually make notes for discussion later.
It can be a lonely journey but in lieu of having him physically there it helps to find other ways for him to be involved especially if he has a time consuming job. Also do you have any family or friends who can come with you occasionally?
16-09-2014 05:22 #18
Now I feel like I'm complaining about nothing. Oh well thanks for the insight.
16-09-2014 05:29 #19
16-09-2014 05:36 #20
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