So it looks like my hubby is leaving me. I'm 35 weeks. He says he doesn't want to be anywhere near me and wont be coming to the birth because he doesn't want to support me. I don't have many friends or family. Especially ones I would be comfortable with letting into the birth. My hubby is sort of all I have and now I don't even have him. I'm so lonely and depressed right now and I'm so scared of going through the birth on my own. I don't know if I can do it on my own. I just don't know what to do. Would the hospital give me a c section if I asked them? Its not what i want but i don't think i could go naturally with no support. Has anyone had a baby on their own?
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09-09-2014 19:55 #1
lonely and scared
09-09-2014 20:00 #2
Hugs. Dont really have any advice for you sorry but there will be one person who will have some perfect advice for you.
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09-09-2014 20:01 #3
@webby thats awful! Do you have any girlfriends that you would trust to be by your side? What a horrible amount of stress to put you through so close to birth. Do you have a trusted Dr you can talk to?
09-09-2014 20:05 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
What a jerk. Makes me so mad. Im so sorry your going thru this. Where are you located? Id happily come be your support person
Talk to your midwives. Put a call out for a trainee midwife who needs some experience. Id avoid a csection especially if you'll be flying solo.
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09-09-2014 20:15 #5
09-09-2014 20:23 #6
@webby i'm so so sorry. The other girls will be able to give better advice but I read your post and I couldn't just walk on by.
I just wanted to say i'm sorry. I hope your DH will support you in some way - as others have said, at least to have the other children during the birth if he's not going to be there. And the doula idea is great as is the student midwife if you can find one.
Wishing you all the best for the birth of your #3 bubba
09-09-2014 21:08 #7
some good advice here.
what a complete @#$# !!!! to leave you with no one just before your baby is due.
09-09-2014 21:16 #8
lonely and scared
First of all, how heartbreaking, and how selfish of your husband to do this now.
Is this uncharacteristic of him? Do you think he could be fearful about becoming a father? If so, there are support networks available that he might benefit from accessing.
I agree that a Caesar will potentially result in a longer and slower recovery and you may struggle to be as independent as you need. You can give birth alone, I'm sure you can. Your body will take over and your focus will be on this little creature that you nurtured and grown for th past nine months. But otherwise, a doula or friend might be a great support.
There is one hubber that I'm pretty sure gave birth alone but I'm not sure if she is still active. I think her name was @Leahmaree? Hopefully she will find this thread, and sorry in advance if I'm mistaken...
I'm so sorry. Just so sorry. My son was born in the midst of extreme marital turmoil and I never felt I would be able to do it on my own. It's hard work, but I think you'll find you're stronger than you ever imagine...
ETA sorry I forgot you have other children. So it's unlikely that your husband is suddenly fearing parenthood. But if this is uncharacteristic to the point where he can't even support the birth of his child I would be wondering what has triggered it ie could he be in debt, or a gambler, or something? Not sticking up for him, just for me personally knowing the full story would help me reach closure.
Last edited by harvs; 09-09-2014 at 21:40.
09-09-2014 21:33 #9
Oh webby I am very sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation. In terms of labour support you do have options. If you are sure there is no one in you life that you want to ask you can try a private midwife, a student midwife, a doula, student doula or a midwife or social worker at the hospital. Some of these options cost a bit of money but some are free. I feel confident that many women that work in these professions will have a lot of compassion for your situation and would love to help. You might be surprised how quickly and easily you could build a relationship with someone and they will be able to really support you when you bring this little person into the world. There are also some great services that provide postnatal support for women at home after they have their bubs. Kind of like postnatal doulas. This would be at a cost but it might be perfect for you. What state are you in? I can suggest people in WA but if you are somewhere else there might he other hubbers that can suggest someone. Good luck. Xxx
09-09-2014 21:33 #10
Oh I'm just so blown away by his utter callousness towards you, so cold and selfish.
Again, I echo what the other ladies have said, you will be physically limited after a c section, the impact of this would be terrible if you were trying to manage solely on your own.
If you had to, you could absolutely do this on your own, sometimes we just don't have enough faith in our strength and capabilities, if you have to do this you will find the strength, you will!
Lastly, I'm so sorry hun, it's just right up there with the very worst crappiest of things that can happen to you at what is actually the most vulnerable time in your life, I'm embarrassed for him.
Mega hugs and love for you xxxxxx
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