We live in a cul de sac. It is a lovely street with some lovely young families. I have 6 year old twins. On a weekend afternoon we quite often have a drink and a chat while the kids have a play. It is just done outside with minimal fuss and bother. , BYO and very casual. Last weekend it was suggested that all the 6 year olds in the street ( there are 5, and the oldest in the street) might start to come and go as they please to each other's houses on weekends. I have so many problems with this idea and don't feel comfortable with this for many reasons.
1. I value my privacy and hate it when people just drop in. ( i know it would mostly be the kids dropping in, but obviously you could not turn a parent away if they were checking on their child )
2. Our weekends are precious and we enjoy spending it as a family.
3. There are a group of guys next door, who are quite nice but tend to speed in and out of the street.
4. I don't know a family particularly well, so I am not comfortable sending my children to play there alone.
So. can you tell me when you child started going across the road, next door, or down the street by themselves? I am worried that if the rest of the neighbourhood starts my children will want to do it also.
i guess I am wondering if I am being precious.
Your opinions and advice would be appreciated.
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09-09-2014 15:24 #1
What is the norm in your street/ neighbourhood?
09-09-2014 15:31 #2
When I was that age I would come and go to my neighbour's house as I pleased and vice versa. Had known them since I was born, they had 2 kids same age as me. But nowadays I wouldn't let my DD do it. Perhaps that's just because we aren't in that situation anymore?
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09-09-2014 15:35 #3Senior Member
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- May 2014
The street we live in now is mainly elderly couples (but they all seem to be selling and moving one by one and my guess is more families will move in as we have just had a family move in next door) but when grandchildren come and visit there's usually an invite over the fence and the kids tend to just play outside hopping from yard to yard which is fine.
The street we used to live in was very family orientated and there were three families with boys all similar ages and another family with boys slightly younger and they would spend their weekends hopping to and from each other's house which was okay by each of the families...however there was always that initial knock on the door and asking if it was okay to play, so if the boys were doing homework or they were having quiet family time they could just say no and it was accepted.
Ultimately I would love a street full of kids like that, my kids were too young when we lived there for me to be happy for them to be running up and down the street (busy street with people speeding through it) but my kids would get involved when they could, it just meant I was out with them.
I think as long as their rules are in place it could be an awesome childhood for your kids. As long as you can say no when you don't want kids over, and obviously you need to be comfortable with them going in and out of houses and crossing the road etc.
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09-09-2014 16:11 #4Senior Member
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- Sep 2010
Im in a cul de sac also. I dont have kids in my house however all the neighbourhood kids hop from yard and garage all up and down the street as well as playing in the street
I dont allow playing in my backyard due to a pool however I keep my garage pretty kid friendly so I can move the car out and they can have inside toys in there
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09-09-2014 16:20 #5Senior Member
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- Jan 2010
I agree with you, I wouldn't like this.it is a huge responsibility to look after other peoples children if you aren't sure when and where they are. What happens if someone thinks the children are at your place and they have wondered off....nope I think the visits need to be a bit more structured.
09-09-2014 16:46 #6
Op I wouldn't be comfortable at 6 either. It's a tricky situation you're in and I don't have any advise from experience.
Is there any neighbors you are particularly close with that you could talk to? Just thinking it might be good to see how others feel so you're not the odd one ( mean mum)
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09-09-2014 17:01 #7
I haven't read all the replies but for me, I think 6 would be too young. I wouldn't want my boys going to neighbours uninvited and I am not a fan of people randomly knocking on my door.
As it is there is a 4 yr old who does this round out area and I can't stand it! Often I just want peace and quiet and then she comes over and I feel like I have to babysit her. Plus I like my privacy and I wouldn't want my kids turning up on someone else's doorstep uninvited.
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09-09-2014 17:25 #8
Your street sounds amazing OP!!! Can I move in?
I grew up in an apartment block and every day all the kids would play together downstairs from 4-5yo. None of our parents cared much other than yell if the cricket ball broke a window. My brother and I were devastated when we moved to oz and realised that everyone keeps to themselves in their yard.
My aunt has a street like that and my cousins grew up between all the houses. It was amazing. Even now as teenagers they are jumping fences at all hours.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
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10-09-2014 14:13 #9
My kids are around the same ages. We are just as friendly with our neighbours. The kids to pop back and forwards to play - and we always stick our head out to the other mum and say - "i have yours here".
If we are busy or its not convenient I just say no when they bash on the door.
Pretty much they play out the front on their bikes and stuff - and we "supervise" with a glass of wine! We also mind each others kids for short stints or shout out if we are running to the shops for milk etc. Its great - esp as the DH's work long hours etc. Noone wants to pack the kids in the car for milk!
10-09-2014 14:23 #10
I don't have kids yet, so I can't comment on when I did/would do it obviously but, that would be my worst nightmare, for all the reasons you listed. TBH I don't even make friends with my neighbours because I don't want people just "dropping in" to my house - so I'm probably private to the extreme lol.
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