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  1. #1
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    Default Not coping

    I think I might have PND. My baby is 5 months old and my daughter is 2 1/2. I feel so down and anxious all the time. I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to anymore. I have so much anger at my husband and daughter. I yell at my daughter and she seems to really act out when it is just me and the 2 kids alone. Sometimes I feel like I hate her and I feel indifferent to my baby. I've become a monster of a mother and I used to have such a great bond with my daughter. Sometimes my son is crying because he wants me, but I just leave him with his Dad and go into another room to get away, and I don't care that he is upset, I know that he has been fed, so Dad can hold him. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in 2 months, I get woken every 1-2 hours, and now I can't fall back to sleep between feeds even though I am so tired. When I do sleep, I often have nightmares.

    I made appointment to see a Dr tomorrow, but I don't really like the idea of seeing someone about this. MCHNs are so judgemental about parenting, I don't want to be judged over this.

    I wanted to have kids, I now have 2 beautiful people in my life and I feel like I made a mistake. I feel so evil.

  2. #2
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    Don't worry about being judged, you won't be, you are doing the right thing by seeing your GP. Having PND is nothing to be ashamed about, you didn't chose it xx

    You have taken the first step by making an appointment to see someone, it's the hardest one. So many people don't realise they even have PND... I know I didn't.

    Keep posting here and let us know how you go with your GP *hugs* We're always here for support xx

  3. #3
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    Hugs to you. PND is so hard to go through. I recommend talking to PANDA. They are amazing and no judgement. They listen and will support you through this tough time.


    DH & I Married since 2005
    DD1 March 2008
    DD2 April 2009
    DD3 October 2010
    DD4 Due December 2014.

  4. #4
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    oh hun they won't judge you. lots of mothers go thru this. it's the best thing to do for yourself is to make that appt. good luck.

  5. #5
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    Please don't worry about being judged. There is help out there. I always say that PND was the most difficult, stressful, heart breaking time of my life. And if I could go back and do it again, I would have reached out for help. I got through it on my own in the end, but it didn't need to be that hard and that lonely.

    The feelings you are experiencing do not make you evil at all. PND is the evil one

  6. #6
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    Huge hugs to you OP. You've taken a great first step making an appointment with the doctor. In the meantime there's always someone here to listen. Xx


 

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