Lol I've always wondered where the name Bedlover came from! Too funny... I guess your still a Bedlover but just don't get much time together! Lol
The rooms at sleep school were pitch black.. We have covered our windows with garbage bags and it's helped with day sleeps.
Speaking of DH... I could have killed him today.. He was leaving for work said bye then I heard noise on the baby monitor only to see him kissing Mia goodbye (yes cute) but it was a long smootch that woke her! She cracked it when he walked out and he continued out the front door while I was left with a screaming baby!!! OMG!!!!!
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11-12-2014 20:35 #281
11-12-2014 20:39 #282
IVF Babies Due Apr/May/Jun 2014#7
You too Ngaiz. JJ the pitch black seems to be a key. We will get garbage bags on our windows I think.
Oh dear, these husbands throwing spanners in the works. I can't blame them though, they just want to connect and they don't have as many opportunities as us. Having said that DH is very careful to try and keep things consistent. I hope he stays that way.
Last edited by hwaterhouse; 11-12-2014 at 20:43.
11-12-2014 21:38 #283
We use a thing called magic block out blinds. They use static to stick to the windows. Pretty much garbage bag but thicker plastic. I bought it online.
I tried one of those gro anywhere blinds and it was awesome - super dark. Was completely in love with it until it very loudly fell off mid sleep and petrified us all. Baby startled awake is not a good thing!!
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12-12-2014 07:01 #284
I'm gonna kill dh soon!
He did just that this morning Jj and then brought her to me. She wasnt upset though so I said to put her back to bed. So, instead of putting her down and turning on the white noise he grabs her toys and puts them in the cot. Wtf!?!? So, of course, after being woken up 5 times (once by dh at 4:30am trying to get some; who's he kidding, dream on buddy! ) I crack it then I'm told I'm over reacting while he throws her toys across the lounge. I had half an hour left to get some sleep. So I turned on the mobile and we both got another 30mins.
Right now, I want a divorce. I'm not exhausted, and I'm doing OK with the whole situation. It's dh doing idiotic sht that's pssing me off and my frustration is clouding my thinking.
We don't have blackout curtains here but we are doing OK with day sleeps. Yesterday she had 2hrs in the morning and just over an hour in the afternoon UNTIL THE EFFIN DOG WOKE HER UP (about to gut him too).
Gosh I sound grumpy haha
Here's to another day! Bring on the coffee.
12-12-2014 07:52 #285Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Ngaiz these men just don't get it. It's so sweet playing guitar, but get him to do it when she wakes up if you can and make it part of her up time. That way he still feels part of it. Mine has done similar things over the past, like pick her up and bring her to me just as he is about to leave, and then have a laugh about it when I've had a go at him. Grrrr.
this morning I had a similar situation in that V woke at 6 and I'm obviously trying to abide to a strict timeline of waking and feeding at 7. I feel under the pump because I'm back at sleep school tomorrow and I don't want V to fail. Anyway because we stayed at my mums over night, mum went in turned the light on and started picking her up. I've just screached over "noo." But of course it was too late. It took me a while to chill out after that. Poor mum she was just trying to help.
I had blue tacked the sides of the curtains down in her room, which was another tip given, but it didn't seem to work as well so I've now stuck down the garbage bags too.
12-12-2014 07:53 #286
We have roller blinds so i might buy some velcro dots to stick them to the window.
12-12-2014 08:10 #287
They really do mean well. Dh wants to go in every morning to say good bye and I get that, I can't even go get milk without having a kiss and cuddle. He works on heavy diesel engines (20tonne) and he worries that if one slips (doesn't happen very often but it has) while he's under it that he never got kiss us good bye.
I have a surprise for him though just to get him to understand where I'm coming from. Now that I'm pumping, he is doing everything this weekend :-P
12-12-2014 08:47 #288
I think I'm at an advantage with my DH as we fostered 2 girls for 12 months before doing IVF. They were 7 and 10, but the 7 year old had gone into care at around 1 and was very spoiled. We saw the issues this created, and when dealing with both girls DH and I would always agree on an approach and present a united front. It was good practice because it's easier to not give in when they aren't your kids (I hope that doesn't sound bad but it's true). With that background we have fallen back into the same pattern of agreeing how we will parent and doing it together. So I will check with him before making major changes to routine, sleep, feeding etc., and he will check with me if he wants to do something but not sure where she is up to in her routine. If we hadn't fostered it would be quite different I'm sure.
Ngaiz you just sound like someone who isn't getting enough sleep and feels like everything is out of control. I'm sure your husband is feeling stressed too. I hope everything settles down for you all soon xx
Bedlover that magic black out looks great. Thanks for the recommendation
13-12-2014 06:53 #289Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
thank goodness I'm not the only one struggling with sleep and DH just bringing the my little one into our bed. R wakes usually 2-3 times per night and it gets tiring. Last night he went to bed at 8:30pm and woke at 12:30am I feed him and he went back into his bed at 1:10am then he woke at 3:50am and DH bought him into our bed. And there he stayed. Super frustrated as DH kept turning on our light this morning and asking questions as e is going away for the night but irrespective of that he gets up at 4am every morning for work and usually wakes me and or goes into R room and kisses him good bye and the R is usually awake about 10mins after he leaves. The night before he sleepy from 8:30pm to 2:30.am I feed and put him back to bed about 3:10 antigen ge was awake at 4am so DH bought him in to me I had to feed again I think it is a comfort thing. Then put into his bed and he was awake at 5 am and he played in his cot till 5:45 am I get annoyed as DH cannot settle R and gives up after 5 mins sometimes it takes me 30mins or more of rocking , shushing, patting before I get him to sleep. And DH always says feed him as if feeding him us the problems/ solution all the time.
I struggle to resettle R without having to feed him. The last couple of days I have introduced formula at night and afternoon and last night and this morning he was bF. R was 6 months this week and I'm starting to get over it plus I need to get him on the bottle as I will eventually be going back to work and he will start transitional family day care next year.
Have be been referred to karitane and got a place on the 5th of January and when they called me and asked lots if questions they say it is normal that R wakes up about 2 times per night I
13-12-2014 07:26 #290
I'm so sorry to hear so many of you are struggling so much with sleep. I'm someone who really wouldn't cope well with limited sleep so have been very lucky as I just assumed I'd have to cope with it once I was lucky enough to be a mum. I know I get quite snappy and easily frustrated if I'm tired so I can more than understand how this would be impacting your relationships- sounds perfectly normal to me. My hubby is someone who likes to have confirmation that he has made the right decision (when he makes one) so as frustrating as that can be sometimes in everyday life, it's worked out well with having a baby. If he wants to do or try something, he will run it by me first and discuss it and as he knows I'm the one who is with her the most, he often asks what comes next and when.
I think going to sleep school would be hard too Hayley so I'm glad I don't have to go down that path but if I was desperate I would have tried it. It really comes down to what you are comfortable with dealing with and if E is doing alright and you are coping well then maybe it's ok but not for me to say obviously.
One of the ladies on our fb group (sorry I can't think who at the moment) mentioned that you either get a good sleeper or a good feeder and I definitely got a good sleeper rather than feeder. Before I was a mum, I always assumed I'd breastfeed for the best part of the first year and knew there may be some initial pain but I thought it would go pretty smoothly. It took a fair while for my milk to come in and once it did, everything went fine for the first 5 weeks until M started dropping her night feed. She was only feeding 6 times a day from the start but when we dropped her night feed we were still able to fit 6 in but there were probably only 3 days she had a 7th feed ever. Not sure whether the lack of demand (also she was given frequent formula top ups in hospital due to my milk not coming in) affected my supply. I was exclusively breast feeding and she had put on 100g per week at her 6 week check, which wasn't terrible but if it was any lower, I'd hate to think what they would have said. Just after this check she started fussing at the boob and my usually content baby was becoming more and more unsettled. I'm not sure if my supply was dropping or whether I never had a huge supply to begin with and she just put up with it as a new bub but once she grew, she wasn't satisfied. We ended up introducing a formula bottle a day and every few weeks she would fuss again and we'd drop a feed in favour if a formula bottle. We did three breast and three bottles a day for a while, which worked well. It freed me up a bit, she was getting well fed and we were still getting our feeding time together. Eventually at 15 weeks, she fussed again and I persisted until 17 weeks/4 months until I came to the realisation that she would have to be full formula fed. It wasn't working anymore.
When I was exclusively bf, I found it draining so I can't imagine how you are doing Ngaiz (and keeping on top of the housework with limited sleep), I hated the routine of it and the feeling that I couldn't be away for long. When the feeding went pear shaped, it's amazing how sad I felt but I think I mostly felt like I'd failed to provide for her. As time has gone on, I've felt better about it. She is thriving and was gaining an average of 168g at 3mths, I've come to realise that she loves her formula and I'm grateful she takes a bottle with no dramas. She is currently having 4x 180ml bottles a day. She is 6.3kg and will be 6mths old in a week's time.
We introduced solids 3 weeks ago and currently she is up to 3 tablespoons of food an hour after her morning feed. She seems to like everything I feed her and loves banana. I'm a bit lost as to when to introduce a second meal (without dropping any milk, I think 3 bottles at her age would be too small an amount). I was going to ask at her check next week but if any of you ladies who have been doing solids for longer than me can help, I'd appreciate it. Is 3 tablespoons classified as one meal? Is it best to look at introducing a second meal now rather than adding to the first? I'm guessing, I'd just start with a small amount for a second meal (like two teaspoons full and go from there).
I know babies gradually increase their milk feeds as they grow and gain weight but now that we are introducing food, do I still try and give her 120ml per kg or do we just stay with her current in take since she is now having food to supplement? I know she will eventually drop milk feeds in a couple of months too.
Panda, I'm glad to hear that you are seeing some improvement with sleep school. Good luck this weekend!
M was sleeping 9:30-9:30, which was great but made it hard to get out of the house at a decent time in the morning so this week we have tried our luck with switching her straight to an 8pm bed time and decided to put her in her down in her own room in the cot as well. She has been going great and three nights in, it looks like her new sleep time is 8-8, hope I didn't just jinx myself. She sleeps 4-5hrs through the day. She's very much a baby who is happy to be put down just under two hours after waking up.
Dh and I are off to Sydney tonight for the Katy Perry concert and leaving M with my parents for the night. I'm a little nervous but looking forward to it. You should see the list I've written for mum. I've probably gone overboard since she is more than capable but it makes me feel better that I've written it all out for her as to feed and sleep times.
Jay, good luck with this cycle, I hope this one brings you better luck!!
Bedlover, I'm so glad that the mystery behind your bubhub name has been solved, hehe!
Spidery, I hope the formula helps too! It's great that he is taking it. One less thing for you to worry about with returning to work.
Wow what a novel, sorry ladies! So much to catch up on!
Last edited by Annerley; 13-12-2014 at 07:32.
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