Hi all. I know my situation is commonly shared but I am just wondering how you got through the day.
Tomorrow is Father's Day.
Let me give you a heads up...
A once very special day to me. I suppose, I was lucky enough to have a caring Dad for the first 28 years of my life to celebrate this day with (my Dad stopped having anything to do with me for no reason when he left my Mum 3 years ago). For the first FD after that, I celebrated being pregnant with my husband, the second one since then was an absolutely wonderful day as it was my husbands first FD. Since then, my husband has become my ex and I have had to move far away from long time friends and family. Tomorrow, my useless ex, will be coming to spend the day with my baby - parading her around portraying he has made some kind of contribution to her upbringing and, I will be alone. My single friends are spending the day with their Dads and my coupled friends (whom all have children) will be spending the day celebrating with one another. I've been a Mummy and Daddy solely to my little one without help and we spend all of our time together. I know I should do something for myself tomorrow but I spend so much of my time without adult interaction that I am really not looking forward to spending the day solo. What am I supposed to do tomorrow? What are you all doing tomorrow? *sigh*
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06-09-2014 11:19 #1
How did you deal with it?
06-09-2014 11:21 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
My father is OS and my son doesn't see his dad so we are just going out with friends for lunch. I hope you find some way to make the day enjoyable.
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06-09-2014 11:33 #3
Wowsers. I didn't know that about your dad. How awful :-(
It's a rough day here too. I'm planning to sit here alone and muse over the fact my DS will likely grow up without his dad and grandfather, just like I did. It's likely I won't speak to another adult all day. But I will have DS.
My first thought on reading your post is that it's frustrating to witness the falseness of a daddy celebrating Father's Day with a daughter he abandoned, but I believe the truth will come out in the end. Let him have his little fake day to dwell on later when the penny drops. Your DD won't suffer from this. She's too little.
If I were you I'd get up for the day and write down all the negative feelings I was having to dump them, then hit selfish pamper town. Spend money you can't afford on internet shopping. Drink bubbles in the bath. Go to the movies and eat one of those massive boxes of maltesers without sharing. Have a nap. Listen to music. Buy an awesome bunch if flowers or a toolkit or whatever floats your boat. Watch some chick flicks/chick TV. Fck Father's Day - make it JAGDay.
And remember - this day isn't all happiness and sunshine for everyone. For some of us it's an extra
lonely time, but...the sun will still rise and still set, and at the end of the day you have the love and trust of your beautiful DD forever. Hope this helps a little x
06-09-2014 12:00 #4
06-09-2014 12:27 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
I couldn't read this post and not reply. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this - how awful - the stuff with your dad and your ex. I second Harv's advice - go mad on the pampering, do the things you can't do when you have a little one around, go the the hairdressers or the day spa, get a massage, or go dress shopping. I also agree that fakers always get found out in the end.
I hope you have a nice day tomorrow!
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06-09-2014 12:43 #6
06-09-2014 13:45 #7
I am estranged from my own dad and FOB only wants the kids for 2 hours for a *look how I fabulous I am* dinner. I have ensured the kids have homemade cards and a gift for their dad. As I close the door on pickup I will be giving him the invisible bird and briefly note that FOB has no insight into his own poor behaviour. Then i'll probably use the 2 hours to bake, fold laundry and prep for the week. Hugs to you. It sucks when dads suck.
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06-09-2014 14:33 #8
Right! No more sulking. I've planned my day and there's no changing it now. Morning breakfast and coffee at the local country markets followed by a movie (already purchased the ticket so I can't back out). Thanks ladies. Xxx
06-09-2014 15:25 #9
Sounds like a lovely day. Enjoy.
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07-09-2014 10:06 #10
It's just another day OP, that's how I deal with it.
I would have thought DS's Dad would want to spend the day with him, but he isn't coming in until 3pm to take DS to his parents for a couple of hours. As usual, his partner organised their whole day with her family so that DS's dad would not be able yo see DS until later afternoon. She is such a piece of work and seems so dead set on upsetting me, but exDP also needs to step up and hasn't on this occasion. So now DS keeps asking when he is seeing daddy.
But to me, it really is just another day and I don't like fathers/Mother's Day as there's plenty of people out there for whom this day is just upsetting and nothing else. It's all about hallmark really. You're not alone OP. My dad lives just up the road yet never ever drops in to see me/DS. I don't see or hear from him unless I go over there. My half sisters/brothers are in my life and he does lots for them so it adds an extra sting. I won't bother seeing him today.
Big hugs, you're so not alone.
edit: on a related note, I'm the one always encouraging DS to love his dad as he often says he doesn't! (He's only just turned 4 though so is still little). A couple of the other kids said 'DS doesn't have a daddy' when I picked him up from pre-school last week... I said that yes he did! But I wonder what DS had said. So really, it's DS's dad I really feel sorry for as I know he loves DS a great deal but definitely doesn't have the same meaning to DS that I do.
Last edited by Ellewood; 07-09-2014 at 10:11.
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