Not sure if this is the right section but just needed to get a few feelings out.
I'm currently 36 4 weeks pregnant with my first child. My mum passed away on the 20th of August completely unexpectedly and the whole family is rocked - our bubs was her first grandchild and I'm struggling to cope with thoughts she never got to meet him or even know his name.
I'm finding it really hard to be excited about the pregnancy and it physically hurts to go into the nursery and see all the things we'd done that she didn't get to see. I've just gone back to work today (start maternity leave Friday) and it was just do hard to act normal.
I seem to seesaw between feeling numb and overcome with emotion. I'm trying to look after my dad, I've had to take over power of attorney for my nan and don't feel like I've really begun to grieve for my mum. I just want her back so much it hurts.
I'm concerned I just won't have that same level of love and emotion for our son because of how I feel about mum. I just feel guilty for doing anything "normal" when she's not here any more.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 13
01-09-2014 18:51 #1
Life is just stinky at the moment
01-09-2014 19:09 #2
No real advice to offer sorry but massive hugs your way x
01-09-2014 19:16 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Hugs so very sorry for your loss.
I would strongly guess you will get some healing in a way when your bub is born. For me with all my kids it brought home to me that unconditional love a mother has for her child. When your bub is here you may find bittersweet tender moments where you really truly understand completely just how much your mother loved you.
Im not very good with words so I hope that comes across right. Please be sure to take time to allow yourself to go thru the process of grieving.
Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app
01-09-2014 19:58 #4
I am so sorry for your loss
Dont worry about the bonding with your baby. It will come
01-09-2014 20:04 #5
Life is just cruel sometimes isn't it. :-( I'm sure your Mum would be so immensely proud of you. I hope you get some private time to grieve. Hugs. x
01-09-2014 20:35 #6
Oh, I'm just so sorry to hear this. What an awful time for you, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You know, people will understand however you need to behave, if you need time alone, even if you need to be a bit rude, just do what you need to, to get through this tough time. Big big hugs.
01-09-2014 21:14 #7
So sorry about your mum I have seen many messages about how lovely she was, and how missed she will be, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.
Just take each day as it comes after bubs is born, and remember to be kind to yourself and look after YOU so you can be there for the others that need you xxxx
01-09-2014 21:27 #8
I can't offer any advise other than perhaps some counseling will help you through this difficult time.
So many to you.
01-09-2014 21:39 #9
The same situation happened to my best friend. It was very bitter sweet when her DD was born but she has never not been completely in love with her.
It's been about a year and a half and she still has bad days but she can also now smile and think about how beautiful her mum was and all the special memories they shared.
I am so very sorry for your loss and hope all the best for you and your family at this very difficult time.
01-09-2014 21:52 #10
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly many years ago and it is such a devestating blow.
My neice was born 8 weeks after we lost our Dad. It was not such a shock as in your experience but I can tell you that she brought us back to life. There was always the sadness that Dad was gone but my neice was a new focus for all of us.
There will be so many moments of sadness to come your way but there will be joy in your arrival of your little one and there will be some really sh!t moments when you see the other mums with the grandmas helping with the babies wher you are out and about, but you will love him and you will get through this. This pain is so fresh for you now, please don't write off the joy that is coming your way. You are allowed be feel all of the devastation that you are feeling now, but you are also allowed to feel a bit excited to meet your little man.
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and BroadwayPregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Husband VentFamily & Friends
Loan for a businessFamily Finances
Donald Trump / American Politics (renamed)General Chat
IVF babies due June/July/August 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Love to dream-Swaddle Up bagsGeneral Sleeping & Settling Chat
Trying from monthsNon-IVF fertility assistance
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat