Just home from another shopping trip when we've had to leave in a hurry because DS has screamed at the top of his lungs because he hasn't got his own way. I have tried everything I can think of but nothing is working and with DH working away I've got no choice but to take him to the shops occasionally. Anyone have words of wisdom? Or just stories about your tantruming child to make me feel like I'm not the only mum who wants to cry because my child is forever screaming and everyone stares like I'm a terrible parent.
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31-08-2014 15:49 #1
Need some support!
31-08-2014 16:05 #2
You are most certainly not alone and you are not a bad parent!
a little story to make you feel better -about a year ago now, DH was away for the weekend and I had to go to the supermarket. Well halfway through, all 3 kids decided to start up at once. DS3 was only 2 months old and screaming, well because he screamed for his first 4 months straight, DS2 (who was 3 at the time) lost the plot because someone touched him on the back in coles (he has SPD, so his meltdowns include kicking, screaming and throwing his head back etc) and DS1 (who was 5) not wanting to be outdone chucked a tantrum because I said no to chocolate milk.
I ended up abandoning my shopping and was pushing a screaming newborn in the pram, had a screaming DS2 on my hip who was also biting me and DS1 was in my other arm, I was sort of holding him like a sack of flour, because I was out of option. I got the the car, strapped them in and then sat there crying for 5 minutes before driving home. The looks I got were absolutely awful as well as some stupid comments by the people who stared as I struggled.
People stare and shake their heads but just remember they dont know your story. They dont know anything at all about your life. So their judgements dont carry any weight whatsoever.
Sorry you had a rough shopping trip. Xo
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31-08-2014 16:05 #3
Ummm yes, many stories. The last time, I just ignored her, every eye (and rolling ones) were looking at me but I stayed calm - I had to get what I was there for and there was no alternative. Sometimes you just have to be 'that Mum' I have decided...
31-08-2014 16:13 #4Senior Member
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- May 2014
Oh yeah I have soooo been there. I've done the 'walk of shame' with three screaming kids like peanutmonkey...fun times.
This is what I decided when I was going through it. I figured this is the point that parents start bribing their kids with a treat at the end of the trip if they behave. However, it wasn't something I wanted to do particularly, and given my oldest has several allergies it also wasn't easy to do. So I had two options...I could live like a hermit, or I could just get on with it. I decided to just get on with it. I took the pram if I wasn't needing a trolley, even if she walked the whole time (I could just load it up with bags) but it was there if she decided to go in to full on tantrum mode...strap her in the pram and keep going. Yes I would have got looks, except I didn't look. Just kept going. Sure it's inconvenient for other shoppers to hear my child scream, but it was a shopping centre, not a 5 star restaurant so too bad. She learnt quickly enough that tantrums got her nowhere and she stopped.
31-08-2014 16:14 #5
Thanks for sharing
DS does the lying on the floor banging his head on the ground too and he now has a bruise
31-08-2014 16:42 #6
Oh yes I've been there many a time. When DD was 4 we were at the drs and she got sick of waiting. She threw a massive tantrum with all the cliches -ran to the middle of the room and literally threw herself on the floor screaming, kicking, the works. Everyone stared at us - it was impossible not to, and it was mortifying. And I couldn't just up and leave because we were still waiting!
I was so embarrassed I went back and gave the staff a box of chocolates the next day and an apology.
Thank goodness they do eventually grow out of it. (Although even older kids sure do have their moments occasionally.)
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31-08-2014 16:47 #7Senior Member
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31-08-2014 16:49 #8Senior Member
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- May 2011
Dd is 2 and a few months ago lost the plot because we didn't let her go into the abc shop. She kicked, screamed and ended up lying on the floor scooting along on her back whilst hurling abuse at me. I just stood there and watched until she claimed down, nothing I could do. she backed herself into a corner and needed time to calm down. People walked by and starred at me like I was a dreadful mother. It's funny because I always try to give the mother a "I know what your going through look" no one did that day......
Last edited by MrsSS; 31-08-2014 at 16:50. Reason: Auto correct
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31-08-2014 17:57 #9
I hear ya! I dread taking DD out sometimes, especially being 31 weeks pregnant. Today she chucked a tanty because I wouldn't buy her cheese and bacon balls. DH was with me, so he scooped her up and took her out.
She loves going to the shops though! And to be fair sometimes she is fabulous. Yesterday I had to do a grocery shop with DH at work and she hates sitting the trolley - it bribing (strawberries and flowers), getting her to 'help', singing, joking and going as quickly as possible. She was a great help and was lovely.
I hate when people stare at you disapprovingly when you don't cave in to the tantrum. I always think to myself, surely giving in and giving her what she wants is worse than standing firm????
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31-08-2014 19:26 #10
A few years ago my ds had a tantrum at Cole's. Looking around I saw a 'celebrity' children's author tut tutting at me whilst she rolled her eyes. I thought at the time 'well, if you respond in that way, what hope have I got for anyone else understanding this situation?'. Since then I couldn't give a rats. As long as I get my children home safely that's all that counts. I agree with pp. Go early and let them know what to expect.
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