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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    Sounds dodgy!!

    Some other suggestions - could you go to the police for advice? Do you know who she banks with? Could you contact them and advise the situation? Stress that you have no desire for access or to know details of her account but is there any way they could flag large or out-of-character transactions?

    ETA: Try and get a photo of him for future reference. You never know if you might need it.
    Go to the police and say what? My mil is dating someone who I think is 20 years younger (he wouldn't tell me his age when I asked.. How rude!) and no-one in the restaurant spoke to him when we went out to dinner? Because in a nutshell that's all the OP has on him.

    And unless the bank wants to breach privacy legislation they are not going to have a single conversation with the OP or her DH about the bank account (unless that is the MIL has been committed somehow and her son has power of attorney or whatever it's called nowdays).

    I'm not saying the fellow isn't shady. Just that at the moment the OP has absolutely nothing on him and if she kicks up too much of a fuss without more substantial evidence she's only going to make herself look like someone who needs help.

    It's up to the MIL to manage her own life. Unless she is mentally incapable of doing so, which is a whole other kettle of fish.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    We are certainly not treating her like a toddler, as said we have a great relationship and MIL asked us bother our genuine opinion. We were honest with being pushy or condescending.
    I'm not saying you don't have great relationship however I find the 'we support you getting to know him, but not moving in with him" very condascending. Fair enough tell your mil what you think are the risks but let her make up her own mind about what to do, without excess commentary.

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    Thanks ladies.

    Just rang MIL to talk about today and he is there!!

    We have no children so can't use that as a reason.

    We are just being honest, saying we think it's to fast, that he doesn't sound right for her, his stories seem odd.

    She has told him we are doing IVF and he even tried to talk about that. WFT!!
    Oh my gosh what a concerning situation! Maybe you need to be super up front with this dude and let him know that your business is none of his business. Not sure if you can even take him aside and have a quiet word, if you know what I mean??

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    So we spoke to MIL last night and she has given this guy the go ahead to move in today or tomorrow .

    No lease agreement and no talk of charging rent!

    I'm about to call a PI. I think we are in for a very bumpy ride.

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  8. #45
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    From what you have said he does sound dodgy, go with your gut feeling

  9. #46
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    Go with your gut feeling. Hire the detective. You will regret not protecting her. That being said, maybe he is with her for the money but treats her well and she seems happy. I see no harm there.

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    Hopefully this will be a final update to this horrible saga.

    MIL let this guy move in at the start of the week and was oblivious to his strange behaviour. From what she has told me she have given him around $1,000 for various things.

    We used a private investigator who found out lots about this guy. He is as bad as we suspected if not worse. It uncovered many lies and huge financial issues as well as finding 2 other elderly women who this guy has done this to. The previous woman gave him thousands of dollars. This lady spoke with DH and her story is identical to MIL.

    A call to the police proved helpful as they know of him asked his current location to discuss an 'unrelated mater'.

    We gave MIL all of this information and yesterday myself and MIL asked him to leave. Locks have been changed incase he made copies of keys and his number is blocked from MIL phones. He has been informed that any attempts to contact or visit MIL will result in legal action. He threatened to sue us for defamation, I explained to him it isn't defamation if it is true!

    Sadly MIL is heartbroken. She is sad to have lost something she thought was lovely and says she feels humiliated . Hopefully lots of TLC and time will help build her confidence and self esteem back up.


    Thank you all for your suggestions regarding this, it really was a horrible experience but your help made it a little easier.

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  12. #48
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    Oh hun I'm sorry this has happened to your mil.
    But it is good that you followed your gut and we're right.
    You may have saved her a lot of trouble down the track.
    I'm glad that is over for you.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  13. #49
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    That's so scary and your poor MIL. Good on you for trusting your instincts and not letting go of those bad thoughts. Although she's upset now, you have saved your MIL from what could of have been a very stressful and even more upsetting time down the track.

    Can't anyone do something about this guy? He'll just end up doing it to someone else.

  14. #50
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    oh for your poor MIL

    She must be quite devastated. Its so horrible that these people do these things and take advantage of the good nature of others.


    Its good that you found this out, and early enough not to have cost your MIL much money ... still is awful for her.



 

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