I'm so sorry to hear this, how awful
You sound like a really good friend to her though, I'm sure she appreciates it.
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30-08-2014 16:42 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
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30-08-2014 17:01 #12
I'm so sorry. x
Me 👩 36; DF 👨 34
DS 🐢 07/02/97
DD 🐝 27/09/99
DS 🐳 26/04/02
DD 🐞 06/09/06
DD 🐣 Due 03/12/14
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30-08-2014 17:40 #13
I'm very sorry to hear the news. How far away does she live? I find it really hard to always say the right thing over the phone, so you're not the only one there.
One of my best friends had a partial hysterectomy when she was only 21. Granted, it was after a complicated birth with placenta preavia, (sp?) so yes she does have one child. But she was so young, and the relationship with that father ended quite early on and she has had several partners leave her since because they wanted children of their own. Each time, trying to find the right words was always hard.
And of course, there I was, seemingly as fertile as anything- first twins and then another later on and never a complication in my pregnancies to speak of. The guilt was always terrible.
But you will most likely find that since she is your best friend, she will still want to share everything about your baby with you... however it is a conversation that you will need to have with her when you see her- 'I want you to be comfortable with me and the baby, and I want to share everything about him/her with you, but you need to make sure to tell me if it is too much' etc.
As for the immediate, just spend time with her tomorrow (if that is what you end up doing, I know there may have been plans otherwise) and do what you love doing together. Probably drinking wine and eating an antipasto platter is out of the options, but I'm sure you can fill in the gaps. I've always found it's not so much what you say, but just the fact that you are there that helps a person.
The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:
30-08-2014 18:39 #14
Thanks so much girls for your advice and good wishes.
We met for lunch today at our favourite winery. We ate ALL the food. Sat in the sun and talked for a lazy 3 hours.
She is in the phase of making inappropriate jokes about cancer , menopause and hysterectomies. So I just went with it.
I was surprised at how positive she was. But that's her generally.
We talked practical stuff like making wills, taking time off work, our relationships and bub.
I don't expect her to fall apart but will be ready if she does and if this current positivity is her coping mechanism.
There were some tears and I'm happy with that. It adds some authenticity to our conversation which is important to me.
The Following User Says Thank You to TheGooch For This Useful Post:
30-08-2014 19:35 #15
You're a great friend, you're lucky to have each other
30-08-2014 20:48 #16
What a good friend you are! Another idea is to think in terms of what you would want her to do if the situation was reversed...just a thought.
All the best with it and sending you both lots of good vibes.
30-08-2014 20:56 #17
Go and see her right now.
From personal experience, don't have regrets, you might hate yourself later for not going.
30-08-2014 20:57 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
My mum had cancer of the uterus in her early 40 s. She had her kids though. She also had cancer of the lymphatic system . She's still with us nearly 20 years later.
She's lucky she has good friends like you.
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