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  1. #1
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    Default My 3.5yr old is a nightmare!!

    Since she was born, dd was a difficult unsettle baby. Never went with any sort of structured or even any remote 'routine', never fed well on milk infact she hated it. Started solids at 5mths and she was a lot happier. She Barely slept.
    She developed slowly. Didn't crawl untill 12mths. Didn't walk untill 17mths. Wouldn't talk or use any words untill 3. We had speech therapy and crèche seemed to make her progress better. Now she speaks fine.

    Dh is the most gentile calm natured person.
    the last year I've seen him crack because of dd.
    she is strong willed, stubborn, unwilling to listen to anything we say, short temper, and the tantrums can last 1hr to days on end.
    Shes quite anxious, needs to know what's happening all the time. If it's not the way she's like, BOOM! She blows a fuse.

    At at my wits end, I put her in extra day at crèche. So now she goes 3days.
    her carers saw the first of her tantrums and how she behaves. They said she is challenging, that they had to be firm on her. (I have no problem with).
    which relieved me a little because it's not just me who can't deal with dd!

    im taking parenting classes. I just don't know how to handle her. Friends and family say "you think she's bad now wait till she's a teenager......"
    well as unhelpful as that is, I need to nip it in the bud.
    i just have no control over her.

    we sit and talk later on about what made her upset, but it's like talking to a wall. She won't have a bar about talking about her feelings and emotions.

    Everything has has to be negotiated. It's exhausting.
    We will use the park as a behaviour reward and tell her what we expect of her while at the park, and warn her before we are leaving. 1hr later we are still at the park screaming about not getting in the car. If I pick her up she will bite and and scratch and YELL "OWCH STOP HURTING ME I DONT LIKE IT!" In public- makes me feel horrible like I abuse her or something.

    please, what can I do for her?
    Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 24-08-2014 at 15:42.

  2. #2
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    My first child was very "spirited" aka a freakin' nightmare child sent from the devil to torment me and someone recommended a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and I read it cover to cover, sobbing the whole way through. It didn't magically change her behaviour but it definitely helped me to understand her better and gave me some strategies to help her. It might be worth checking to see if your local library has a copy - can't hurt anyway xx

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    Little Miss Muffet  (24-08-2014)

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    Similar to above post, after struggling with a determined, strong-willed toddler I read "peaceful parent, happy kid" by Laura Markham and found it very helpful. At first it seemed too "soft" and I thought she would walk all over me because it's so different from how I was parented but it really worked for us.
    I sympathise with you so my advice is do some research and try changing your methods because your current situation clearly isn't working for your family and I don't believe things will change on their own. Can't hurt to try, right?

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    Little Miss Muffet  (25-08-2014)

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    Subbing
    Last edited by LoCo; 25-08-2014 at 09:22.

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    Have you considered having a developmental check by a Paed?

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    On a completely different note is she on any regular medication...say for asthma etc? My oldest is awful on steroid based medication and nothing worked because it wasn't her, it was the meds. Anyway, I just thought I'd throw it out there. I read Children are People too when she was three and adapted those methods and things got heaps better for us with a new parenting style and changed her meds

  9. #7
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    no advice

    just a few

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    Just left of field but has she been checked to see if she might be ASD?

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    Definitely have her checked out by a development pead for any underlying issues. Hugs mama

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    She has been checked. I've been to gp's and a paed for another opinion. I feel like I'm looking for something that's not there. I feel like I'm looking for reasons or something to blame. Instead I think this is dd. this is who she is and all I can do is try to understand her better and provide as best as I can for her. Buts it's so tiring.

    what is this "spirited child" title? Is that just a nice way of saying "your devil child from hell?!".


 

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