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  1. #1
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    Default How do you cope...

    ... when your dh/dp could possibly have cancer?!

    We are trying to stay positive but the oncologist and dr dont sound overly confident. We are trying not to worry until the biopsy is done and results come back, but at the same time have been told to plan ahead, sort any insurance and legal stuff out etc. They are setting him up for treatment next week when they do the scans and biopsy, treatment wont commence until they know exactly what they are dealing with but from what he has told me and what the oncologist and dr have said they are predicting it to be cancer.

    How the hell can you prepare for this. How the hell can you stay positive.

    I know theres no point in worrying until we know for sure, but at the same time we do need to prepare for the worst and even knowing its a possibility has scared the crap out of us.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  2. #2
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    I have no idea...sorry. But wanted to send you hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this worry. xo

    Sent from my GT-S7500T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
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    I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

    No person experience here but I have previously worked in cancer services as a nurse and I have to say the support you receive will be second to none. I was blown away by how well the families of patients were cared for!

    I know it is not much help but hopefully it will make it just a little easier.

  4. #4
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    I can't offer much practical advice, sorry, but I didn't want to read and run. I am sorry you are going through this.

  5. #5
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    I don't have a lot of practical advice either but I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope the results are clear when you get them next week

  6. #6
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    Thank you for your kind words.

    Its just come as such a shock. He has known for a few weeks but didnt know how to tell me and didnt want me to worry until he knew what the oncologist said. Reading the email from the oncologist is one of the very few times I have seen my dh cry- he is a lot more worried than what he is letting on.

    What makes it even harder is I wont be with him next week. He works interstate and has been seeing a dr there and thats where the biopsy will be done. I wanted to fly up to be with him but he said he no. Another sign he is worried.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  7. #7
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    Not from the experience of a partner but with my mum we found small steps, working towards the next appt or next test. Everything happens fairly quickly initially with a cancer diagnosis and its a lot to take in, don't be surprised if you break down over something that might have seemed so small without this hanging over. There are support services out there, use them as they're simply amazing.

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with such a horrible disease, I can't imagine how much harder it would be for it to be your husband and having young children. Huge hugs.

  8. #8
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    Hugs hun. I will chat to you later.

  9. #9
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    Hugs lil miss. Crossing my fingers for you.

  10. #10
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    Thanks ladies.

    He was texting me last night and actually opened up about how he is feeling. Apparently he had to go and drop a nuke off to one of the boys and the guy commented about how much weight dh has lost- this is a guy who sees dh everyday. So now that other people are beginning to notice, its worried him a bit. He has lost a LOT of weight, even in the 3 weeks since I saw him last there was a massive change. We thought maybe because I dont see him every day its why I noticed it more but now even the people that do see him every day are commenting on it.

    He said his biggest concern is the kids. How they would cope, how it would affect them. And how guilty he feels thinking he may not be there when then they need him. He is usually such a positive person, and always takes the view that everything will be ok. But not this time. He said he is trying to put on a brave face for the kids and I. Ive never seen him like this, and tbh I have no idea what to say or do.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos


 

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