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  1. #11
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    You poor thing such a tough situation.

    DS1 had a febrile seizure when DS2 was 12 months old. Ds2 breastfeeds all night long and we co-sleep. I went to hospital via ambulance with DS1 and he got admitted. DH looked after DS2 and DD. I was up crying half the night with sore exploding boobs, missing my baby and worrying about my bigger baby and DH said DS2 was fine!

  2. #12
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    Oh I always have that mummy guilt about staying in hospital with my daughter. It's so so hard. Big hugs.
    But he will be fine with daddy. And I also think it's good for daddy to feel needed in these situations.
    I hope all is smooth and you are able to relax a bit about it. Hugs.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    Yeah you're his mum but DH is his dad (I presume) and he is just as capable. I always had the 'but I'm their mum' attitude too, but then I realised that really I was doing my DH such a disservice by instantly taking over all those moments because I am 'the mum.' I think it's just an attitude that comes from previous generations.
    There are times when I miss out on things and I am sad for me, but my kids love that their dad is there.
    I do understand your anguish though...my oldest had an asthma attack when I was in my first trimester with my third baby and dealing with ms etc. We agreed it would be better if I stayed home because I needed to eat through the night, and didn't cope with no sleep (would be really ill). I raced up to the hospital as fast as my ms would allow me the next morning and DD was fine without me...she had her dad and that was good enough for her.
    I agree with all of this
    My daughter was due to go to hospital to have some tests we had been waiting months for! It happened to land on the day after I was having surgery (at a different hospital) I felt horrible I wasn't able to be there for dd during all the tests and I just worried about her being in a foreign place, scared, possibly in pain from some of the tests, but DH did an amazing job, he always dose with dd, and it was actually quite nice not going as I know I would have stressed and possibly been more uncomfortable than what dd would have been, my DH is very laid back so dd would have been more at ease with him anyway.
    Plus, dd and I do all this amazing stuff together, we also do all the not so fun stuff together like dr visits, grocery shopping, and it's just "another day" for her.
    But for some reason, when her and her dad do ANYTHING together, it's like the best day in the world for her.
    Even if it's been DH taking her to get a blood test, it's just amazing because she got dad time.
    Bit heartbreaking for me sometimes though!
    I'm sure your DS will be fine

  4. #14
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    I am in this exact situation. My son is getting his adenoids/tonsils out this week and dh will be staying because I am breastfeeding through the night still. I don't feel bad, as ds has a very close bond with his dad and will be just fine. I know that he would prefer me being there as he is a mummy's boy but he will be in great hands with dad.

  5. #15
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    My DS was hospitalised for 6 nights when my DD was 7 weeks old. I stayed at the hospital each night and DD was allowed to stay with me. It was crap. Despite the 'safe sleeping' posters around the hospital I was given a recliner to sleep on with a newborn (no room for portacot). DH came to the hospital first thing in the morning and left last thing at night. It would have been so much easier if he stayed at the hospital and I was the one coming and going but DS was so used to me doing everything for him that an already hideous situation would have been much worse for him if I wasn't there - and he was only 2 years 9 months old. Now that he's used to DH doing a lot more for him (since DD's arrival), he'd be okay.

    I was really anxious that DD would pick something up (a superbug etc!). Hospitals aren't nice places for babies, your little one will be better off at home. I can understand your guilt though but as long as your DS has his dad at night, he'll be fine! Good luck, I know I'd feel guilty too...

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slapmyelbow View Post
    I understand your predicament and the feelings of guilt as a mum but if your DH is capable. Let him do this for his son.
    My daughter spent 6 nights in hospital in isolation when she was 2 due to RSV and my second daughter was only 4 months old at the time and still fully breast fed. It broke my heart to leave my little girl in hospital overnight but her dad camped out with her and never left her side. To this day the bond they have is incredible. Sometimes as mums, we just can't do it all.
    I completely understand how you feel but I think from experience your smallest child needs you more. Once your big boy is home, you can nurture him and spoil him rotten.
    That's so beautiful

  7. #17
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    Thanks all.

    I guess we'll just stay there till late evening , or until he falls asleep and then I'll take my other 2 boys home. And yes, both ds2 and ds3 need me too. Ds3 is obviously totally dependant on me but ds2 would be really upset if he didn't have me around, he still is very much a mummy's boy.. All of them are.

    I'll still be with him pre-post op so I'll still be there.

    I just love him so much, he's my best bud, picks me up when I'm sad so I just want to do the same for him.

    I know it will be ok but it will be a bit tough to leave him at night.

    That's life, I know he'll be ok.

    Thanks for listening.
    Last edited by misho; 20-08-2014 at 22:10.


 

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