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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Taking FOB to mediation. After Advice & needing to vent!

    So, its come to ahead where I need to take FOB to mediation to agree to some things and get a parenting plan that works for both of us in order.

    Basically FOB sees DS one weekend every fortnight & pays $100 in CS a month. He lives at home with his parents, doesnt drive & doesnt pay his way at home (bills/board/groceries). They treat their two adult children like 15 year olds.

    He is refusing to pay more than what is allocated to him by CSA, even though the amount really is a 1 size fits all arrangement, where his personal debt/bills whatever isnt $20k a year! I'd believe it is he want living with his parents! Oh...did I mention he doesnt drive so relys on his parents to do his share of the driving. Which means he has to ask his parents when are they free to drop DS off at our house!

    So, I'm wondering if its fair to write up a budget of what is costs to look after our son (groceries, childcare/kinder, clothes, haircuts, dectors/densist etc) and divide it by 3 (me, my partner & him). I feel I am being fair, it really ****s me that he doesn't pay a cent pretty much towards his son and then says he doesnt have the money to get him a haircut or buy him a booster seat instead of still have his 5 year old in a car seat that he was in when he was born! Oh...but he some how comes up with the money to buy him lego sets each fortnight (the $100 ones!), and expect me to take all the rap he buys him!(I've started telling DS that any toys dad buys him is to stay at his house).

    His dad is so arrogant he believes that everything he thinks is truth and I'm wrong. For eg we had an argument that DS was still in 3 pants and 4 tops when he should be in 4 pants and 5 tops at 5 years of age! His birthday was in may this year (He grew into it before his birthday) and he has only just started buying 1 top a fortnight because he "cant afford to buy in bulk" O.O
    Also, he refuses to let DS wears the runners we have bought him because their "too big", as in have room to grow into them, leaving room for his toes. But he believes that they should be at the end and buy new ones once he grows out....so what we are meant to buy stuff that he will grow out of in a month? WTF!

    Anyway, this is the type of idiot I'm dealing with. HELP ME! how can I come to some sort of agreement at mediation to get him to buy a booster seat for DS instead of having his 5 year old still in a SMALL car seat. How can I get him to see my side of things about the cost of raiding HIS child? My partner is paying ALL DS expenses that his dad should. FOB says hes a good man to be doing it, so why the bloody hell dont you?!

    Lastly, I would like DS to do swimming lessons on saturdays as I work p/t and study fulltime, the only day we have free is saturdays & FOB says he wont be taking him during "his time" because its not what HE (fob) wants to do! I'm going to have to go through all of this because DS wants to do auskick! OMG!!! How can someone be so selfish!

    Has anyone else had to deal with a man-child and met half way? Or will I forever being bending over backwards because hes aa arrogant, selfish & cheap ****?

    ETA-DS tells his dad that the shoes he buys himm hurts his feet so he wants to wear the pair he has at my place, but his dad just tells him to stop being a whinger, even though the shoes are 2 sizes too small!
    Last edited by Pusheen The Cat; 20-08-2014 at 10:13.


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