DF vacuums every day, throws on washing generally every day, takes out the rubbish, irons his own clothes and usually does the kitchen. We parent 50/50. The only thing he refuses to do is fold the washing for some reason lol. He is deadest against it. But he will hang it out and bring it in. I work 2 days a week and study online. He works anywhere between 5-7 days a week
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24-08-2014 12:19 #41
25-08-2014 08:58 #42-
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
Yes he does help. Not every single day but he still helps. He works part time so he's home a lot anyway. He cooks about 3 or 4 nights a week too.
Last edited by MummbearPapabearNCubs; 25-08-2014 at 09:44.
25-08-2014 09:24 #43
I don't see it as 'help', I see it as each doing our share.
We each have our main occupation. Mine is DD, his is his business. On top of that, we each do various household stuff.
-most washing/hanging out/folding/putting away
-DD's bath/bed stuff in the evenings
Other than that, we each do whatever needs to be done when we notice it. More often, I'd notice and do something since I'm occupied less... but it's definitely shared.
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25-08-2014 13:02 #44
Unfortunately I do 99.99% of the household chores and childcare. Dh works but it has been sporadic of late and he's used the days he hasn't worked to socialize. Which then has left me at home (in a suburb that is so new it has no public transport) with a 5 month old.
I will nag and nag him to do anything. He's never touched the bathroom, washing, vacuum cleaner, mop, dishwasher or kitchen in general. The only thing he will do without too much fuss is sterilising after I've washed it all. But this is generally after I've collapsed on the lounge at 10.30pm after being up since 4 am with our ds and have been washing and cleaning and feeding and settling our ds all day.
He won't do the bath routine, he rarely does any feeds and I think he has only ever been alone with our ds for about 3-4 hours since ds was born.
His job finishes at 4 pm, I'm lucky if I get to sit and relax in the evening after cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen and ds's night which can take up to four hours.
Sorry that turned into my own little vent. Unfortunately this is a sore subject in our house.
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25-08-2014 13:14 #45
Big, big hugs!!! That's so not on. Excuse me for being blunt, but he's taking the ****!
I'd take your bub away on a holiday and tell him to clean up the entire house and clothes etc etc. You'd still be doing 100% of bub duties, but at least you would be relaxing on holiday and he would see how much work it is doing a full house full of housework.
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25-08-2014 13:45 #46
25-08-2014 14:13 #47Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
I am a Sahm with 2 young kids. Housework is pretty even here. I must say I prefer to do cleaning/washing it as I'm more efficient at that stuff as I've been doing it for so long.
Dh does the weekly meal plan, grocery shops, mows the lawns, fixes broken stuff, runs the dog and is very hands on with the kids. I can't complain.
We both cook and enjoy cooking. We are foodies.
We both enjoy exercising. Our kids come along to the fun runs/marathons we do.
I love that my 3.5yr old says "mummy runs too like daddy!". She is just starting to notice I don't just look after her and her brother and clean up all day hehehe
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25-08-2014 14:22 #48Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I'm no longer a SAHM but when I was I basically did everything. In saying that, I have a cleaner which. Makes life a lot easier.
Funnily enough now that I'm full time and my DP is only working 3 days a week, he doesn't do much at all unless I specifically tell him. Even down to things like dishes. I just don't think he sees things and he doesn't seem to be able to do anything when DS is around.
When we are both at home, I do nearly everything for my DS but that's mainly my choice as I value the time we do have together. I do most of the cooking because I enjoy it and everything else is split pretty much evenly.
26-08-2014 12:03 #49Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
26-08-2014 14:55 #50
hi freyamum, I agree with the point of lowering your expectations. I had four children under 6years, and my husband was working away quite frequently. When he was away, I did everything, when he was home he did the yard work, and very little of anything else. Every relationship is different, and if yours is having tensions because the fun/ work ratio is not equal or how you want it to be, then you will have to make changes. There should be some sort of 50/50, or at least some Agreement that you both are happy with. We can each have a different agreement, but there needs to be harmony, not resentment. Marie.
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