Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story. It would have been so so scary for you both
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16-08-2014 00:01 #41
16-08-2014 08:36 #42
Thankyou so much for sharing. Amazing what our doctors and nurses can do, makes you so grateful
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18-08-2014 10:59 #43
Day 3 my emotions hit like a tonne of bricks.. I had NEVER heard of the day three blues before, and none of the midwives had mentioned it to me on day one or two! I was a wreck, sobbing constantly, especially at the sound of a newborn crying on the ward. I'd been given a single room in a corner, I think so I was as far from the rest of the action as possible, but I could still hear some things.
I had someone come to collect blood that morning, I was alone and hadn't been told they were coming, and then she started labelling about 15 tubes, no exaggeration! Dr Wu had mentioned the day before when he visited that they would run tests and see if they could find out why I had the abruption, but none of the midwives had given me a heads up that I could expect them that morning. I felt so scared and confused, I had to ask for a midwife to be in the room before she started drawing the blood.. I am normally a very tough, stoic and rational person, so I was quite shocked (but not angry) at myself for being so upset and fragile.
I produced a little colostrum for the very first time that night (so we learnt day three blues = milk coming in soon!), I had been pumping 3-4 hourly and was pretty pleased with myself for having enough to collect. DH had stayed on a fold out bed next to me that night, it is usually not allowed but I had clearly been a mess that day and needed some support, so they went and found a fold out bed for him.
The next morning I managed to walk all the way to the NICU, the furtherest distanced I'd walked since the c-section (the other side of the hospital). DD had a brain scan that morning and it was all clear for any large bleeds, which the doctors seemed really positive about in terms of long term prognosis.
We were asked if we would consent to have DD given a trial drug to attempt to prevent / lessen the effects of chronic lung disease caused by the ventilator, we agonised over the decision because we didn't know what any of it meant, even after the doctors plain english explanations. We eventually decided to allow it and now writing this two years on I often wonder if it was one of the best decisions we ever made as it seemed to have worked!
Day 5 and I have my external stitch removed and get a couple of visitors. I can't quite remember if we had asked for no visitors before that or whether our friends just presumed we needed some time to ourselves, but I didn't have any flurry of visitors that a lot of people who have a baby get, I was left on my own for hours and hours when DH couldn't be there.
DD's checks continued and she had another heart ultrasound which showed the PDA that had been open at birth had closed by itself, another really good sign, which the doctors said between that and the ICC drain now being removed was the combination they were waiting for before trying out a 1mL feed and potentially moving from ventilator to CPAP.
DH and I take a short walk through the hospital grounds and talk about adoption and surrogacy and a whole host of other issues surrounding never wanting to go through this type of experience again, regardless of the result for DD.
Day 6 and I was discharged from hospital in the morning, I sobbed the whole way home, even when I was in my room on the ward there was comfort knowing I was under the same roof as DD and I could visit her as often as I wanted. We didn't go back to the hospital that afternoon as we decided to to rest and sort out some more things - PPL, DH's leave (he took 3 weeks then and another 3 weeks when DD came home), cancelling my next OB appt with my original OB and my bookings for antenatal classes and the hospital, deferring my uni exams etc. It was quite surreal and awkward having to tell everyone that I'd already had the baby and in hindsight should have added that she was alive and in NICU, I think some people may have presumed the outcome wasn't even that good.
Day 7 and we drove in to the hospital in the morning and set up for the day. My expressing is coming along really well and I'm well ahead of what DD needs, the rest is stockpiled in the nursery freezers by the milk nurse.
They try to switch DD from the ventilator to CPAP but it doesn't work and she gets put back on the ventilator.
I guess as I'm now just past the point in this story where I've been discharged from hospital it switches from a 'birth story' to more about 'DD's journey', so let me summarise a few more things that are 'birth story' related as a wrap up.
- It was two weeks before I held DD, she became very fragile and ill with a staph infection and seizures and our early reassurance was taken away from us quite swiftly. I was an emotional wreck and would break down in tears at the sight of a healthy newborn or anything that reminded me of what I should have had. Most staff were reluctant to remove her from the humidicrib but I had one amazing nurse who insisted upon it and finally had a doctor approve it, so a team transferred her on to me for the best half hour of my life. It was an emotional turning point for me, I felt stronger. I want to thank that nurse 1000 times over.
- The emotion of the first hold is absolutely the first hold part of this video: http://www.today.com/parents/dads-po...eet-2D11653418
- I recovered from my c-section quite well, was driving after 3.5 weeks and walking any distance needed. i think the good recover was in part because of the fact I had nothing to lift, not even my baby.
- DD was ventilated for 3 weeks and took over a month to reach 1kg.
- Aside from DH and my mum, the best support I received through the journey was from the mum of the 27 weeker who was opposite DD in the nursery, she was amazing, kind, had three older kids including one prem, and taught me a lot about post-NICU life and being a mother generally. We spoke for hours every single day and I am still in contact with her. A nice mum to speak to who knows what you're going through is the absolute best support.
- I ended up being a freaking dairy cow and was pumping over 1L a day at times, I donated somewhere between 20-30L to the milk bank at KEMH as I had filled the nursery freezer and my own.
- I wasn't able to directly BF DD, we tried and tried and she just couldn't get it, so we kept feeding EBM even after she came home (for 9.5 months in total!).. if I never see a breast pump again it would be too soon..
- DD came home after 102 days in the nursery. She kicked her oxygen only a week or two before that.
- I 'mother-crafted' for two nights before we went home, I got to share a room with her for the first time. I remember the whole time really clearly and got 2 x 2 hour blocks of sleep each night, which I thought was great! I didn't think I'd sleep a wink the whole time!
- Walking out the hospital doors with DD was the most amazing feeling of my life, I felt like I'd robbed a bank and was on the most incredible high.
- I've since started a charity which provides Care Packages to parents of newly born perm babies <1000g at KEMH, containing a 2-bottle cooler for transporting EBM daily in to the hospital, breast pads, hand sanitiser, hand cream, notepad, pen, IV friendly NICU outfit and a few other goodies. I really wanted to give back and remember the worst thing about the early days was having to go to the shops for supplies, I wanted to spare new parents of just a little bit of that. Our Facebook page is at /ParentsofPrems .
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18-08-2014 11:11 #44
Thanks for sharing your story! Your DD is just gorgeous!
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18-08-2014 11:14 #45
Thank you for sharing your story. Your daughter is beautiful and a true fighter x
18-08-2014 11:17 #46
That's such an amazing story. Thank you thank you for sharing. You're little girl looks wonderful! Congratulations on getting through what must have been a really hard time xx
18-08-2014 11:21 #47
Eee your DD is just so precious. It's beautiful to see you doing something so meaningful for the parents of babies in NICU. Sounds like a wonderful charity.
Thanks for sharing your story, it was so very moving.
18-08-2014 11:51 #48
Oh hun that is such an intense story so many tears when they announced your code blue through to happy tears at the very end when you said you felt like you had robbed a bank. So glad you got to take your baby home eventually but I am so sorry for the journey you missed
18-08-2014 12:07 #49Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
Thank you so much for sharing you and your DD's story - it brought back so many memories!
Your little girl is absolute perfection!
18-08-2014 12:16 #50
You're amazing. What a beautiful story. Your DD is adorable.
Me 👩 36; DF 👨 34
DS 🐢 07/02/97
DD 🐝 27/09/99
DS 🐳 26/04/02
DD 🐞 06/09/06
DD 🐣 Due 03/12/14
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