I always thought I wanted one, maybe 2.
The minute DS was born, I knew that was it. The thought of going through pregnancy and birth again was not an option for me. DF came home one day to find me in tears over the fact I may never want to have another child and worried he would be disappointed. He was almost relived because he felt the same, that when DS was born he was happy to have one.
DS is now only 15 months old, but there is no part of me that wants another baby. I love him completely and he was by all means a 'perfect' baby, but I don't want to do it again! I feel our family is complete.
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13-08-2014 20:52 #21
13-08-2014 21:07 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
I've always imagined having two children. After DS was born, I felt the family was still incomplete and knew I still wanted another. I kept all the baby stuff etc.
DD was born in Oct last year and I know I'm done. Two is the number for me. I've given away all my maternity and baby stuff.
I want DH to get the snip but he's reluctant - he'd like another and thinks I will too down the track. He might be right but I'd be looking through rose coloured glasses and forgetting how hard it is. Finding it hard not to wish away DD's babyhood because the chapter is closing for good. But ready to move on too.
13-08-2014 21:23 #23
I always wanted 4, we have 4 and hubby took himself for the snip. If I fell pregnant I would be secretly over the moon but alas 4 periods later and I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.
13-08-2014 21:37 #24
I thought we were done at 3 but when DH was about to book in for the snip I asked him to hold off. Our first 3 were ivf so I didn't think anything would happen. Lo and behold when DS was a little over 2 I discovered I was pregnant.
I just knew there was one more to come.
I can completely understand how after 4 some would keep going back. But I'm 43 and none of my kids sleep well (or at all) for first 2 years so I know we're done. DH had the snip when I was 7 months pregnant.
14-08-2014 05:51 #25
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14-08-2014 10:07 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I only have one and we are trying for a second. I've always said I wanted a huge family but now that I have one and I know what it's like having a baby I can't imagine having more than 2 or 3. Also my SIL has 7 and seeing her try to sort out that many kids makes my head hurt
I think we'll just wait until the next one comes along and see how we feel then. DF wanted to be done having kids before he's 30 so that only leaves us another couple of years and I'm not sure I'd want that small of an age gap.
14-08-2014 10:42 #27
I was an 18 year old when I fell pregnant to my first son and he completely changed my world.
I was scared, alone and taking each day as it came - however I soon realised that being a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Once I had found myself in a stable relationship with someone who loved my baby as much as I did, I couldn't wait to have another and make us the postcard family picture.
All I wanted was to have another baby- and three years later - we did! He was just as beautiful as my first and also completely different in looks and personality.
We discussed at length that we were done but that feeling of wanting hadn't really left me - though I didn't want to admit it - it was like my yearning little secret.
Then a lot of "unexpected" happened. Our first son started showing big behavioural issues at kindy and our second son became very delayed - our lives soon filled up with program's, appointments and pediatricians to educate us on managing them best and investigating the problems core. It was stressful and concerning at the best of times particularly because we were struggling financially and in other areas as well. We pushed through but it kept us way to busy to consider a third
The marriage slowly went downhill (for it's own reasons) and after our fifth year together we decided to split up all of a sudden.
It hit me hard and that wanting of a third child dissipated fast. I became extremely anxious and started having panic attacks when alone at night. Soon those panic attacks turned into nosebleeds and vomiting - which ended in the discovery that I was pregnant to our third child.
After a hugely awkward conversation with my ex we decided to keep the baby and work together as parents. I signed up full time to an administration course with the hopes that I could secure any sort of self sufficiency movement for the future and went about putting my life back together.
7 months later and I walked out if the tafe with a certificate in hand then fell into labour three weeks earlier than expected.
My ex husband moved back in to be close to our sons and we brought home one very beautiful, red haired little elf who my two elder sons promptly began cooing and clucking over.
We reconciled the marriage and went to counselling together and Things became very hectic with three! We have since discovered our ds1 has motor function issues and is a gifted child who becomes frustrated by the combination.- he sees an OT, a pediatrician and a dermatologist for an awful skin condition he has called epidermolysis bullossa. Ds2 has been found to have a language deficiency disorder and likely a mild form of ASD - which we are still investigating.
I became depressed for a while after ds3 and went temporarily on Zoloft and to counselling to help create better coping skills - which I am now doing much better from.
My husband and I eventually split up again in March this year (just before ds3 turned 2) and it was definitely for the best!! I wouldn't consider having anymore because my plate is 100% full
As a single mother with shared custody, it is difficult to balance my kids, looking for work, appointments, paying for daycare and everything else life throws at me. I wouldn't consider more kids even if I found a new partner - although I would date someone who already has kids.
Funnily enough however I am going to be pregnant very shortly for a surrogacy I've been planning over two years. But I think that is very different to having another child of your own!
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14-08-2014 11:21 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I always wanted 2 but didn't feel like we were finished when no 2 came along. I wanted them to have more than 1 sibling.. In a way, I wanted them to have more of a bond tying them together when they got older and we weren't around. I only have 1 sibling and I always felt like I missed out.
So I pushed for no 3 and finally dh agreed.
It's been ruddy hard with 3 and no family to support us. But he fits into our family, he was the missing link.
I'm now done. I don't want to try for a girl, and I don't think my mind or body could cope with a pregnancy or newborn stage. Although I do love kids and if another one came along by accident it would be a blessing.
14-08-2014 11:36 #29
We always said 2 but were open to the idea of 3. Ultimately my health made the decision for us. After having a rotten pregnancy with DD, developing PND then chronic fatigue syndrome, I knew in my heart I could not cope with another. Coming to terms with it has been a process, but I said to DH the other night to book in a vasectomy and now I feel very peaceful about it all.
14-08-2014 11:37 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I'm currently pregnant with no 2 and that's it for us. I just get too sick being pregnant and it takes a toll on me and our relationship. I also think two is enough for me mentally lol! So once I have this darling baby, I'm done.
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