My battle with PND after the birth of my children has forever changed me and my opinion on mental illness. I will freely admit to "being very very close" for a very deep dark moment in my life and for me it wasn't about anything other then stopping the pain. Fortunately, I managed to hold on and survive until the sun came out again... and for anyone that is reading that may be going through this... The sun WILL come out again.. you just have to hang in there.
I am one of the lucky ones that has only been briefly "touched" by depression rather then suffering from it long term. Those that live with it long term or suffer with it on and off for years are hero's with incredible internal strength imo and it saddens me the shame and stigma that surrounds it.
This experience touched me so deeply that I am now studying to become a mental health nurse.
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12-08-2014 19:26 #41
Last edited by RipperRita; 12-08-2014 at 19:29.
12-08-2014 19:40 #42
I have chronic major depression and anxiety. I've been hospitalised twice. Over the years, when getting mental health plans or being admitted into hospital, I've been asked countless times if I had considered suicide. I always thought about the question seriously and answered no. That changed coming up to my second hospital admission in March this year. I was asked the question and have it some thought and I can still remember the exact moment where I thought "sh!t, I have". It was a defining moment for me because, no matter how awful I felt, I always thought, well I'm not suicidal..... but I was, had been many times I the past and if I'm completely honest, I still am some days. I have never made the steps to actually attempt suicide but I have thought about how wonderful it would be to be dead. I've planned my funeral. I've done my will. I've considered options on how to take my own life.
I think, for many people, they don't plan their suicide. They may wake up one day feeling ok and by the end of the day, they're gone.
My depression and anxiety are always there but the big bouts come on very suddenly. I could drop the kids at school, run around doing stuff and by the time I've picked the kids up, is there's this black hole of despair. It can come on suddenly and without a trigger.
I am very fortunate to have a fantastic GP, psychiatrist and have private health so have a wonderful mental health unit at a private hospital here. I also have a massive support network in my friends and family, many of those friends I've never met in real life. With all of that wonderful support, I still have the black hole.
Sorry if that doesn't make any sense, I'm just typing as it comes to me.
12-08-2014 19:47 #43
I come from a family who deny depression and stigmatise mental illness in general and it annoys me no end. My Nanna suffered for years and still goes through bouts if depression and my mother and aunt don't/won't acknowledge it and feel ashamed of it or simply put it down to a weak personality. There have been other family members who have suffered various mental illness types and the same kind of denial happens. I think a big part of the problem is that society stigmatises 'weakness' and rewards mental toughness.
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12-08-2014 19:58 #44
13-08-2014 12:53 #45
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13-08-2014 14:27 #46
13-08-2014 15:09 #47Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
its not something you can recover from without meds, support, psychs etc.
There is so much lack of awareness/stigma that surrounds mental illness
13-08-2014 17:51 #48
This is really great. There's Nothing Selfish About Suicide http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/56725...ushpmg00000063
"People who say that suicide is selfish always reference the survivors. It's selfish to leave children, spouses and other family members behind, so they say. They're not thinking about the survivors, or so they would have us believe. What they don't know is that those very loved ones are the reason many people hang on for just one more day. They do think about the survivors, probably up until the very last moment in many cases. But the soul-crushing depression that envelops them leaves them feeling like there is no alternative. Like the only way to get out is to opt out. And that is a devastating thought to endure.
Until you've stared down that level of depression, until you've lost your soul to a sea of emptiness and darkness... you don't get to make those judgments. You might not understand it, and you are certainly entitled to your own feelings, but making those judgments and spreading that kind of negativity won't help the next person. In fact, it will only hurt others."
Sending you all lots of love x
Last edited by callmedragon22; 13-08-2014 at 17:54.
13-08-2014 18:40 #49
im sorry for all the dear people who have battled mental illness, and for anyone who has lost a loved one. I have lost a cousin, and a number of friends have also taken the final step. there was some program years ago, 'are you ok? . wasn't that supposed to be some way to reach out to anyone who might be at risk? there needs to be more acceptance of mental illness, and all the ways it can impact people. hugs to all, marie.
13-08-2014 20:33 #50
people always say "what about the family left behind?" they have no understanding of the numbness. In the past it was thoughts of my children that kept me alive, but at the bottom I was numb, when asked "what about your children?" I felt nothing, looked the psych in the eye and shrugged. It wasn't that I didn't love them, but I had nothing left and no matter how much I tried simply could not visualise a future for them with me in it. That's the danger time. you feel like you're on death row, it's not a matter of if, but when. When you're very low though is when i've found people avoid asking how you're going, because they're worried about how to handle your answer
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