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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Default Please help!! Feeling desperate

    My DD turned five in June. She's a sweet, caring, clever and friendly girl. She's my first born. I also have a three year old DS.

    There are a few things about her that concern me but two things really worry me and I don't know what to do? She hides when she needs to poo and she won't sit on the toilet!!!

    She won't sit on the toilet at all. She's fully potty trained for wees and dry every night but she still wears nappy's to bed because she's scared not to. When she needs to poo she runs away and hides. She either poos in her pants or we have to put her on the potty.

    We've tried sticker charts, rewards, incentives, talking to her but nothing seems to work.

    We took her to a specialist but I had a bad feeling about him. He didn't really listen to us and prescribed her laxatives.

    I wouldn't be as stressed if she wasn't due to start school next year. What do we do?

    She's never been to pre school.

    I would be so grateful for some advice? I just want to do what's best for my girl.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awww I can feel the love coming from your post.. Maybe try and see another paed but also perhaps a few days in kindy will help. They are experts at toilet training.. And really helped me with my first child as I had no idea where to start. We also bought those little disposable mats that stick to the sheet that they can sleep on and dd felt comfy trying to go to bed with no nappy on (and it was easy to clean up). Is there a specific time she does a poo each day? Could you try no pants or just automatically sit her on the toilet with some books. At 5 I would ditch the potty and stick with the toilet as well. Sorry I haven't got any expert advice.. Only some things you could try.

    Try not to stress, they all develop at their own pace and when it happens at this age it will be quick.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to RipperRita For This Useful Post:

    Ali19  (09-08-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Firstly, I really feel for you and have been in a similar situation, in that our little girl wasn't toilet trained when she went to school. She did have high functioning autism (not that I'm suggesting that your daughter has Autism, so please don't think I am). I was SO worried about her going off to school wearing pull-ups, but no matter how hard we tried to toilet train her, she would resist. The school was amazing - they told me that she wasn't the first child to start school without being toilet trained and she wouldn't be the last, and they told me to just relax and not get stressed about it.

    Fortunately, her Prep classroom was directly opposite the inside visitors' toilet, so they set up a little set of drawers and I supplied pull-ups and wipes. Her aid would just take her to the toilet and she never actually soiled her pull-up at school - just wees. She wore a pair of bike shorts over her pull-ups so that the other children didn't notice, but it was only after she passed away that her teacher told me that the kids knew she wore pull-ups and it was no big deal to them (or her).

    The point of me telling you all this is - please try not to get yourself worked up about it. The school is not legally allowed to turn your daughter away just because she's not toilet trained. I would make an appointment to speak with the Principal and explain the situation and ask him or her what they can put in place to help you and your daughter once she gets to school. There are still six months before she heads off to school, so you may find it all resolves itself by then anyway. Sorry if I haven't been much help, and best of luck

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hi bab, maybe you could rig up an open nappy just under the toilet seat so she could poo onto that? I know some kids are freaking out the dropping into the water thing?
    Preschool / Playgroup or mixing with kids the same age might show her she wants to be a big kid like them and poo in the toilet?
    What's her currency? Is there somewhere she would love to go, favourite present she's been wanting, a promise of a party for her next bday, a favourite dinner eg a pizza party of she poos on the toilet? Frozen doll?? Lol
    I also agree with a PP about weaning off night nappies by putting the protective sheets down for reassurance. Good luck! X


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