I'm not sure if you have seen the recent story doing the rounds about the Australian couple who abandoned one of their biological twins who had Down syndrome.
Would you/have you abandoned a child with a disability, whether it be aborting due to possible disabilities or putting them up for adoption.
I could never do what the Australian couple did, but if it was picked up in an early scan that my child would be born with a severe disability that left them with a horrible state of life, then I would lean towards abortion.
What is your stance?
Please no judgement to the responses in this thread.
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02-08-2014 17:39 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
*Trigger Warning* Would you/have you abandoned a child with disabilities?
02-08-2014 17:42 #2
I honestly don't know how I would cope with having a severely disabled child when I wanted to terminate as I can't fathom being in that situation.
Before our scan with DS, DF and I sat down and spoke about what we would do if we received 'bad' news on the scan. I think we would have seriously considered terminating, but again I don't know as we were never in that situation.
02-08-2014 17:51 #3
I would never abort any child under any circumstances. I would never abandon child. I would choose to die first. This My and my husband personal stance.
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02-08-2014 17:53 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
Gosh it's an awful predicament to be in, and hopefully my comments don't offend anyone.
I have a severely disabled niece and hubby's cousin was also severely disabled (she passed away at 21yo). So whilst we don't know what it's like having a disabled child, we have a vague idea for the amount of work and sacrifices involved.
With our first pregnancy, I don't think we could have aborted. It was like, well if it turned out that way then we will never know any different. We didn't even have any testing done.
But when pregnant with our second we discussed it as it would impact our first born massively and decided we have to seriously consider it more and has all the tests.
Thankfully we never had to have that conversation.
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Lil Rue (03-08-2014)
02-08-2014 17:55 #5
But I also believe that each person has to make their own decisions and do what is right in their heart, so I try not to judge the choices of others.
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02-08-2014 17:56 #6
Yes. I have had a termination. They were monoamniotic twins (very rare as it only occurs in 1% of TWIN pregnancies) and their chance of surviving pregnancy at the time was around 50% because of the kind of twins they were. This is not the reason I terminated. Once they were confirmed as being monoamniotic (this means they shared an amniotic sac as well as a placenta) at 16 weeks, I was referred to the maternal fetal medicine ward at a major Sydney hospital where the risks were explained. I had another ultrasound there done by the perinatologist who found many severe abnormalities and after confirmation of these problems, we decided to terminate.
I didn't have any NT testing for my first pregnancy, but did with my others. Having other children to look after was a huge factor in our decision. Plus having twins with severe special needs if they even survived pregnancy.
So glad we live in a country where we have a choice. If we were living in the country where my husband is from, I would've been forced to continue the pregnancy as abortion is illegal there, unless the mother's life is at risk.
Last edited by BigRedV; 02-08-2014 at 18:00.
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02-08-2014 17:58 #7
I had a scare with DS - NT scan was high risk for downs. I thought at the time that I would terminate if it came back positive - thankfully I never had to make that decision.
Now that I am a mother, I feel that if I ever have another child (unlikely), that I would only consider a termination under the most extreme of circumstances. I would continue a pregnancy if my unborn child had downs.
I would never abandon a child because they were disabled. I don't think many parents would.
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Apple iPhart6 (02-08-2014)
02-08-2014 18:05 #8
what constitutes as abandonment? What if a child was severely severely disabled and needed around the clock medical care that couldn't be dealt with at home and the child needed to go to a facility, is that considered abandonment?
If we are talking about down syndrome, no i wouldn't terminate or abandon.
If we are talking about so disabled/ deformed that their quality of life would be very little. Then i wouldn't continue the pregnancy.
02-08-2014 18:23 #9
No to aborting, no to abandoning. If I was ever worried about caring for any new children I'd get my tubes tied first or dh the snip. This of course is our stance.
02-08-2014 18:35 #10
It depends on the disability. If our baby was born with Down syndrome we would not terminate or abandon.
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