The student midwife or a doula a great idea. I had a student with me for my first birth, and she was so, so helpful- in fact, I kind of forgot DH was there some of the time.
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31-07-2014 15:30 #11Senior Member
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- Mar 2012
Last edited by Gentoo; 31-07-2014 at 15:56.
31-07-2014 21:54 #12
Thanks all. I just don't know how I feel about hiring a doula or a student... im a bit funny like that; if i can't have someone I am familiar with then i tend to rather be alone and do things alone.
I guess when I think about it i pretty well did it alone with DS. DH didn't cope well with the complications I was having and he ended up having to do home to sleep... leaving my all by myself bleeding, terrified... in agony with a horrible midwife that would tell me off for needing to use the toilet! Forcing me to have to just wet the bed. I had to stay strong and pick my battles. I did that all alone... I called DH in the morning to let him know i was going to deliver DS (8 weeks early) and if he wants to at least be here for that to get a move on. But when I think about it ... I was prepared to go through it by myself. DH being there didn't phase me as I had gone through enough alone lol!
I guess i just feel worried because it wasn't easy. Hopefully I'll at least make it to full term this time which will take some of the anxiety out of it.
01-08-2014 07:34 #13
The great thing/s about a student midwife is that you get a chance to know them during the antenatal period, so they're not a stranger on the day. Chances are there will be students floating around anyway, so you may end up with one in the room (depending how big your hospital is). Plus they're free. Don't write it off completely just yet. Have a think and talk to your DH about what you want. Even if it's someone to rub your back, help you remember to breathe etc
01-08-2014 09:26 #14
I don't have any experience with it first hand but my sister has given birth to 5 children and 4 of them without her DH. I was there for 2 and the others she did alone and said it was very calming not having him there trying to soothe her because she found she got aggravated with him when he was there
02-08-2014 07:19 #15
Have you spoken to any friends about taking DS when you go into labour?
I was interstate from all reliable family so had to do this for DD. It felt really strange to need to ask, I was really uncomfortable with it. Not because I didn't trust my friend etc, it just seemed like such a BIG ask of someone who's not family.
My friend was thrilled to be able to help. We organised DD to have a sleepover in the weeks beforehand so it wasn't all strange for her. My friend lived closer to the hospital than to my house so we knew when I went into labour we would meet there. So I had a bag packed for DD as well as my hospital bag.
My friend doesn't have any siblings and had had a planned CS for breech, so it was actually a bit special for her to see a woman in labour etc. Her own child was also thrilled about it all too. I was so surprised at how much of a positive thing it was. I was so anxious about it being such a big favour to ask, but really didn't need to be.
02-08-2014 07:25 #16
I gave birth to ds alone. Dh was with dd who was 20 months. Luckily it was a morning labour. We all went to hospital at 9 am and ds was born at 12.
It was fine and the midwives were fantastic. I preferred going in without dh knowing that my dd was being taken care of. I do think your dh or someone else should drive you though bc subsequent births can happen much faster than the first one. By the time I reached hospital I was already 7cm. Wishing you all the best.
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