My partner and I are expecting our first baby together in January (my first, his second) we have just told his 11 yr old son, who took the news really well and was super excited. Until people started telling him he will get ignored when the baby comes along. We have made sure we try and have him involved in discussions and let him know he's going to be a 'super cool' big brother etc. however this weekend is the first weekend he has stayed over with us since hearing the news, and is now petrified of sleeping on his own. He does sometimes be a bit funny about it, so we let the dog sleep in his room and keep a nightlight on which seems to settle him down. But this time he is much worse!
Could the news of the new baby be causing him to be a troubled sleeper with us now, or could it also be for attention?
I know his mother lets him sleep with her a lot as she is very dependent on him and vice versa. However, I don't believe at 11yrs old he should be moving into our room/bed :/
Could this all be related... What could we do to help him?
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4
25-07-2014 21:17 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
Step son not liking the idea of a new brother or sister.
26-07-2014 07:54 #2
It could definitely be related, he may be feeling insecure and wants to be closer to the two of you.
I agree that letting him sleep in your bed now might create a bad habit because the last thing you are going to want is a mini adult in your bed with a big belly or when you are up and down to a newborn.
I would continue to encourage him to sleep in his own bed. Perhaps either one of you could sit with him for a little while when he goes to bed of a night? It is difficult when 2 houses have 2 different sets of rules.
The Following User Says Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:
26-07-2014 10:29 #3
I feel for you @Bubhubbeginner. DH and I were absolutely freaking out about telling his 13yo son that he was going to have a baby brother. And then freaked about what his mother would tell him about how having a sibling would change everything. In our case, it's worked out OK so far. Although I have noticed there's a bit more sulking going on when he doesn't get his own way.
As soon as we found out I was pregnant, and well before we told SS, we've been very focused on family time on the weekends that we have him so that he feels connected to both of us. And DH is spending lots of one-on-one time with him too, which we plan to have continue once the baby is born.
Definitely continue with him sleeping in his own bedroom. If you start that habit of him in with you it will be a nightmare to break when the baby comes. Maybe read to him right before sleep, so that he gets settled. Or have some kind of other calming bedtime ritual.
Also can your partner talk to his ex and see if there are any other factors at play? Has he gotten worse at her house as well, or is it just at your place?
The Following User Says Thank You to Cat74 For This Useful Post:
26-07-2014 15:38 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
What kind of nasty person would tell a child that he will be ignored when the new baby arrives? Have you talked to him about it, maybe he just needs some reassurance that he won't actually get ignored.
By cskb3 in forum Egg DonationReplies: 0Last Post: 07-07-2014, 23:09
By flyer in forum Egg Donor NeededReplies: 1Last Post: 03-02-2014, 18:11
By sylvia1111 in forum TeenagersReplies: 6Last Post: 30-06-2013, 08:30
Shapland Swim SchoolsSemi private learn to swim classes for a maximum of 3 children in specialized heated teaching pools. Our swim schools ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Situations - ok or not ok?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
What are our chances??pregnancy and babies through IVF
Miracle March TTC and Testing ChatConception & Fertility General Chat
Food supplements for kidsGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Happiness thread.General Chat
Egg Donation in Greece #5Egg Donation
IVF/ICSI/FET/due group March/April/May/June #3When are you due?