More important to who and why? I would never try to classify either DH's or my job as more important.
I work 3 days DH 5, I earn twice as much as DH in my pt role. However we have chosen that DH has this particular job as it is near home and means he can look after DD one day a week and do daycare pick up on the other 2. He could easily earn more, but would be away some nights a week and wouldn't be able to look after DD. In his line of work it is very important that he remains current in his work, therefore he can't really go part time or stop work.
Both our jobs are important for us and our family and neither of us is willing to give up our careers, so we have both comprised (he for a lesser role, me by going part time).
We are both doing what we can, but it isn't a competition as who is more important.
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20-07-2014 21:14 #21
20-07-2014 21:22 #22
I think you've just nailed it.
In typical man way he's viewing it as a competition. But it's not.
Should just be a bit of give and take.
Interestingly... On my first day at work a few weeks ago he put dinner on (slow cooker) and did laundry. (He was working from home). But now me working is such a huge inconvenience. Weird.
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20-07-2014 21:24 #23Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
I really hate when men have the attitude that their job is 'better' or they work 'harder'... It's very degrading & manipulating to me. I often hear it being used when men are looking for excuses not to help out around the home.
As far as I'm concerned, there is no partner that works 'harder' or 'better'. There is no job that is more important. Both of your roles are important, both of your roles contribute to your household income. Sounds like he's being pretty immature & selfish, especially considering he pushed you to get this new job.
20-07-2014 22:29 #24
Perhaps put it to him this way... Who's career/employment prospects will be more negatively impacted by taking a sick day tomorrow?
I'm going to assume he's got plenty of sick leave up his sleeve and a day off will barely be a blip in the radar for his bosses. For you however, it could be the difference between having a job next year or not.
Or should you pull out the "I'm moulding young minds" argument? A teacher's job is so important and in the eyes of your class you not being there could be devastating! (You know, if you promised to make popcorn with them tomorrow. )
21-07-2014 06:22 #25
I think your job is more important at the moment as you're new to it. You need to make a good impression.
I've been working at the same school for 10 years now, so they know my history. I'm in the public sector so have a lot of accrued sick leave, FACS leave and LSL. My husband is self employed, so if the kids are sick, I always take the days off. My husband's hours are not compatible with daycare drop off either (7-5) so I do it all. But my husband would never say that his job is more important, despite the fact he currently earns about 4x the amount I do working part-time.
21-07-2014 06:41 #26
We both work from home currently, so this isn't such an issue, but when we were both going out to work (me part-time, DH full-time), we looked at who's job was most important that day. And that changed from day to day.
Some days my job was more important because I had a particular client coming in, or I knew one of my colleagues wouldn't be there. Some days his job was more important because he had a meeting he needed to be at, or was under the pump to get a report finished. Another really important factor was who had more family care leave accrued.
Honestly, I think given it's day two of a new job for you, that's a complete no-brainer: he needs to stay home.
21-07-2014 11:05 #27-
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Dh works ft and I work pt...for us dh's job is more important not because he is ft but because of his position. My position isn't important and I'm easily replaced if I need to look after a sick child.
21-07-2014 11:11 #28
In our house my husbands job is definitely more important. I work 3 days a week in a very comfortable government job, and it would be awful to lose it, but if I did we would survive. If DH lost his job, we'd be up the creek without a paddle.
So basically any sick days my children have, any early daycare pick ups that need doing etc etc, that's all on me. Mind you, that's also because my job and bosses are far more flexible than his too.
Still, FOR US his job is more important. Still... if you've just got this job, and you're enjoying it, and it's helping, and you have work to get on top of, it is really important for him to give you the time you need to do that. Regardless of which job brings in more money, if you've both got work to do you both need to get it done.
21-07-2014 11:13 #29
oh and sorry yes, I didn't fully read your OP properly and was only answering the "which job is more important" question without context. In this particular instance, when you're brand new to a job, have no sick leave built up, no relationships built with your colleagues etc... most definitely he needs to be the one to stay home this time without sooking.
21-07-2014 17:49 #30
So I did go to work today and DH stayed home and worked and looked after DD. He threw a massive tantrum about it but it's done now and I think he feels a bit sheepish.
Once I get my first pay I'm sure he'll realise that my job is also important. Lol.
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