When I worked PT in a law firm and DH was full time we had a deal that if ine of the kids needed collecting early from day care he did it. The way I saw it I was only there 3 days a week so needed to be really there on those days. He did all pick ups. I took care of the rest on my days away from work. However if one of the kids was sick I stayed home. If they were going to be home for a 2nd day then DH stayed home.
That's how we worked it. Wasn't a perfect system and if either of us had to be in court then it was basically paper rock scissors.
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20-07-2014 18:57 #11
20-07-2014 19:04 #12
Sorry but I think it's completely childish of him to say his job is more important! You're a team, a family, you have joint financial commitments and you both parent. Why does it matter whose job is more important? Or did he use this arguement to trump you today, when you were both home and both needed to get some work done?
I think he needs to grow up tbh
20-07-2014 19:05 #13
I guess if we were to sit and compare my job would be more important. I earn twice as much as my DH, I am advancing in my career and if one of us needed to stay home with our DS full time, it would be DH.
But, I would never tell DH that my job is more important. We are all (hopefully) working in the field we enjoy so that we can provide for our family. AND it's not his fault he is only working part time. It's a decision we made so that DS wasn't in full time care. I would never use this against him because I know our choice is for the benefit of our son.
If either of us lost our jobs we would be in trouble. We are a team.
Also, I take many more days off to care for DS when he is sick than my DH. I am lucky to have carers leave accrued, so I use it. Often doing work from home on those days but I don't mind, my son comes first.
I don't think your DH had any right to say that to you. Hugs OP.
20-07-2014 19:09 #14
20-07-2014 19:12 #15
20-07-2014 19:14 #16
Id say your job is more important.
I work FT and if I need to take a carer day or two I still have another 3-4 days to make up for it. Whereas you wouldn't have that chance.
So I'd say he should suck it up and take the day off.
20-07-2014 19:43 #17
I think his job very important as it brings in the most money. But as some of you said he gets way more accrued leave than me.
Sigh. I don't think it will be resolved.
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20-07-2014 20:00 #18
Haven't read all responses yet but in a way, yours is more "important" at this point in time because you need the extra money and you've only just started. Part time jobs are extremely highly sought after in the current job market, plus you'll need to build up trust with your boss and colleagues before taking a sick day here and there doesn't "look bad". He on the other hand has an established career and I would imagine, lots of sick days up his sleeve.
20-07-2014 20:13 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
I haven't read any responses but just giving you my thoughts. I do everything for my kids during the week because DH says that I 'get' to be at home all week while he works. When I went back to work 3 days between having two kids, I still did everything because my job is 'easier'. This is true but still not fair.
I always took the time off when DS was sick but it didn't happen that often because I can rely on my mum a lot. I think it's harder to be flexible when you're part time because you're only there a few days a week so you really do have to be 'there' for that time. Plus I did most of the drop offs and pick ups (DH did one pick up which he would knock off a bit early to do) so I couldn't really make up any missed time. I feel guilty about being seen to take the p!ss at work, since if I don't get the work done, someone else has to.
So neither is more important but I feel like full time jobs are more flexible in a lot of ways because you can make up for lost time (particularly on the days the part timer is at home).
20-07-2014 20:14 #20
Neither is more important. I work part time, though I am currently on mat leave. My income is just as important to my household as DH's.
Perhaps it is an adjustment for him, but I think it is a little unfair of him to call your job less important!
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