I just want to say I've followed you for a few years. And you are incredible. You show strength, determination and compassion that a lot of people don't have. You are a gorgeous person on the inside and absolutely stunning on the outside.
The man you were seeing is a confused gentleman and as Harvs said, he is broken and hurting. But don't let that be an excuse for him to be an a$$ hole.
You deserve someone who loves you. Not a perfect someone, because they're pretty boring, but someone whose flaws don't hurt you and that you love regardless. And someone who loves you for all of yours. It doesn't sound like this guy is that someone. So smile, wish him well, but don't be his soft place to fall if he spreads his wings and it doesn't work with other people. Don't be his "back up plan". But more importantly, don't let him treat you as if you are. Demand the respect that you deserve, don't wait for him to give it. You are a strong woman and you deserve better than this.
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12-09-2014 10:18 #381Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
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12-09-2014 12:07 #382
Jennaisme - thank you so much for your kind words. I know you are right. I've spoken to a few friends IRL today and they all suggest I steer clear as well. I'm determined not to allow myself to be his sounding board anymore. He has friends and family for that.
I think though this experience has been good in opening me up to the thought of allowing someone in romantically. I'm going to pledge to start going on dates when I'm asked instead of automatically running for the hills.
I know I've said it already - but I'd be lying if I said this hasn't disappointed me a little. It shouldn't be this hard in the beginning as we all know it's just bad timing mixed with a confused person.
He said he'd still like to hear from me ... I don't think that's a good idea so I've deleted his number and all contact info from my phone.
I'm heading out for girls night tonight and I don't want a few drinks to impair my judgement and decision making. My close friend is keen for us to enjoy ourselves with 'possibility'.... So this mummy is letting her hair down tonight!!! (Who knows ... Might start a part 2 with a different leading man!!! Kidding!!)
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12-09-2014 12:33 #383Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
12-09-2014 14:42 #384
Hope you have a fantastic night out tonight!!
12-09-2014 18:26 #385Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
It's not easy going through "man issues" but you will definitely move on to bigger and better things. I know you will think "what is it about me/what could I have done differently/etc" because that's what I would do too. I think he's probably a nice guy but just in a confused, messed up place so trying to work him out is just a waste of your precious thoughts. It sounds like you have some great friends irl so go on and enjoy your night and try shift your focus to something else. While you're not looking someone else will come along
23-09-2014 12:31 #386
Hmmm I'm kicking myself a little today - against my better judgement we spent the weekend together. I struggle to say no when he wants to hang out. There's still no s3xual desire there (even though we have s3x) - I know within my soul I'm spending time with him for the wrong reasons - yet when he invites me to his mates place and wants to chill out and stay over I find myself saying yes ...
What is wrong with me???
23-09-2014 12:52 #387
23-09-2014 12:57 #388
You're only human OP - don't be too hard on yourself. We're complex creatures, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Do you know what you want out of this? If you've resigned yourself to thinking there isn't any hope for a relationship then you may be able to just hang out and have a bit of fun.
If you are hoping for more, I believe you could be in for more heartache. He's just so hot and cold, and that's gotta be hard on you.
He really doesn't know what he's doing, does he?
23-09-2014 13:09 #389
The whole weekend I kept thinking 'what are you doing??!' He kept talking about the next meal (like ... Should we go out for lunch) or what we'd do in the day (he had an appointment with real estate then wanted me to meet him after to go to the gym). I dropped him off on the Sunday morning to pack his things up from where he stays when he doesn't have his kids. He assumed I'd be going there with him but I told him I'd just drop him off and go back to my place as I had washing, etc. to do.
He turned up an hour later and ended up vacuuming my floors!!! He didn't get his kids back until 2pm so stayed with me that whole time. When he was organising the catch up with his mates he asked if I would come - I told him he doesn't need to spend the whole weekend with me and he should just see his mates. He told me he wanted me to come too ... So I did. His friends are awesome - we all get along really well .... But I know I'm going along with spending time together when to be honest I would've been happy folding washing and watching cougar town by myself!!
I feel like of he asks - I struggle to say no. I'm like that with my friends too ... I'm the 'yes' girl :/
23-09-2014 13:29 #390
What happened to this someone else he met?
Don't feel bad. Especially don't feel bad to say no to this guy!
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