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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    I don't have any expectations of other people's events. I understand that other people don't necessarily like my kid as much as I do and I also realise that not everyone is a kid person. It is their right to invite/not invite whoever they want and to be honest I think all this "how dare my child not be invited" to be incredibly childish and self-centred.
    Agreed!

    This thread, and the other one, made me think of a blog about how our kids are not the most important people in the world. I'll try to find it.

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    I don't have any expectations of other people's events. I understand that other people don't necessarily like my kid as much as I do and I also realise that not everyone is a kid person. It is their right to invite/not invite whoever they want and to be honest I think all this "how dare my child not be invited" to be incredibly childish and self-centred.
    I expect my kids to invited because it is the normal in our circle of friends and family. I haven't been invited to a adults only event other a graduation or awards night which to me are different. So it would surprise me if I was. It doesn't mean I would have a hissy fit and act like a child. I would just be shocked. I don't leave young kids with a babysitter. So I just wouldn't go.
    This does not make me rude or childish or self centered.

    Each to their own.



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  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdornedWithCats View Post
    That's your choice? no need to take MY opinion personally.


    There seems to be a lot of people who seem to associate having adult/child-free time with drinking. Particularly at weddings (thread). I dont get that hence my post. Weddings are about celebrating the union of two people...not an excuse to get drunk!

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    I'm not offended by your post at all. I think it's slightly off to assume that people who don't want their kids to go think that it's some sort of p1ss up for them. Most of the time, these occasions are boring as bat sh1t for kids, which is the reason why I wouldn't want to take my kids. I couldn't care less about the alcohol.

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    Yeah I have to say this self centred thing is making me feel a bit prickly. For me, I definitely wouldn't have a hissy if I was invited to an adults only event. However, as I said, for me, those in my close circle know that DS and I are kind of a package deal, through reality and not choice on my part. So, when I said I would feel hurt, it's because that by knowing that, they are essentially making a choice for me not to go and share in their celebration.

    I definitely respect their right to make those choices, and I don't *expect* them not to. If my circumstances were different then I wouldn't have any feelings about it at all. But they're not, unfortunately. I think self centred would be feeling hurt and demanding that I bring my DS, which I would never ever do.

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    I wouldn't expect them to be invited but it would mean I can't attend and would expect them to accept my reasoning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    I don't have any expectations of other people's events. I understand that other people don't necessarily like my kid as much as I do and I also realise that not everyone is a kid person. It is their right to invite/not invite whoever they want and to be honest I think all this "how dare my child not be invited" to be incredibly childish and self-centred.

    We were invited to a wedding when my son was 3 months old, he wasn't specifically invited (mainly because he wasn't born yet when they sent out invites) so I texted the bride and asked if it was ok to bring him or not. She said it was fine, but if she hadn't wanted him there I would have respected that and would most likely would have had to not go since I was still breast feeding him. And I would have been fine with that.
    I completely agree!!

    I also agree that the host then has to accept it without issue if I can't get a sitter and therefore can't attend (in my experience, the vast majority do understand). I just think it's a but selfish to just expect them to accommodate your child. For most of these events, allowing children adds a lot of extra cost for an evening that they don't really get much out of.

    We had kids at our wedding, and it was a great time, but I understand it's not for everyone, nor are some venues appropriate for children.

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    Last edited by xyz987; 22-08-2014 at 06:57.

  11. #78
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    Each to their own but in no way would I "expect" my kid to get invited to a celebration.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Yeah I have to say this self centred thing is making me feel a bit prickly. For me, I definitely wouldn't have a hissy if I was invited to an adults only event. However, as I said, for me, those in my close circle know that DS and I are kind of a package deal, through reality and not choice on my part. So, when I said I would feel hurt, it's because that by knowing that, they are essentially making a choice for me not to go and share in their celebration.

    I definitely respect their right to make those choices, and I don't *expect* them not to. If my circumstances were different then I wouldn't have any feelings about it at all. But they're not, unfortunately. I think self centred would be feeling hurt and demanding that I bring my DS, which I would never ever do.
    I agree with this. Whilst I understand why some ppl choose to have kid free events, I would be saddened if my immediate family and friends invited me to one. If people know me they would realise that dh is rarely there to share the parenting. Yes my mum is available but she already minds my kids each sat so I can work. Luckily for me, my circle wouldn't do that. Only dh's family think kid free events are the norm so we just don't go. We've been invited to a cousins wedding in sept in Ballarat. Kids invited to the ceremony and post wedding brunch but not reception. What am I to do? So I declined. My mil is sad as she wanted to show off her grand kids but I'm not flying them down to let some random babysit them.

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    Nope wouldn't bother me in the slightest. To be honest even if my kids were invited I wouldn't take them.... Unless the birthday was a kids party.


 

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