No to all three.
however, we are very lucky to have my parents and in laws who can babysit. I understand it is more difficult for others who don't have babysitters.
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16-07-2014 11:29 #101
16-07-2014 12:15 #102
Yes my answers would be totally different if we are talking about night time events.
In this case, no, no and no. I believe kids should be in bed by then and love the adult only time.
But if we are talking daytime activities then yes, no, yes.
16-07-2014 12:35 #103-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Birthdays: depends on the type of function.
Depending on whose function it was I may be a tad upset. Whether I would still go depends on a combination of factors. If I was close to the person, availability of babysitter, type of function etc
Eg wedding of a close family member or friend I would still try to go . Engagement party for someone who I didn't really talk to that much maybe not.
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16-07-2014 13:01 #104
Do you expect your children to be invited?
No. Only exceptions would be parents/siblings wedding ceremony or a child's bday party where other children would be attending and mine excluded.
I couldn't care less if they weren't allowed to attend the reception. We are having an adult only party for a 40th next year, I don't think it's appropriate for any children to attend, plus it's at a bar any way. My cousin and I are paying for my mum to fly over from NZ for the weekend to baby sit as we have no one else to look after our kids as we usually do it for each other.
Are you upset if they aren't?
Only if it was the above situation otherwise no.
Would you refuse an invitation if your children could not attend?
Only in the above situation (on principle of my own family values) or if I couldn't find someone to look after her.
16-07-2014 13:30 #105-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
16-07-2014 13:42 #106
No, it wouldn't/doesn't bother me if my son isn't invited. We were the first in our group of friends to have a baby, so there have been plenty of events where he wasn't invited - and to be honest, I wouldn't have expected him to be invited eg to weddings. Other events eg. dinners, BBQs at night etc where we were told we were welcome to bring him - sometimes it means one of us leaves early with him, or maybe one of us doesn't go if it is going to be disruptive to our child. But we have also always been in the fortunate situation to have able and willing grandparents who are happy to babysit at the drop of a hat.
If we couldn't get babysitting organized, then sure I would have to refuse (or politely decline) the invitation. But surely when people organize events, they don't EXPECT everyone else to just be available and attend?
16-07-2014 21:23 #107
No I don't expect them to be invited. But I am pleased and touched when they are.
Where I can, I avoid taking them. But my family live interstate and the list of babysitters is pretty much one and we haven't tested the night time yet
We wouldn't say 'no' to an event if children weren't invited but it may mean one of us miss out. Which makes upsets me a little but that's life.
I've been told I can't take a small baby (4 month old probably breastfed) to a wedding. That upset me and really does make things difficult but I'll organise things because I want to see that person on their big day.
As I know how it feels (and understood how it felt for my parents) I try to make all my events child friendly as possible.
17-07-2014 04:53 #108
Yes I do expect them to be invited but if they aren't then there is always a reason why so I can kind of understand, but if much prefer they were invited.
We have not gone to a cousins wedding because it was no kids (baby's in prams were fine) as there was a pool in the reception venue with tables around it. The wedding was 1.5hrs away and all the family who normally babysit were going to the wedding.
We had to go to BIL's wedding without the kids and got my girlfriend to look after them, but only did it because it was my husbands brother. Anyone not as close and we wouldn't have gone.
We had a child free wedding (before we had living kids) but this was because we had just lost our first son 10 months before, so I was very deeply grieving still. I just wanted to have that one day to be happy about getting married and not have to look at other peoples precious kids thinking 'why can't I have that?' I did hire a babysitter in the hotel though for my girlfriends child who had come from interstate so that she could attend our wedding. I thought it was only fair if I had asked for no kids that I supply a qualified child care worker to mind her child. Plus he had a xbox in the room so he was fine! Haha
17-07-2014 14:42 #109
I just don't understand how people can expect their kids to be invited to formal occasions. It's not appropriate for kids to be at black tie events, nice restaurant meals, bars etc. Those kinds of events are rare for most people but are a privilege of being an adult. Why should your (generic your no one in particular) close family/friends avoid having the opportunity to indulge in these kinds of events because they are close with people who have chosen to have kids? I think it's offensive to assume your friends are deliberately trying to offend/exclude you because they want to enjoy being an adult for a night. In most cases it's not personal I'm sure!
17-07-2014 15:36 #110
I wouldnt get offended by my kids not being invited to events but i would be upset & disappointed that it would mean i couldnt go. I dont even go to events without my dh unless it is a hens night or baby shower! Actually dh did tag along to the end of a hens night i went to once. My sils 30th is this year...it will be big with lots of alcohol for those drinking but will also be kid friendly as half a dozen people in her friends & family have had kids this year including my sil. Great opportunity for the entire family to catch up.
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