wow how awful
I'd be gutted too and would have been very angry with my brother.
Wanting a child free wedding is one thing but a family free wedding?! He is choosing to not invite his own nieces and nephews?
I don't know, I had a child free wedding but all my direct family from 0 to 99yo were invited...
Anyway at the end of the day their wedding their choice but you can chose what will become of your relationship with your brother.
PS does the bride has any nieces and nephews?
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13-07-2014 20:41 #81
13-07-2014 20:57 #82
13-07-2014 21:00 #83
13-07-2014 21:02 #84
Also, last year her cousin was getting married. Her and her brothers were invited to the ceremony only as there were so many cousins they could not afford it. She was very upset and angry and could not believe she was not invited to the reception.
So what did she do? She ran to her granny and cried (literally), telling her how how upset she was she was not invited. And what do you know? Her and my brother proceeded to go to both ceremony and reception. Manipulative?check!
13-07-2014 21:03 #85
If a couple want a child free wedding it's their perogative, but the OP is immediate family, not friends or more distant relo's. I think her brother and SIL are being pretty rude and selfish, and there is no way they could expect her to not be hurt and upset by it.
OP my brothers ex sounds similar, she started to become a real PITA when it came to our family and it came to a head last Xmas when she threatened to not come/fly home every day she was here just because she preferred to stay interstate with her mum and dad (who lived 5 mins from her). I completely get where you're coming from.
I have a strong relationship with my bro and will quite happily ring him up and call him out on it if he is behaving like a ****. We have it out and get back to it. Do you think you could have it out with your bro, tell him exactly how you feel and move past it/find a solution? I hope you can.
I'm sorry that this is happening, I do think it's ridiculous for them to expect you to find babysitters for an interstate wedding and quite frankly, bloody selfish. If my brother did that to me Id be furious. It's no way to treat immediate family. I hope you find a resolution that enables you to move on from it and still have a relationship with your brother.
13-07-2014 21:08 #86
I have never actually been to a wedding where children were invited. Child free weddings seem to be the norm in our family.
This is clearly "the straw that broke the camel's back". OP, most brides are extremely self obsessed leading up to a wedding and many friendships are lost.
I would never consider taking my children to a wedding, but I do think you should try to attend alone if you can & if you can't send a nice letter of congratulations, saying you can't wait to hear about their day & see the photos.
Cutting ties with your brother won't help with him distancing himself, just acknowledge that you won't see him very much & enjoy his presence when he is there. Life changes, one day he may come back to the family, leave the door open for him.
13-07-2014 21:12 #87Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
We're not inviting children to our wedding except our son and our flower girl. We have heaps of nieces and nephews and young cousins, some well behaved and others not, and many of whom would be incredibly bored at a wedding reception. Plus we are on a tight budget and we can't afford to pay $50 for all of them (that would end up being about 20 kids) for a meal that probably won't even get eaten.
Some of them might be well behaved and enjoy the night and eat their meal but we can't invite some and not others because that wouldn't be fair and would upset people more. So, we didn't invite any of them. It doesn't mean that we don't care about our family and it's pretty rude to assume that that's the reason why people don't invite children to weddings.
13-07-2014 21:12 #88
13-07-2014 21:13 #89
2 Xmas' ago we also had a show down which resulted in my mum and him not taking for 8 months as she refused to come over for Xmas lunch OR dinner which meant he didn't either.
13-07-2014 21:17 #90
It's their wedding, their choice. I don't think it's unreasonable at all to have a child free wedding. You may not agree with their choice, but it's not your wedding day. Research and see if there is a babysitting service in the area and enjoy a night out child free!
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