OP I think your issues with your SIL are bigger than the wedding. Part of siblings partnering and marrying often means a re-structuring if family networks and celebrations. It can be hurtful or maybe even bewildering, I don't think it's ever worth cutting ties. I think you will regret cutting your brother out for this if that's what you do. Keep your dignity, stiff upper lip and either go or politely explain your reasons for being unable to attend.
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13-07-2014 19:56 #71
13-07-2014 20:12 #72
Op given the updates, it's even clearer that there's more to this than this wedding.
You cannot control your brother and soon to be SIL's actions. But you can control your own.
If you don't want to leave your children with a stranger - don't.
If you don't agree with a child-free wedding - don't go
If you don't think you owe an apology - then don't apologise
If you believe this is the end of the relationship - that's up to you
Live your beliefs and your life the way you choose.
But... given that you believe you're right, and they clearly believe they're right, nothing is likely to change here. Be sure it's what you want. Because if your hope by texting them was to get them to change their mind, that's unlikely. Or if you expect them to change their mind from here, it's unlikely. Don't be forced into sticking to your "no more relationship" guns, because of what was decided in the heat of the moment.
Good luck Op, you're clearly hurting and it's an awful situation.
13-07-2014 20:13 #73
13-07-2014 20:20 #74Senior Member
- Join Date
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13-07-2014 20:24 #75
I texted them (because he wouldn't answer my call!) informing them that we would not be attending their wedding and why. I was not nasty or name calling but I did let them know how upset I am and what it meant for the future. I do not regret this and largely doubt I will. I am tired of trying. I think I will actually be more at peace with this decision in the long run once I am able to move past today.
You are right about there being more to it than my girls simply not being invited to a wedding. I am hurting very much. It has been an accumulation over the past couple of years and I have tried so very hard with him and his fiancé but enough is enough.
13-07-2014 20:27 #76
If people want a child free wedding, you have three options:
-ask the bride & groom if your kids can come
-get a babysitter or take in turns with your partner to care for your kids throughout the day
It's their wedding and it's not about you!
The only thing I see an issue with is the fact that they had said your kids were invited, then changed their mind without giving you the heads up.
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13-07-2014 20:34 #77
Big hugs op, I can definitely see why you are hurting. After reading the entire post I think you've done the right thing for yourself emotionally in regards to the wedding. I hope for you and your brother that his wife isn't the cause of the end of your relationship.
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13-07-2014 20:35 #78
13-07-2014 20:36 #79
I see nothing wrong with a child free wedding. My sister had one and we hired a babysitter and had a great time. Kids were fine, we had a blast and danced the night away. We wouldn't have had such a great night, and I'm sure the other guests would have either if we would have bought our toddler.
13-07-2014 20:37 #80
We don't go to child free weddings anymore. The ones that do have children are always fabulous and enjoyable.
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