Perhaps if they want to get married in a remote location AND not have kids, they could hire a babysitter or two to entertain the kids while the parents attend the wedding. I know of a few couples who did this on their destination wedding. It meant the kids were on hand for parents who needed to check in on them, but they were entertained and not at risk of "interrupting" any of the grown up celebrations.
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14-07-2014 11:45 #131Senior Member
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- Dec 2013
14-07-2014 11:52 #132
We're only picking and choosing which kids can come to our wedding. Our siblings kids and bridal parties kids are coming and that is it. If I invited every.single child i'd have a school of kids at my wedding and they'd most likely outnumber the adults.
I could never not invited nieces and nephews though. I'd extend the invite and let the parents decide if they wanted to bring them along or not.
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14-07-2014 11:54 #133
Last edited by RipperRita; 14-07-2014 at 11:59.
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14-07-2014 11:55 #134
14-07-2014 12:00 #135Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Weddings really bring out the nastiness in people. I find it sad that people exclude children they are related to from weddings. Kids make life fun, theres nothing I love more than watching the kids break it down on the dance floor! Great memories. Each to their own.
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14-07-2014 12:10 #136
I remember the girls looking at me during our wedding as if I were a princess. They were so cute and by my side all day, wanting to hold my hand or my bouquet.
A DH's young cousin (5yo) actually asked her mum if she could go hug the princess (I was the princess).
Sorry for the off topic.
14-07-2014 12:12 #137
I must live in fairy land. DH and I got married 3.5 weeks ago.
DSD was 'best woman' and I took her out to buy her a dress and accessories a few weeks before. There was never any question of her not being invited or not wanting to come.
I also asked my Dad to walk me down the isle - a tradition that I find repugnant as it represents the father passing the ownership of his daughter to her husband. However, I knew it would make my Dad happy so I did it and I did it happily.
I also had a brother attend who I just cannot stand. Other than family get togethers we never speak to each other and even when we are at family get togethers it is only a polite hello and not much more. If I hadn't invited him my parents would have been upset so I invited him.
I never looked at the wedding as 'it's all about me and DH', it was an opportunity for the family to come together and celebrate our relationship and family.
I get that people might not want children of friends but to not invite nieces and nephews (especially when there are only a nominal number - perhaps a different situation if you had lots of them) seems, well, odd and rude.
14-07-2014 12:18 #138
My DH situation is not something I was comparing to your situation but an example I was giving to show how differently people view weddings and the expectations that come with them. I am not saying my DH is a great guy for putting his feelings aside, I was simply saying that some people don't have feelings regarding these things - that does not make our situation abnormal or wrong it's just different and it is offensive that you have called it that and suggested that this says something about how my BIL feels about my DH. It doesn't they are extremely close, we just value different things.
Lastly I think you do have a right to be upset, I have never said you didn't and I certainly agree with you that your SIL sounds very difficult and the relationship very strained. I feel for you OP but I also think you are doing exactly what you are complaining about with your SIL - threatening not to speak to your brother ever again is manipulative in nature and way over the top imo. I think you could speak to him one on one and really explain how you feel and how much it means to you to have your kids there. I think most people if they heard how much it meant to you would understand and change their mind through knowing its important to you rather than it being a threat.
I'm going to bow out now. Good luck.
14-07-2014 12:28 #139
LMAO at the honour of being invited!!!! Jeebus.
And the tale of the baby that cried while the I do was being said.... I went to a wedding once where a bird screeched loudly throughout the whole ceremony. If only the bride and groom could have specified no birds!
14-07-2014 12:31 #140
OP, how did your daughters feel when you told them they weren't going to wedding?
For me, my nieces would have been heartbroken.
I know it's their wedding day and they can do whatever they like, but I still just don't understand it. Maybe I'm just a softy.
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