A friend recently found out the sex of her 3rd baby and despite having one of each already, she is experiencing a bit of gender disappointment. She shared her feelings with her MIL and was left feeling very guilty. I want to show her that others have gone through the same thing.. Please share your stories if you have experienced this?
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01-07-2014 16:14 #1
Has anyone experienced gender disappointment after already having 1 of each?
01-07-2014 16:26 #2
I experienced it very briefly after finding out our fourth was a boy (already had two girls and a boy), however I was convinced our fifth was a girl and was so looking forward to completing our family with a sweet baby girl that I was completely shattered when I found out I was having another boy.
I would go shopping for clothes, end up with an armful of beautiful girls clothing, realise what I was doing, put it all back and leave empty handed. It was awful. It took until about 35 weeks before I actually bought him anything.
I had been waiting for the 20 week scan to announce my pregnancy and how we would be having a little girl etc, I was so disappointed that I never announced my pregnancy. One of my friends posted something on fb at around the 37 week mark and tagged me and that's how my pregnancy was finally revealed!
We didn't name him for five days because I didn't like any boy names and I was so sad about not getting to use any of the names on my girls list ..
Even now (DS3 is about to turn 2) I look at all of the girls things in the shop and feel huge sadness that I can't buy it. DS barely gets new clothes because I hate all the boys clothes that are out!
Of course I love DS3 and I wouldn't swap him, I just wish he'd brought along a twin sister
Your friend is perfectly able to feel whatever she wants to feel, it is no business of anyone else's.
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01-07-2014 17:00 #3
Yep I did when I found out that my third and final baby was my third boy. I had myself convinced it was a girl (very different pregnancy than with my boys) so it was hard for about a month for me.
I found that thinking of a name I loved and thinking of all the positives of 3 boys helped. I'm 30 weeks now and mostly excited for this baby. I still have moments of sadness that I'll never have a daughter but it is lessening.
Hope your friend is ok
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01-07-2014 17:18 #4Senior Member
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- Apr 2014
Oh I'm so paranoid about this. I desperately want a boy after having my DD.. This is it for us so I feel like I'm going to be disappointed. Subbing!
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01-07-2014 17:52 #5
I didn't have quite the same experience but when having DS2 I was terrified he could be a girl and not a boy! I insisted on finding out the sex at 20 weeks because I knew I would need time to get my head around a girl! I just really desperately wanted 2 boys and couldn't even think abiut the idea of having a girl!
This is now the third time for me and I can honestly say I am 100% relaxed about what I am having and couldn't care less as long as it's healthy and I find it hard to understand why I was so panicked about having a girl! I guess I just had a picture in my head about how things should be? Your friend shouldn't feel guilty! lots of women experience it!
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02-07-2014 09:45 #6
I think it's normal.... we're only human and we just want certain things. I am very fortunate to be having a girl this time round as our first was a boy - so we're having one of each. But i feel if i wasn't having a girl then i might have experienced the gender disappointment. Also my DH would have too as he wanted this one to be a girl soooo bad, even more than i did!
The way I prepared myself for in case No.2 would also be a boy was i just focused on the positives to having a boy. I already have all the clothes! They can play the same sports when they're older etc etc. So i started to day dream about how life might be easier with 2 boys. It really did help me grow on the idea and be happy about the idea.
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