I have no advice but I'll let you know that I'm right there with you... DS is just now 4 months and it's like he's a newborn again! Feeding every 3 hours religiously day and night
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06-07-2014 19:32 #31
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06-07-2014 19:37 #32
My EBF almost 10 mth old finally stopped having a dirty nappy at night around 6 mths. She is far from sleeping through, but it means that mostly she feeds and is straight back to sleep, rather than being too stimulated from the nappy change.
DD has only slept through a handful of times by fluke. Perhaps 5 times? Mostly she gets up 1-3 times at night. Sometimes she can be patted back to sleep. Other times I have to feed her back to sleep. I stopped using a paci overnight as I found she woke up a lot more if she went to sleep with it and it dropped out. I still use one for day naps sometimes. I really stressed over her sleeping through, and thought solids would help (they didn't). Around 6.5 mths of age I realised it was completely unpredictable whether she'd have a good night (1 wake-up), or a bad night (not even sleeping a 2 hr stretch). I just changed my perspective, and am just rolling with it. Fortunately I just have her so I can sleep in a bit if I'm up a lot at night. I couldn't deal with a toddler waking me up in the morning. I know she'll improve one day, I just hope it's soon.
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06-07-2014 19:39 #33
Damn, i had a long post written and my stupid phone ap crashed!
In a nutshell, I wanted to say that its too simple to say that US, UK and Australian culture sets the expectation, but its more the parent who does.
Given it physiologically is possible for babies to sleep through from early on, if a parent knows this and isn't coping with the sleep deprivation, they will seek out how to help their baby do this.
In my instance, I had no concept of how often babies woke or how hard they would be to settle, but I just did not cope. I had borderline PND and was an absolute mess. Not because I had any expectations of what was 'normal' or what should happen, but because for me, I could not cope with a lack of sleep.
So you cant always fob off peoples desire for a baby that sleeps through as purely cultural, but see it for what it is - every baby and parent is different and if a parent really isn't coping and needs a baby to sleep better to feel sane, then they can do this without feeling pressure to do it from,society or someone elses child.
It leads me to ask the question, what if a mother in India presented to their GP with severe PND because mentally she just couldn't cope with being sleep deprived, would the GP just turn her away and tell her she shouldn't feel that way because - its a baby and that's what babies do...?
Genuine question, there. I respect what you say by way of different cultures having different expectations, I just feel there's a lot more to it than culture alone.
06-07-2014 19:51 #34
DS is 2 and never slept from 7 to 7. Yes, he sleeps all night without waking up since he was 1yo but NEVER for 12 consecutive hours. All children are different. Once we adjust our expectations life gets much easier - even sleep deprivation gets easier to deal with
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Little Miss Sunshine (06-07-2014)
06-07-2014 20:00 #35
Next baby I'm gonna be so much more relaxed. I was obsessed with sleeping through and worried why dd wasn't and thought everyone else's were, and I think that's why I struggled do badly as I thought she was "difficult". I did all the "right things"- no sleeping aids, teaching to self settle etc. Now I realise they go through stages and it will get better eventually.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 06-07-2014 at 20:05.
06-07-2014 23:34 #36
I agree everyone deals with sleep deprivation differently. I think on the Raising Children website it said 'most children' will sleep through at 6 months so I just waited for that milestone. I was then so disappointed when in fact her sleep worsened at 6 mths. However then I just sort of got over it - I got over wanting to change her, and I'm just trying to go with the flow.
Re: Allie pallie, I'm also Indian ancestrally (not born there) and perhaps R&A was just trying to say how it is for a lot of sub-continental people. Not a single one of my Indian/Pakistani friends who were born in those countries has a baby that sleeps 7-7, and none of them seem to have any baby sleep the whole night until around age 2 or much older. One of the reasons could be that none of them have their kids sleep in another room, and I've read that may promote night-waking. Interestingly my 'Indian' relatives who were raised here have a 7-7 model, and have their kids sleeping in their own rooms. So sorry OP - completely off topic.
07-07-2014 08:06 #37
An example would be this Saturday just gone. It was my great aunts 65 bday. So guests were roughly half curry and half not. Lots of curry babies and children including mine. Ages ranged 8wks to 7yrs. NO Caucasian children. Party finished at 11pm. Some of the kids were asleep in laps or prams. Others werent. No one cared. This is normal. If I didn't take my kids I would have had the third degree from my folks. And I didn't see my kids for most of the 4hrs. They were cuddled and played with by all the other rellies.
Another cultural example is TT. My folks thought my kids were mentally disabled cos they weren't TT from 12 mths old. By Australian standards my kids are TT early 18 ish mths but by my mums standards I'm an awful mum.
So @Allie Pallie that's why I asked why the OP wants her kid to sleep 7-7.
And I agree with Pyjami. People raised here will do things more the norm here than their cultural norm.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
07-07-2014 08:08 #38
07-07-2014 11:43 #39
Omg R&A, I know what you mean, my curry dinner parties for all families that have kids, in my circle mostly SAHMs, start at 8pm!!! If I'm hosting I try and ask ppl to come at 6.30-7, but if we're going to a friends' we are never served food before 8. Weekly occurrence! Not dinners for occasions, just get-togethers. Cray cray.
07-07-2014 14:45 #40
By Lolakitty in forum Babies (7 - 12 months)Replies: 19Last Post: 16-02-2014, 18:53
By MrsHoward in forum General Sleeping & Settling ChatReplies: 16Last Post: 25-09-2013, 07:41
By CleverClogs in forum General ChatReplies: 17Last Post: 11-09-2013, 23:16
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