I definitely agree it depends on the situation and the family.
I have a 6yr old, an almost 4yr old and a 1yr old. My middle som has extra needs and is extremely demanding and after a meeting with DS1's teacher last week we're now exploring the possibility of DS1 having SPD as well. My husband leaves for work between 4:30and 5am, but he is home at 4pm. I am up at night with our middle son every single night, my DS1 sleep walks most nights and night terrors...my 'job' as a SAHM isnt easy. I dont get to just go to lunch with a friend, go shopping or do whatever I want easily. I have limited contact with adults in person because my son doesnt always cope. I want to work but its in the best interest of our son for one of us to be home and DH earns more.
He has a pretty physical job but it is a job he absolutely loves. He has mates he works with, he gets to ride his motorbike to and from work which he loves.
So it works for us. It is necessary for me for him to help out. But I definitely understand not all families are the same as us.
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29-06-2014 10:44 #21
29-06-2014 10:47 #22
29-06-2014 10:50 #23
We both work full time but when one of us is off work for more than a few days the one staying home does most of the chores.
If I'm at home I find it easy to find the time to do housework and make dinner. I would never expect DP to come home and cook dinner if I've been at home all day.
As it is though, DP does most of the cooking when we both work. He's a tradie, but having a physical job doesn't hinder him and he never uses it as an excuse to not do housework.
DP definitely does his fair share of housework, and is a bit of a neat freak so he never leaves stuff lying around. In fact he's the one getting on my case if I leave anything lying around!
29-06-2014 11:43 #24
My DH worked 2x12 hour days shifts followed by2x12 hour night shifts. Then he would have4 days off. I worked 25 hrs a fortnight and even when I wasn't working I expected him to help out- a lot, with both the kids and around the House. He would clean the kitchen every night and do the bathrooms, he was also very hands on with the kids. He also hid things like mopping and vacuuming etc.
I don't believe in one parent doing everything I think it just causes resentment and arguments. I don't know how many times I have asked him to turn his clothes in the right way before putting them into the clothes baskets. If he doesn't do it they get washed hung out and folded the way he leaves them. It annoys him but why should I have to do it when I've asked him so many times?
I think things should be fair and that's the only way it would work in my house.
29-06-2014 11:50 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
I'm a full time SAHM but do paperwork for our business from home too! I do the majority of household jobs during the day but DH will often pick up the vacuum when he gets home, he does dishes when he's around, tidies up etc! We also do spring cleaning together on the weekends etc! He understands that the life of a SAHM is hectic and he doesn't expect me to do everything!!
29-06-2014 14:47 #26
We both work but I only work part time.
I do a lot of the house stuff during the day with the kids, I grocery shop and cook most of the meals. But once DH is home it is 50/50 until the kids are in bed.
29-06-2014 15:05 #27
We both just look at what has to be done and do it. If DH is at work and washing needs to be done I do it. If its weekend and I'm out shopping he will look at what needs to be done and do it. So i guess whoever has available time to do the housework does it.
29-06-2014 15:10 #28
We don't do a fair division of labour in our household, we just do what we need to do.
I definitely do more housework because I am home with the kids more... But as soon as dh walks in he pitches in and helps with dinner, bath and bed routine.
On days when the kids have broken me or I'm feeling a bit raw and defeated I quietly retreat to my room and close the door or go out for late night shopping and leave ALL the dinner, bath, bed routine to dh because I feel my sanity depends on it.
It's not for everyone and I'm sure many couple's would feel it unfair that dh works all day then comes home and takes over for me. We work as a team and I know I am lucky that dh picks up the slack when my coping skills are down. I do the same for him whenever I can.
29-06-2014 15:22 #29
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29-06-2014 15:25 #30
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