I hear you. When we did our hospital tour, one of the dads said in the lift to the group afterwards "Good luck to all the mums" and another replied "and the Dads"... Then I said "and the partners".
DP hugged me when we walked out and said thanks for standing up for her.
On another note, we did the calm birth course which I must admit was very inclusive. The lady running it always referred to the partners as our 'support people' or 'other parent'. There was also a single woman in the class who she was also very inclusive of. If only more places were like that!
What's the demographic like where you both live @Chekry?
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20-03-2016 06:21 #151
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20-03-2016 07:13 #152
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We had the same thing when I was having DS, and we were in the gay capital of Sydney! (One of them anyway). Was pretty disappointed and the whole thing was a load of crap to be honest, we wouldn't bother doing it again knowing what we know now!
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20-03-2016 14:15 #153
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21-03-2016 08:05 #154
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It's kind of a melting pot where we live. I think that using the phrase support person makes so much more sense! 😀
We made sure to put a note of their feedback form that they should be more inclusive in their wording!
37 weeks today! Sometime in the next 5 weeks we will have a baby! Sometimes it's still so surreal!
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21-03-2016 08:40 #155
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Yep we had the same just over the Qld border from NSW but it was even worse because at one stage the reference was to 'husbands'!! Not even just 'Dads' and 'guys' or even 'partners'. We both felt flat as a tack after those classes for that reason but also because they basically said your life would be over and you would never have any time to yourself again!
We did feed this back to the NUM about the classes and hoped that we didn't come across the chick that took the classes when we were in labour, and we didn't so that was lucky!
Good luck all who are on the verge...
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21-03-2016 13:51 #156
We are on the Gold Coast and our pre natal class and hospital experience was the complete opposite. Our class was accomadating to relationship type always referring to everyone as partners or support person. At the hospital for the birth of both of our boys not once did a nurse or dr call my partner/sister/aunty or friend, no one was shocked by our relationship and my partner was included in all the decisions.
We went private so I wonder whether that plays a part and if they are a little more customer service orientated.
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almai (21-03-2016)
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21-03-2016 14:51 #157
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That's great that you had a positive experience. We went private too and for the most part the midwives and certainly our obstetrician were great, it was just the antenatal education that wasn't very inclusive and the educator lacked the ability to tailor the group to the class. There was a single mum with a friend and a girl there with her mum as her husband was too squeamish to go, but they weren't included n the references to 'husbands' and breaking up in to 'boys and girls' groups either...
maybe if there is a next time things will be different but our son was only born in 2014 so its not that long ago.
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21-03-2016 15:38 #158
You would think by now things would have changed but I guess it depends on a number of things; being in the city vs country and whether the midwife/educator is old school or stuck in their ways. Our kids were born 2013 and 2015, I hope your next experience is a lot better 😀
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21-03-2016 17:31 #159
Just adding my two cents - our classes were great at Redlands (brisbane) in 2013. The midwife even said that we were the lucky couple because we could both breastfeed if we wanted to. Not that we wanted to do that but it was nice of her to acknowledge us.
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21-03-2016 22:49 #160
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This made me think of the experiences we've been sharing. ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1458560977.836074.jpg
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