I'm only 21 and just found out I'm pregnant, partner does not want to stay if I keep it. So I just wanted some feedback, if you are a single mum, how did you cope financially, emotionally, physically ect. I only have a casual job so I'm not financially stable. My family is supportive and will help any way they can but there's only so much they can do. Did you work and send your child to daycare? Did you stay at home and receive payments? I'd like to know it all, the really bad and the really good
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
25-06-2014 10:07 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2014
25-06-2014 10:11 #2
personally id ditch him regardless of what you do.you might only be casual but make some discrete inquiries into your companies paid maternity leave if they have it. My employer i think pays casuals an amount after averaging their hours over a period of time. Id also head into centrelink and look into what they can do as far a single parent payment etc, there are other things that may apply like rent assistance too. Good luck
The Following User Says Thank You to mkj For This Useful Post:
25-06-2014 14:00 #3
I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant, 21 when I had DS.
It's hard. It wasn't preferable, and it's a personal choice what decision you make. Once I had made the decision that I was going through with it- there was no turning back for me.
I continued working til 2 weeks before I had DS. I didn't do much outside of work- just buy baby items and save. I stayed with my parents, and then when DS was 4 months old- I went to tafe. I put DS in childcare and studied Accounting part time through tafe and Uni for 8 years and worked full time for about 7.5 of those years.
Now- I'm house-sharing with family and still working full time. I have more study to do but I'm taking a break for the moment. Overall, we are doing very well. They're are def tough times but you get through them. Have as little contracts as you possibly can- no loans, no foxtel- get prepaid etc etc etc. Buy a bum car, but one you don't have to take a loan out on. Realise that that car is your ticket to freedom so it's maintainance comes before a night at the movies and get creative. A movie, some popcorn, homemade pizza and it's a party!
DS Dad isn't in the picture for us. I wanted it that way. He wasn't going to be any good to DS- not supportive physically, financially, mentally or emotionally- he'd be a drain on DS and I so I told him not to come back and we haven't looked back.
Good luck. Either way you go- find that inner strength and stick to your convictions.
28-06-2014 17:57 #4
I was 37, 6 months pregnant with a 5 year old when I became a single mum so we are in very different situations. If I was in your position I would plan for the future now. Sit down with someone, look at your goals (study, career, business, owning a home, travel etc). Just because you have a baby or a baby when you are young doesn't mean to say these are unachievable- it's just you have to plan more. What were your career plans before you became a mum? Did you want to travel? Where to? Is it important to own your own home? I think there is time after you have a baby to enjoy the bonding time but then you have to work on your life plan. Whilst I can imagine this is a difficult and unsettling time, there are so many positives to this. You just need to decide what you want and begin planning how to get there.
28-06-2014 18:16 #5
I was 23 when I had my first and was a single parent from DS birth.
I survived on SPP in the early days. It was tough and I remember being so poor. When DS got a bit older, I was able to get back to work full time and this improved our quality of life in a big way. Even with full time daycare costs, we were financially better off.
It's not easy but it's not a decision I will ever regret. DS and I have an amazing bond because it was just us for so long. Those moments were some of the happiest times of my life.
Good luck xo
28-06-2014 18:17 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
I was 32 when I became pregnant , I had nearly finished my nursing degree. I worked up until just before ds birth, moved in with mum and completed my degree when ds was one. I began working again then. We moved out when ds was 18 months old. It is hard but so worth it, once you have your little one in your arms you will do anything for them. You won't look back.
By Hanbxx in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 6Last Post: 25-06-2014, 10:19
By RuffledPansy in forum General ChatReplies: 0Last Post: 31-03-2014, 11:47
By Blackmilk in forum General ChatReplies: 7Last Post: 23-12-2013, 23:02
TribalanceTriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Food supplements for kidsGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Am I the only thread killer??General Chat
Seeking advice on more kidsGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Falling pregnant a few months after giving birthGeneral Chat
Maternity Leave- HELP ME UNDERSTAND!General Chat
IVF/ICSI/FET/due group March/April/May/June #3When are you due?