Firstly, anyone who knows me around here knows my stance on all things feminist. I don't buy into the sexualisation of anyone. I stand up for individuality. Kids should be free to be who they are, regardless. I'm a support of equality in all forms. That everyone is perfect who they are no matter what.
Having said that. It's hair. It's one part of you that you can do whatever you like, and eventually it grows out/can be cut off/grow back. So, yes. I think it's perfectly okay to let your 4yo dye their hair *depending on the reasoning*.
If your kid is all like "hey, I hate my hair, I hate the colour, I'm being teased about it at school, it's awful" etc etc then no, you're not going to let your kid dye their hair, because the underlying issue is with self confidence, bullying and body image issues. Allowing them to dye their hair unquestionably in that situation is not the right thing to do and it sends the message that it's okay to change who you are for those reasons.
However, if your kid comes to you and is like "yo, I reckon it would be AWESOME if I had red hair. Can I have red hair? That would be AWESOME! Pleeease It would be sooooooo COOL!" then I'd be like, well, y'know kid, it doesn't wash out. You'll have to have red hair for weeks, maybe even months until it washes out or grows out or you put another dye on it. Dying your hair also could mean it's not as soft and lovely anymore because it's not good for you hair. If they continued to pester, then sure as heck I'd dye their hair if it made them happy because they thought it would be awesome
Srsly. People pierce their BABIES EARS, dying a 4 year old's hair has nothing on that, despite the fact that it's less socially acceptable. That's it. It's socially acceptable to let your child have pierced ears, but not to dye their hair. I think that's stupid. So yes, if it was simply a cosmetic fun thing, and not one of the reasons I first listed, then yes. I'd dye my kids hair
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24-06-2014 15:31 #21
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24-06-2014 15:32 #22
Hell no. The "I explained chemicals" to my 4 year old crap is on par with "my two year old was asking for earrings so I got her ears pierced" argument, IMO.
24-06-2014 15:32 #23
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24-06-2014 15:35 #24
My daughter is 6, I've put food colour in her hair! So far only pink! Only on school holidays! It washes out within 2 days! My neighbour on the other hand has put fudge in her daughters hair, it was bright red!
24-06-2014 15:54 #25
I was waiting for the ear piercing comparison to be made. I'll just go get my popcorn....
24-06-2014 15:58 #26
Then again I might be a giant hypocrite because if my 3 year old DD sees me painting my nails she begs me to paint hers and I do it. I don't know, there is just something about hair dying that doesn't sit right with me for whatever reason.
24-06-2014 16:27 #27
@GingerKat see, I don't see hair dye as being for "beautifying women". I just see it as a product that can be used to change things up a bit. I've been dying my hair almost continuously since I was 12, and it's never been to 'beautify' myself, merely just as a change, or as a bit of expression. I much prefer to dye my hair to change things up than cut it, because I tend to regret hair cuts, but if I regret dying my hair, I can just go back to my natural colour.
And for the record, I don't agree with piercing babies ears either, however it is seen as socially acceptable, whilst hair dying is not, and I really wonder why. Both could be seen as 'beautifying' really, one is painless and temporary, the other is painful, and whilst yes it can be temporary, it very rarely is (given how no one would really pierce their baby's ears then take them out a month later). I just find the whole thing fascinating. It's just hair, why can't kids get the freedom to have a bit of fun with it, y'know?
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24-06-2014 16:36 #28
Well, it's a sign of the times isn't it! I never would have thought to ask mum that when I was 4, because people didn't really dye their hair back then, everyone was more natural. Women who bleached their hair blonde were considered fake and superficial, even sl.utty!
Everyone dies their hair these days, so it's no surprise kids want to as well. It's each family's choice whether they let their kids do it. But it's a shame because little kids have the most beautiful hair naturally!
If DS asked (I doubt it, he hates when I brush his hair!!) I would say no. Maybe when he is bigger.
24-06-2014 16:52 #29
For the chemical aspect I probably wouldnt be too keen on doing it but I don't have an objection to the idea of it...
I dye my hair. Its never the same colour for too long. My natural hair colour is blonde but ive had purple red pink black, brown, blue, hell even multiple colours at once. I also very very rarely wear makeup or dress up im a very casual person. Dying my hair is about showing my creative side. Not trying to make myself beautiful. So if my kids (granted they're all boys) said they wantrd to do it I'd ask why and discuss it with them. It certainly wouldnt be a blanket no response.
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24-06-2014 17:03 #30
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