I am hoping some of you have experienced this type of behaviour before and would like to hear if it got better and if there's anything that can help.
DS has terrible tantrum like meltdown moments... I have a DD who's 2 and she's a dream compared to him.
I used to think it was related to him being born early and being away from me (in NICU) for two weeks, I have since given him lots of contact, co sleeping, holding, we breastfeed on demand... I have accepted that his personality is just sensitive a touch dramatic and very very sookie.
He's 8 months old and he sleeps less than my 2 yr old does because it's a russian roulette when putting him down, he feeds to sleep most times then I hold him till he's fully asleep but 3 times out of 5 he'll wake up when I attempt to put him down at which point it's the end of world and he's up for the next couple of hours. At night seems to be easier I can place him in his cot and he sleeps for about 3 hours then he wakes and feeds and then it's ON...
DH and sometimes myself are at a point where we are considering letting him cry it out, but I really really dont want to do that, and tbh I dont think it would work. He gets himself so worked up over nothing, honestly it has crossed my mind he might have some disorder. Maybe Im overreacting, maybe my first child is too balanced and tranquil and I dont know what Im talking about... I just wish I could calm him down and tell him its OK!
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24-06-2014 05:52 #1
My 8 months old tantrums!!!
24-06-2014 06:06 #2
That sounds really stressful
My DS does tantrums like no one else and has from about that age. His tantrums are if you take something from him/ move him from an are he isn't supposed to be etc. Was your DS ever diagnosed with reflux/ any medical conditions?
24-06-2014 06:18 #3Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
No advise really. Just posting to say you are not alone.
My littlest is 9 months old and we're going through the same thing. From around midnight every night I land up bed sharing with her attached to my boob just so that we can all get some sleep...although the quality of my sleep is terrible and my back aches.
Luckily miss feisty is also a cutie!
She was also early and in nicu and we had a fight to get her here but i don't think that its the reason for the way she is. I think its got more to do with personality - i had a normal pregnancy with my first child and she was born at 41 weeks with no complications...and she also has a temper.
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24-06-2014 08:53 #4Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
My 13 month old ds is exactly the same. We have found since he learnt to sit up and bum shuffle around he has become slightly better. He wears himself out and sleeps longer stints at night. We still have to hold him to put him to sleep as otherwise he just screams.
At 8 months I was at my wits end as well and we ended up Co sleeping with him attached to my boob for what felt like all night. It seemed like it would never end. I was lucky as ds would settle 5/10 for my dh so we would take it in turns. We did try letting him cry it out once but that was a disaster. He was such a sensitive little soul all that ended up happening was he became a cling on and it took hours to get him back to sleep.
I think it is a huge shock to the system as dd also was a very laid back baby slept through from 12 weeks and boom along came ds.
He also was five weeks early and even now is sooo sensitive and sookie. Wakes up screaming every time and has to be held 80% of the time while awake.
For nap times we either hold him (not practical I know but somedays he needs to sleep) put him down and expect him to wake or use the car. As we live rurally we just take the car out to a paddock leave it running with him strapped in and work around it. For overnight we find if he stirs and dh gets him quickly he will settle back to sleep holding onto one of us in the bed. We also made rules like no boob till 2 and slowly stretched it out until now its 5am. We also learnt how to feed lying down so he feeds to sleep and just drops off happily next to us.
Sorry for the essay I thought my ds was the only bub like this!
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24-06-2014 09:22 #5
My youngest was like this too and like yourself, my eldest was a cruisey little baby so I had no idea what was up.
I also suspected reflux and brought him for assessment.
The pediatrician called him a fraud!
Basically he hadn't reflux, maybe just a mild bit because he was constantly feeding, but he did agree that he was a very unhappy, unsettled baby.
So with nothing wrong as far as the doc could see, we just rode it out.
He's two now and still a very sensitive child.
He demands to be treated a certain way, always has to be first for everything and last for everything.
For example, kissing them good night, he needs his kiss first, then I go kiss his brother and then I have to kiss him again?
When he's good, he is very, very good, and so affectionate and loving, but by god does he have a flip switch.
Just this morning I dared to go get a hot chocolate after the school drop off.
He had every single mood under the sun in those 5 minutes.
I won't be bothering to do that again soon.
All I'd advise is keep loving him through it.
That's all I did.
It's hard to keep cool at times but you'll get better results with kindness I think.
I think some children just aren't happy in baby bodies. That's how I felt watching my DS2 go through these phases.
I could see him watching his brother almost in frustration at being stuck on his bum. He definitely got easier once he got those legs going.
He was so determined to get his own freedom that he was walking at 10.5 months.
I absolutely adore him though, his good points far outweigh the tantrums even at their worst.
24-06-2014 11:06 #6
hi, I could be wrong, but I worry that 8 months is a bit young for tantrums?? surely there would be a medical cause?? reflux or colic. ? or even just some sort of physical pain ?? I have not ever thought a baby could have a tantrum. I remember when I was getting established with bf my twins, one bub was more unsettled than the other, but we found that she was actually not getting enough and I had to swap sides with them. I never thought it was just a tantrum, we just had to keep trying until we worked out what was wrong. just my thoughts. marie.
24-06-2014 12:01 #7
My bub is just a few weeks older then yours and yep I think he throws tantrums too. Like if he grabs my moblie phone and I take it off him he drops his bottom lip arches his back and screams at me. When he started doing it I was shocked because I thought surely he is too young to be so willful! Apparently not!!!
I have found that talking to him has REALLY helped. I firmly believe that bubs understand much more then we give them credit for. So for the phone example I will say "no mummy's phone is not a toy. Here why don't you play with this. Please don't yell at me because I will not give you my phone" and then distract. He his much much less likely to tantrum if I talk things through. I also talk to him a lot about sleeping. "It's sleep time soon. Mummy is going to put you down and I expect you to sleep for 2hrs. I will come and get you in 2hrs. Blah blah blah". Sounds odd but I promise it really helps.
On the topic of sleep. It seems to me that if he is sleeping poorly then he will feel more fragile and then of course tantrums will be more frequent. I hope you don't mind me saying that I also wonder if his time in NICU and all the emotions that go with that have changed the way you deal with him. He gets away with more so he acts out more compared with your daughter. I don't think 8 months is too young for this IMO. To me it sounds like he would really benefit from more consistency. I am not at all against letting bubs cry a bit when they are learning to settle to sleep but doing some CIO and then sometimes feeding to sleep does sound very confusing and frustrating for him. Could you maybe get a sleep consultant to come and help you make a plan. If you are consistent with helping him sleep and he starts getting more rest I think his tantrums will reducing a lot as well.
This parenting job is really hard! I have no idea how I will deal with a thee year old considering my bub is doing this already. I guess I'm saying to also cut yourself some slack. It sounds like you are doing your very best. Good luck. X
24-06-2014 12:03 #8
Oh sorry I just realised that you said you are THINKING about CIO not that you have done it yet. Sorry.
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