My DS is 6 and has behavioural issues. His psych recommends the use of the 1,2,3 magic, also giving DS a choice when it comes to behaviours to make it feel like he is in power. Like for example you could say to your boys "if you have your bath now, get dried and dressed then sit at the table, you can have dessert. Otherwise if you choose to muck around and make a mess in the bathroom, you can clean it up and go straight to bed". That's probably not a great example but you get the idea? I find it works on DS, like in the mornings when he is refusing to get dressed I will say "you can either get dressed or go to school in just your undies-it's your choice", works a treat every time.
I find DS2 doesn't care too much with the removal of ipad, DS, etc.. That method works well on my 9 year old though.
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21-06-2014 22:19 #11
21-06-2014 22:38 #12
Oh Nomsie, now stressful... I agree with PPs about swift and meaningful consequences, but I also know that you know that :-)
Just thinking about what we might do in the classroom, would divide and conquer work? I'm not sure if your house is big enough, but do they have to sleep in the same room/bath/eat at the same time? Could you catch the one being good (or not atrocious) and reward them with a trip with dad out for ice cream or something while the ringleader has to stay behind and clean up/miss out?
22-06-2014 19:57 #13
they sound like my 2 hun! I seriously find 123 magic does help it doesnt stop the behaviour from ever happening but it makes it more manageable and it stops me from compleatly freaking out all the time. You will also benefit from going straight to 3 (consequences) rather than going through 2 warnings first because some of those behaviours should not have warnings. I find my 2 just stopped hearing me when I shouted which is also something 123 helps with. I have also found the "more counting, less talking" motto the best thing, it allows me to put more energy into positive expereinces as I dont feel so drained chastising them all the bloody time!
I feel for you but you are not alone- trust me
By Staaz in forum Conception & Fertility General ChatReplies: 492Last Post: 07-04-2014, 08:26
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