Sorry this is a bit long...
My DS1 is in year 6 at school. To describe him quickly for you, would be- a nerdy, geeky, well-behaved, serious, oversensitive, Aspergery child. He has a mere handful of friends; his best friend is very similar to him with undiagnosed social issues, another is just your standard 'geek', another also has SN and has always been terribly bullied, one is from overseas and doesn't fit in with others, and sometimes there's one or 2 more that they hang out with, but they are his closest friends.
Every lunch time for the past 3 years, these boys sit together and play Yu-gi-oh cards. If you don't know what they are, they are a series of fantasy cards where each card's character has a special effect, attack and defence points, and you battle them against each other. So your typical nerdy game.
They love these cards because, well they just think they're awesome. But they also serve a purpose in that the boys have something to do, they are able to gather themselves up in a corner and sit down and keep to themselves, they don't have to hang around where kids tease them, they don't have to go and play handball/soccer with all the other boys who again, tease them and are generally pretty mean. Thankfully my DS isn't often the focus of their teasing, but his friends are, and that bothers DS greatly (it's actually the main reason my DS decided to befriend the SN boy- to "protect him").
Anyway, today my DS1 comes to me after the bell and declares that he just had the worst day of his life. He tells me that everyone is bringing those stupid Woolies cards to school, and playing games with them that involves flicking them (at people apparently ), and also some of them are going down to the infants and selling them!
So this teacher announced at assembly that all cards will now be banned from school. The boys figured that she just meant Woolies cards, but when she spotted them playing Yu-gi-oh later on, she made them put them away and again stated all cards are banned.
DS said his bestie looked like he was going to cry. His friends are all very concerned. DS is also very worried and doesn't know what he is going to do.
So.... do you think I should approach the teacher and ask if she would allow the Yu-gi-oh cards? I don't know her much but she seems pretty scary LOL. I actually think she's the assistant principal. She is also the OC teacher so I'm hoping she could understand the life of a nerdy kid?
Usually I am a stickler for rules, and I tell my kids that rules are rules and they just have to deal with it. But in this case I'm a bit worried about the impact this banning will have on these boys.
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18-06-2014 18:33 #1Senior Member
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- Feb 2006
Would you say something to the teacher?
18-06-2014 18:40 #2
It's definitely worth having the chat - hopefully she or one of the other teachers would know your DS has been playing with them trouble free over the years and could make an exemption as they were not the cards ( or students ) that caused the trouble?
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18-06-2014 18:44 #3
Yes I would. Is there a deputy principal you can speak with? I ask because we had something similar at our school except with football cards and all cards got banned. Lots of parents complained and they reversed the ban and dealt with the small group of kids who we're ruining it for everyone else.
I'd definitely be saying something.
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18-06-2014 18:48 #4
Does your school have a special needs teacher/aide that you could talk too to add support to your case?
Definitely go into bat for them with the school.
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18-06-2014 18:50 #5
Definitely bring it up. I'm an assistant principal and blanket bans like this are bs. Once you explain your position I have no doubt she will understand.
18-06-2014 18:53 #6
Hi OP. I'm a teacher myself, and I think a blanket ban with such things screams kneejerk reaction and is extremely poor management. My concern would be that if this group of boys you describe is already somewhat alienated or vulnerable, then if a rule is lifted especially for them (or perceived to be that way), then this is yet another thing that can be used against them socially. Also, they would be likely to be continually approached by people telling them they're breaking the rules, so they would be forced to keep justifying themselves, which may be daunting or upsetting. My approach as a parent would be to find a moment to comment to his teacher on how you thought it was terribly unfair that the whole school is being punished for the actions of a few, and hopefully that will plant a seed with her to try and come up with a better solution with the other staff.
Meanwhile, is there another game you could send to school with your son that he might like to teach his friends? I know it's not the same, but it will solve a problem of them having nothing to do.
18-06-2014 18:53 #7
Yes would certainly bring it up I'm sure once the teacher/principal heard your reasoning they would allow this group of kids to play you-gi-oh cards when they weren't the problem ones
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18-06-2014 19:04 #8
I would also bring it up. Hopefully they listen and you get a positive outcome for your son and his friends.
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18-06-2014 21:06 #9Senior Member
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- Feb 2006
I think I'll see how he goes for tomorrow, and see if he brings his cards and if they're allowed to play. Maybe the teacher might relax a little by tomorrow. Then I'll speak to her tomorrow arvo maybe.
I don't know that there's a SN teacher that I could talk to, but hopefully if I speak directly to the teacher she will understand.
As for playing another game, I don't think that there is anything else! I've been racking my brain but haven't thought of anything yet.
18-06-2014 21:20 #10
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