I want to cry reading your post
First of all it does not sound like you are on the correct medication and/or dosage you really need to see your dr ASAP. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Is hubby seeking help for his anger management issues? I don't think he should be smacking a 1 year old. Also, your DS may be acting out because both of his parents are not happy. I think you may find he improves when you are both in a better place.
Do you have family who can hep out?
When you say drinking, do you means substance abuse?
Please know that you are not alone!! I had/have PND after my third daughter was born. I couldn't cope, I wanted to explode over the most insignificant things and Cried so much. It was managed through medication and then when I realised it was causing me to gain weight I slowly weaned myself off of it. The withdrawals were horrible and I had what felt like a breakdown when the drug was finally gone from my system. I am still not feeling very good but am slowly improving, I think. You should know that things will get better, but it DS take time and conscious effort.
Please see your dr xxx
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18-06-2014 19:31 #21
18-06-2014 21:10 #22
Thank you everyone for your words of support. DS is asleep after another almighty tantrum over me not pouring all the milk into his already full bottle. I did have 2 glasses of wine over a 2 hour period and DH and I talked a lot about our situation. Unfortunately we didn't really come up with anything - there really is no one now in either family who can help us (the only one who might be able to are overseas for another 6 weeks) and we don't have any close friends nearby either. Plus despite me ranting here, we're actually quite private people IRL. Fostering DS is something we're considering but we're hoping the doctor will be able to help us come up with an alternative. Maybe more days a week at daycare would help me but I am concerned that DS may be more difficult at home in the evenings. Will update tomorrow after seeing doctor
Goodnight and thanks again
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18-06-2014 21:56 #23
Hi waggers. We used to chat a lot in the sleep vent thread. I wish I could offer more than virtual hugs and positive thoughts your way. You've really had a rough time to say the least. Sleep deprivation pushes you to the edge of insanity.... plus I also know that while under that pressure your marriage hits tough times and hubby can get stressed and do thing that otherwise he might not do.
I hope you get some rest and the dr can help you guys. Would a sleep school or similar help to get things on track? Plus the extra daycare? I really hope that you can get some support and find a way forward. xo
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18-06-2014 22:01 #24
There is Ellen Barron in Brisbane which is a sleep school. You go and stay for a week... Worth a thought and some investigation. We travelled from the Sunshine Coast to stay there when I needed help with feeding issues. They let dh, me, ds and dd all stay there together for a week.
19-06-2014 03:18 #25-
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Good luck today at the doctors xx
19-06-2014 04:18 #26
Waggers. We were on the same DIG here.
I know how you're feeling. I'm about to restart antidepressants after years off them. I worked yesterday and ended up standing in the middle of the room and crying my eyes out. This age is SO HARD with them. I've come to breaking point over and over in the last month. I feel so guilty that I can't cope.
Pm me, we can help each other through this. Xxx
19-06-2014 05:16 #27
I hope it goes well at the doctors today. I'd definitely look into full time daycare before fostering. As Vicpark said, my DD also handled it better doing more days rather than less. They do get reaaaally tired though so I'd often feed her a sandwich in the car trip home so she could go straight to bed - no dinner table battles then!! As already mentioned, talk to centre link about if you qualify for extra discounts given all circumstances.
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19-06-2014 07:13 #28
Hi Waggers - I hope things go well today and you start to feel like you have some started to find some ways forward.
I just wanted to add that I also have a very "spirited" DS. He chucks whopper tantrums, it is very difficult. Tbh I don't think I would cope if I wasn't going to work. I would find being at home with him all the time very, very hard. I know you work but I also think you work and are at home which means you have very little time to re-boot. This is also the situation I have been in, I have pushed the sleep deprivation, running on empty with work and travel too far and in some ways have been paying a price. A few weeks ago we decided as a family that I needed to take my long service leave. This was not something I had planned to do for a very long time but this really is the time for us to take it. I have been doing this with a very supportive DH so I think when you are also struggling with your DH anger management it's no surprise that you are at the end of your tether. When you are so low you often feel like there is no way to scramble back out, but todays first step I think will start that climb for you. I think what you will find with putting your DS into day care more that he will actually be more tired and less combative when at home. I find on those days with DS I pick him up and we have dinner ready to go, story and maybe a bath (I pick my battles) and then to bed. The day I am home with DS there are definitely more battles. I also agree with @VicPark regarding days at daycare - some kids need to be there a decent amount of time to feel connected. Starting daycare at 18 months will always have some settling in issues, they are very aware that they are being left but he will most likely begin to settle very well. It could very well be very beneficial for him to be surrounded by peers in an environment which is structured - this has an added benefit of providing security. Often children trying to control their environments are doing so out of feeling insecure so they argue, fight and try to control things which seem ridiculous to anyone else. I will be keeping my DS in daycare when I am on leave - I was only planning on doing this 2 days but I am reconsidering this after @VicParks comments because I think it holds truth for kids like my DS. I'm going to use this time to focus on my health, do yoga, walk and read some books - it takes time to become balanced again, I'm going to take it because I think it will make our life better. I hope today goes well
ETA: I'm not sure if you have a MHP but ask for this and a referral to a good psych. I think anti depressants work wonders for people but I also think combining them with therapy is ideal. Used in isolation they can be a band aid effect for some people and not work as well as they should but combined with therapy you can work on the cause not just the symptoms.
Last edited by babyla; 19-06-2014 at 07:20.
19-06-2014 07:17 #29
Thinking of you today, Waggers. And I totally agree re the daycare comments. My DS goes four days and has been a totally different kid since x
19-06-2014 07:41 #30
I agree with daycare comments too. I think, if it means you get more of a break you might be able to catch up on rest, leading to a better state of mind, hopefully leading to be able to work through some of the things you are finding overwhelming right now. And you never know, the daily structure and routine might do DS some good. And if not , you can always take him out again after a month or two and you'll still have had a bit of a break!
Really hope you're ok. I am another one who has ( and still does sometimes) struggled through the first few years of DDs life, through anxiety, depression, and self doubt. You are not alone.
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